Most of the emails were questions, but then I began to receive specific requests. Now my menu of services included, but was not limited to: Dancing On Your Grave, Motherfucker, Knock If You’re Still Breathing, also known as the Shake N Bake, The Merry Widow, The Banshee, The Wailer, Pretty In Black, and Your Girl Friday.
Your Girl Friday was ultimately the vision I’d had in mind for my business. I wanted to be the person that held your hand while you said goodbye, someone who could say thank you to well-wishers paying their respects when it was all you could do just to open your eyes and face the day. I was basically the personal assistant of the funeral world.
But over the years, that aspect had become secondary. I was called upon to do all sorts of weird and whacky things, and the next funeral I had booked was exactly that.
“I’m sorry, you want me to what?” I asked.
I met three new clients, all men, at a coffee shop in Sausalito. They requested a combination of The Wailing Woman and The Merry Widow.
“Well…” the most handsome of the three began and stopped. They all looked at each other.
“You tell her,” the burliest man said.
“You tell her,” the second burliest insisted.
“Someone tell me,” I urged patiently.
“Russ, Pete, and myself… He’s Pete, I’m Ted, that’s Russ.” Russ was looking a little peaked, I thought. “Well…”
Oh brother.
“Okay, here’s the dealio.” Russ put a hand on his two companions’ forearms and spoke for them all. “I’m dyin’. I have more bad days than good. It could be six months, could be a year, could be six weeks. We saw you at Lou Lou’s funeral, a few years ago.”
God, that was one of the best funerals I had ever done. Lou Lou was actually Louis Sanchez, a drag queen who was pretty well-known in the “scene,” he’d told me. He, or Lou Lou actually, was famous for his Light Up My Life show and had apparently met his partner, Steven, during his performance. Then, when they were married, Steven took singing lessons for six months so he could serenade Louis at the reception. I thought it was very sweet and very romantic.
When Louis was diagnosed with ALS, he knew exactly what he wanted to do for the love of his life when he passed, and that was where I came in.
The church was packed, and, when I say packed, I mean…standing room only. There were the normal family and friends you’d see at a funeral, but these family and friends gave out so much love, I left that place filled to the brim with it.
Everything was arranged, and after the beautiful words eulogizing Louis were finished, I stood at the back of the church with a microphone in my hand and said the words Louis had given me to memorize.
“Steven, I have a message from Louis.” I cleared my throat and continued. “Baby, I wanted you to know something today. I don’t want to leave you, but I’m leaving you in good hands. You are loved, and every single person here is going to be there to keep loving you when I’m gone. See you later, baby. Love you, the light of my life. Always.”
Then the music started as six, fully costumed drag queens in sequins, feathers, and full Vegas headdresses appeared behind me. In their baritone and tenor voices, they sang the first verse of “You Light Up My Life.” The entire church had the program in their hands with instructions to join in on the chorus, and I led the six fabulous men to the front of the church where I stood next to Steven, holding his hand as he gazed lovingly at his husband, lying in the casket. It was horrible because it was so, so sad, and beautiful because his lover had given him that final message that most of those left behind never get to hear. No one ever thinks it’s going to happen, so they never say the words they should have said when they could.
But Louis did.
I looked up and saw the three men stare at me. I’d been crying. Oh my God, that had never happened before.
“I’m so sorry,” I
Your Girl Friday was ultimately the vision I’d had in mind for my business. I wanted to be the person that held your hand while you said goodbye, someone who could say thank you to well-wishers paying their respects when it was all you could do just to open your eyes and face the day. I was basically the personal assistant of the funeral world.
But over the years, that aspect had become secondary. I was called upon to do all sorts of weird and whacky things, and the next funeral I had booked was exactly that.
“I’m sorry, you want me to what?” I asked.
I met three new clients, all men, at a coffee shop in Sausalito. They requested a combination of The Wailing Woman and The Merry Widow.
“Well…” the most handsome of the three began and stopped. They all looked at each other.
“You tell her,” the burliest man said.
“You tell her,” the second burliest insisted.
“Someone tell me,” I urged patiently.
“Russ, Pete, and myself… He’s Pete, I’m Ted, that’s Russ.” Russ was looking a little peaked, I thought. “Well…”
Oh brother.
“Okay, here’s the dealio.” Russ put a hand on his two companions’ forearms and spoke for them all. “I’m dyin’. I have more bad days than good. It could be six months, could be a year, could be six weeks. We saw you at Lou Lou’s funeral, a few years ago.”
God, that was one of the best funerals I had ever done. Lou Lou was actually Louis Sanchez, a drag queen who was pretty well-known in the “scene,” he’d told me. He, or Lou Lou actually, was famous for his Light Up My Life show and had apparently met his partner, Steven, during his performance. Then, when they were married, Steven took singing lessons for six months so he could serenade Louis at the reception. I thought it was very sweet and very romantic.
When Louis was diagnosed with ALS, he knew exactly what he wanted to do for the love of his life when he passed, and that was where I came in.
The church was packed, and, when I say packed, I mean…standing room only. There were the normal family and friends you’d see at a funeral, but these family and friends gave out so much love, I left that place filled to the brim with it.
Everything was arranged, and after the beautiful words eulogizing Louis were finished, I stood at the back of the church with a microphone in my hand and said the words Louis had given me to memorize.
“Steven, I have a message from Louis.” I cleared my throat and continued. “Baby, I wanted you to know something today. I don’t want to leave you, but I’m leaving you in good hands. You are loved, and every single person here is going to be there to keep loving you when I’m gone. See you later, baby. Love you, the light of my life. Always.”
Then the music started as six, fully costumed drag queens in sequins, feathers, and full Vegas headdresses appeared behind me. In their baritone and tenor voices, they sang the first verse of “You Light Up My Life.” The entire church had the program in their hands with instructions to join in on the chorus, and I led the six fabulous men to the front of the church where I stood next to Steven, holding his hand as he gazed lovingly at his husband, lying in the casket. It was horrible because it was so, so sad, and beautiful because his lover had given him that final message that most of those left behind never get to hear. No one ever thinks it’s going to happen, so they never say the words they should have said when they could.
But Louis did.
I looked up and saw the three men stare at me. I’d been crying. Oh my God, that had never happened before.
“I’m so sorry,” I
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