dreadful row on the horizon, Julia turned back to Dan. In a split second everything else was forgotten. 'Oh my God!' she gasped, grabbing him. 'Dan! Dan!'
His eyes were rolling back in his head, and his teeth were clenched as his small body started to convulse.
Josh was there in an instant, taking him. 'It's OK, son,' he said firmly. 'I've got you. It's going to be all right.' Quickly they turned Dan on his side and held him as the seizure gripped his small frame. It was only a matter of seconds, but to Julia it was an eternity of terror, as she tormented herself with the fear of him not coming out of it at all; or emerging with brain damage. Could he stand to go through all those dreadful tests and hospital visits again? Could she?
At last he was still, and as he blinked and started to look around for her she gathered him up in her arms.
'Mum?' he said groggily.
'I'm here, darling,' she soothed, still trembling. 'Are you OK?'
His answer was to bury his face in her neck.
'There,' she said weakly, holding him close. 'It's all right now. Everything's all right.'
Josh turned to Shannon who was standing at the door, hands clasped over her mouth in horror.
'Is he all right, Dad?' she asked shakily.
'He's fine,' Josh assured her, going to comfort her.
'What happened? Why did he do that?'
'You know what happened,' Josh answered gently. 'We just haven't seen one in a while.'
'He's going to be all right though, isn't he?'
'Of course.'
Julia was rocking her son back and forth, her face pressed to his head as she fought back the tears. Almost two years with nothing, the longest spell they'd ever had, so why now? What had triggered it? In her heart she feared the worst, and the guilt she felt was only made worse by Dan's hand reaching up to her face.
'Shall we ask Dad to carry you back to bed, and I'll come and lie down with you?' she whispered to him.
He nodded.
As Josh took him from her their eyes met, and she saw instantly that he blamed her too. However, now wasn't the time to discuss it, Dan needed to rest, and after she'd called the doctor she wouldn't leave him until he woke up and she felt certain it wasn't going to happen again.
So it wasn't until the middle of the day, after the doctor had assured her it didn't sound serious, and Josh had taken Shannon to his health club for a swim, that she and Josh were alone in their bedroom and able to talk.
'You know very well,' Josh said through his teeth, 'that distress can bring on an attack, so what the hell were you thinking? Just what is going on with you, that you can let him think I'm leaving? You scared him half to death, Shannon too. Jesus Christ, Julia,' He clapped his hands to his head, his rage so profound that he barely knew how to contain it.
'I didn't tell him you were leaving,' she cried, trying to keep her voice down.
'I heard what you said! And you heard how they interpreted it. What's the matter with you, can't you see what's happening? Your paranoia is getting through to them on levels you don't even seem to be aware of.'
'It just came out that way. It wasn't meant.. .'
'You've got to get yourself sorted out,' he snapped. 'Something's going on with you, and using Shannon's age as an excuse just isn't good enough,'
Julia blinked. 'What do you mean?' she demanded, trying to remember when she'd mentioned that to him.
For a moment he seemed startled too, then recovering quickly, he said, 'You've got some kind of projection going on here, but whatever happened with your father has nothing to do with me. I'm not going to walk out on my children, I've never even thought about abandoning them, but I'll tell you this, if it weren't for them, then frankly there have been times lately .. .'
Her eyes flashed with fury. 'Go on,' she challenged. 'Finish what you were saying.'
He stared at her hard, clearly sorely tempted.
'You were about to say, if it weren't for them you wouldn't even hesitate,' she seethed. 'Well don't let me stop you. We can manage
His eyes were rolling back in his head, and his teeth were clenched as his small body started to convulse.
Josh was there in an instant, taking him. 'It's OK, son,' he said firmly. 'I've got you. It's going to be all right.' Quickly they turned Dan on his side and held him as the seizure gripped his small frame. It was only a matter of seconds, but to Julia it was an eternity of terror, as she tormented herself with the fear of him not coming out of it at all; or emerging with brain damage. Could he stand to go through all those dreadful tests and hospital visits again? Could she?
At last he was still, and as he blinked and started to look around for her she gathered him up in her arms.
'Mum?' he said groggily.
'I'm here, darling,' she soothed, still trembling. 'Are you OK?'
His answer was to bury his face in her neck.
'There,' she said weakly, holding him close. 'It's all right now. Everything's all right.'
Josh turned to Shannon who was standing at the door, hands clasped over her mouth in horror.
'Is he all right, Dad?' she asked shakily.
'He's fine,' Josh assured her, going to comfort her.
'What happened? Why did he do that?'
'You know what happened,' Josh answered gently. 'We just haven't seen one in a while.'
'He's going to be all right though, isn't he?'
'Of course.'
Julia was rocking her son back and forth, her face pressed to his head as she fought back the tears. Almost two years with nothing, the longest spell they'd ever had, so why now? What had triggered it? In her heart she feared the worst, and the guilt she felt was only made worse by Dan's hand reaching up to her face.
'Shall we ask Dad to carry you back to bed, and I'll come and lie down with you?' she whispered to him.
He nodded.
As Josh took him from her their eyes met, and she saw instantly that he blamed her too. However, now wasn't the time to discuss it, Dan needed to rest, and after she'd called the doctor she wouldn't leave him until he woke up and she felt certain it wasn't going to happen again.
So it wasn't until the middle of the day, after the doctor had assured her it didn't sound serious, and Josh had taken Shannon to his health club for a swim, that she and Josh were alone in their bedroom and able to talk.
'You know very well,' Josh said through his teeth, 'that distress can bring on an attack, so what the hell were you thinking? Just what is going on with you, that you can let him think I'm leaving? You scared him half to death, Shannon too. Jesus Christ, Julia,' He clapped his hands to his head, his rage so profound that he barely knew how to contain it.
'I didn't tell him you were leaving,' she cried, trying to keep her voice down.
'I heard what you said! And you heard how they interpreted it. What's the matter with you, can't you see what's happening? Your paranoia is getting through to them on levels you don't even seem to be aware of.'
'It just came out that way. It wasn't meant.. .'
'You've got to get yourself sorted out,' he snapped. 'Something's going on with you, and using Shannon's age as an excuse just isn't good enough,'
Julia blinked. 'What do you mean?' she demanded, trying to remember when she'd mentioned that to him.
For a moment he seemed startled too, then recovering quickly, he said, 'You've got some kind of projection going on here, but whatever happened with your father has nothing to do with me. I'm not going to walk out on my children, I've never even thought about abandoning them, but I'll tell you this, if it weren't for them, then frankly there have been times lately .. .'
Her eyes flashed with fury. 'Go on,' she challenged. 'Finish what you were saying.'
He stared at her hard, clearly sorely tempted.
'You were about to say, if it weren't for them you wouldn't even hesitate,' she seethed. 'Well don't let me stop you. We can manage
Similar Books
