to travel by Ministry car?â
âItâs late already; your parents will be wondering where you are. You know a Ministry car will get you back home in half the time of a normal car.â
âI know, but.â¦â
âBut me no buts,â insisted Grey as he hurried them down a corridor toward the exit.
Once outside, Jack was impressed by what was waiting for them. He couldnât understand why Trudy had been reluctant to travel by Ministry car. It was a long black limousine, polished to such a high shine that even in the twilight it seemed to shimmer.
âAfter you,â said Trudy.
Jack didnât have to be asked twice. He heard Grey say good-bye as he scrambled into the back of the car. It wasnât quite what he had been expecting.
Inside, the car was disgusting. When he had opened the door, a cloud of noxious air had rolled out, the smell of which was almost unbearable.
Although the car was spacious with two wide leather seats facing each other, it was filled with ⦠well, it was filled with deeply unpleasant things. Some organic unpleasant things. Some man-made unpleasant things. And several organic man-made unpleasant things.
It took Jack several minutes to find somewhere to sit down that wouldnât make a squelching noise.
Trudy climbed into the car and flopped down on the seat beside him. âThe first time anyone travels in a Ministry car they always take a few minutes trying to locate the cleanest part of the seat to sit on. After youâve been in one of these cars a few times youâll realize that itâs all equally filthy.â
Trudy waved good-bye to Grey as he slammed the door of the limousine shut.
Jack couldnât see the driver; they were separated from him by a smoked-glass screen. He could see the outline of a head with a black chauffeurâs cap on it. The glass screen was never moved down, but Jack could hardly blame the driver. After all, the passenger compartment smelled awful. The driver would either have to keep the glass up to avoid the smell or would have to have his nose removed. And if the driver did have his nose removed, then his sunglasses would always be slipping down his face. 32
âIs this really the best car that the Ministry can afford?â asked Jack.
âNot the best, itâs just the fastest,â said Trudy.
âI donât understand: Is it so fast that the cleaning staff can never catch it? Iâm sure there has to be some kind of speedy valet service somewhere that could have it looking spick-and-span.â
Trudy shook her head. âIf it was cleaner, then it wouldnât be as fast.â
Jack frowned. âSorry? I think I may have misheard you. I thought you said that if this car was cleaner, then it wouldnât be as fast.â
Trudy nodded. âThatâs exactly what I said. Simple physics.â
Jack was willing to concede that it might be because of physics, but it certainly wasnât simple physics. Simple physics was about lights being powered by electricity or magnets attracting metal. Simple physics was gravity causing an apple to fall to the floor. 33
Jack tried to make himself comfortable but failed. âExplain how physics makes this car travel faster.â
âIsnât it obvious?â asked Trudy.
It isnât , Jack thought. It really isnât .
----
MINISTRY OF S.U.I.T.S HANDBOOK
NINJAS
C LOTHING C HOICES
People often wonder why ninjas wear black all the time. The most common explanation is that it helps them hide. Of course this is a ridiculous suggestion. If you are trying to stay hidden, black is the last color you should be wearing. Walk into almost any house anywhere in the world and check the color of the walls. They are almost always white, or apple white, or some type of fruit/vegetable white, or magnolia. Now, imagine a ninja standing against one of these walls. Now, some people may suggest that ninjas originated in feudal Japan and so they
âItâs late already; your parents will be wondering where you are. You know a Ministry car will get you back home in half the time of a normal car.â
âI know, but.â¦â
âBut me no buts,â insisted Grey as he hurried them down a corridor toward the exit.
Once outside, Jack was impressed by what was waiting for them. He couldnât understand why Trudy had been reluctant to travel by Ministry car. It was a long black limousine, polished to such a high shine that even in the twilight it seemed to shimmer.
âAfter you,â said Trudy.
Jack didnât have to be asked twice. He heard Grey say good-bye as he scrambled into the back of the car. It wasnât quite what he had been expecting.
Inside, the car was disgusting. When he had opened the door, a cloud of noxious air had rolled out, the smell of which was almost unbearable.
Although the car was spacious with two wide leather seats facing each other, it was filled with ⦠well, it was filled with deeply unpleasant things. Some organic unpleasant things. Some man-made unpleasant things. And several organic man-made unpleasant things.
It took Jack several minutes to find somewhere to sit down that wouldnât make a squelching noise.
Trudy climbed into the car and flopped down on the seat beside him. âThe first time anyone travels in a Ministry car they always take a few minutes trying to locate the cleanest part of the seat to sit on. After youâve been in one of these cars a few times youâll realize that itâs all equally filthy.â
Trudy waved good-bye to Grey as he slammed the door of the limousine shut.
Jack couldnât see the driver; they were separated from him by a smoked-glass screen. He could see the outline of a head with a black chauffeurâs cap on it. The glass screen was never moved down, but Jack could hardly blame the driver. After all, the passenger compartment smelled awful. The driver would either have to keep the glass up to avoid the smell or would have to have his nose removed. And if the driver did have his nose removed, then his sunglasses would always be slipping down his face. 32
âIs this really the best car that the Ministry can afford?â asked Jack.
âNot the best, itâs just the fastest,â said Trudy.
âI donât understand: Is it so fast that the cleaning staff can never catch it? Iâm sure there has to be some kind of speedy valet service somewhere that could have it looking spick-and-span.â
Trudy shook her head. âIf it was cleaner, then it wouldnât be as fast.â
Jack frowned. âSorry? I think I may have misheard you. I thought you said that if this car was cleaner, then it wouldnât be as fast.â
Trudy nodded. âThatâs exactly what I said. Simple physics.â
Jack was willing to concede that it might be because of physics, but it certainly wasnât simple physics. Simple physics was about lights being powered by electricity or magnets attracting metal. Simple physics was gravity causing an apple to fall to the floor. 33
Jack tried to make himself comfortable but failed. âExplain how physics makes this car travel faster.â
âIsnât it obvious?â asked Trudy.
It isnât , Jack thought. It really isnât .
----
MINISTRY OF S.U.I.T.S HANDBOOK
NINJAS
C LOTHING C HOICES
People often wonder why ninjas wear black all the time. The most common explanation is that it helps them hide. Of course this is a ridiculous suggestion. If you are trying to stay hidden, black is the last color you should be wearing. Walk into almost any house anywhere in the world and check the color of the walls. They are almost always white, or apple white, or some type of fruit/vegetable white, or magnolia. Now, imagine a ninja standing against one of these walls. Now, some people may suggest that ninjas originated in feudal Japan and so they
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