The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag 00 - Swept Under the Rug by Jennifer L. Hart

isn’t any?” I guessed. I’d never seen her drink as much as a sip of champagne, her body being a temple and all. Now, drunk off her ass and disheveled, she reminded me of, well, me.
    She pointed at me and laughed. “You called it, Maggie. Mag-gie, hag-gie, the Laundry Hag.” More giggling.
    “What’s with the sticks?” I gestured at her handful and she blinked as though she’d forgotten what she held.
    “It’s Sage, not sticks. I planned on smudging the house, particularly the bedroom.”
    “What’s smudging?” Where did she come across all this stuff?
    “Spiritual house cleansing,” She answered. “To exorcise Eric from the room and purify the house.”
    “Sylvia, why is the power turned off?” I took the bottle from her so she couldn’t hide behind it. She’d only been fired a few days ago, so I was pretty sure she wasn’t destitute. Yet.
    “No one paid the bill. I thought Eric paid it, like he always does. And I guess he was gone before I saw it with my own eyes.” The eyes in question filled with tears. “It wasn’t the first time.”
    I sat up straighter. “What do you mean?”
    “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” Sylvia’s voice sing-songed as she waggled her finger at me. “They’re all alike, Maggie. Every Y-chromosome carrier, deep down at a molecular level. Doesn’t matter what you do for ‘em, how much you give, they still have that roving eye.”
    I swallowed. “I don’t believe that, Sylvie.”
    Sylvia snatched her bottle back. “Some things are true no matter what you believe.”

Nine

    “ W hy is Sylvia sleeping on our air mattress?” I jumped at Neil’s question, bashing my funny bone on the open medicine cabinet as I spun around. The running water in the bathtub had masked the sound of his approach.
    “Lord, you scared ten years off my life.” As I caught my breath, I studied my husband, wondering where he’d been this morning. He didn’t appear any different than he had last night, other than the fatigue lines around his deep-set green eyes. Arms folded across his chest, he stared me down and I turned to shut off the water in the tub.
    “How was your day?” I asked, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.
    “Shitty. We had more problems than the engineers anticipated and I have to be back in at six tomorrow. Now, I’m tired and I want nothing more than six hours of uninterrupted sleep, but it seems that your girlfriend is camped out on the living room floor.”
    Passed out was more like it. I swallowed at the news he was going to disappear again and knowing he wasn’t going to be at work, that he’d just lied to my face, got my back up.
    “It’s only for one night. Eric didn’t pay the bills on time and Sylvia’s without power and heat until she can settle her accounts during business hours tomorrow. I’ll get her straightened out first thing.”
    “And where did you plan on us sleeping tonight?”
    “Marty’s camper,” I hefted my chin defiantly. “I already hooked up the portable space heater so if you wanna go crash, be my guest.”
    Neil stared at me for a beat. “Are you telling me that I can’t sleep in my own house?”
    “For one damn night, Neil. Suck it up.”
    He crowded me against the bathroom sink, a dangerous light in his eyes. “Suck it up?” He repeated, leaning in so I was trapped between his body and the counter.
    “You were a SEAL, for the love of grief. Aren’t you accustomed to roughing it?” For a second, I thought he was going to lose it and shout the house down, waking its various occupants. Then, something shifted; he cocked his head to the side, and studied me.
    “Maggie, what’s going on? Did something happen?” Concern was written clearly across his features and threaded through his deep voice. Oh, God, I was going to cave. This was not the time. I needed him furious, ready to tear my head off because he had to sleep in the world’s crappiest RV, not compassionate. I had no defense against Neil’s