darkened movie theater?”
“Casey!”
He finally got her attention. “What?” she said.
“For the love of Mike, woman, the girls are fine. Don’t you trust me?”
Her heart still hammered, double-time, inside her chest . “I trusted Danny,” she said. “And look how that turned out.”
He muttered an expletive, drew her closer, and folded her in his arms. She rested her head against his shoulder. And let out a hard breath.
“You’re shaking,” he said.
“Just hold me. Just shut up and hold me.”
For a time, they were both silent as her breathing gradually slowed, smoothed, until it matched his. He picked up her hand, kissed the knuckles. Said, “Why were you crying?”
“Nothing . I—I don’t really know. It just hit me, and—you’re sure they’re all right?”
Tenderly stroking the hair at her temple, he said, “ One hundred percent sure. Do you think I’d let anything happen to Emma?”
She took a breath, wet her lips . Said, “I’m not being rational, am I?”
“Truthfully ? Not really.”
“Oh, God. ” She drew a sharp, ragged breath. “What is wrong with me?”
“Maybe I should take you home. Cut this thing short for the day, and pick back up tomorrow.”
“No. ” She sat up straight, smoothed her hair, pulled her dignity around her like a suit of armor. “You have a job to do, you have studio time booked, and I’m being ridiculous. I just—I want my little girl, that’s all. I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go.”
He took her hand in his and gently rubbed her knuckles . “The girls are due back anytime. How’d it go with the doctor?”
“It went.”
“Everything okay?”
“I’m fine . Nicely healed. Fully cleared for playtime activities.”
He waggled his eyebrows . “Good to know. So, did you have the Big Talk?”
She looked at him blankly, and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear . “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. The birth control talk. What did she have to say about that?”
“Exactly what you’d expect her to say . Don’t even try for at least six months. Decide on a birth control method that’s workable. Don’t take too much time deciding, and be damn careful in the meantime.”
His eyes narrowed . So did his mouth. “She didn’t put you on anything?”
“I told her I had to think about it.”
“Is that a good idea? Jesus, babe, we don’t need any accidents.”
She sat silent, tight-lipped and stiff . “Or,” he said, “maybe you’re hoping for an accident.”
“The clock is ticking , Flash. I’m almost thirty-eight years old. I don’t have that much time left.”
He leaned his head back and, staring at the ceiling, let out a pained sigh. “Did you talk about this obsession you have with getting pregnant again?”
“It’s not an obsession, and I resent you calling it that.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s how it looks from my side of the bed.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I don’t want you to say anything. I also don’t want you to die. Because facing life without you beside me? Not a place I’m interested in visiting.”
* * *
On the way back to the apartment, with Emma safely tucked into her stroller, Casey stopped at Oh, Baby! again. Determined to not make an ass of herself this time, she avoided the newborn department, instead marching directly to the 18-month-size clothing for girls. She thumbed through racks of dresses, with their ruffles and lace and girly, flowery prints. “Look, Emma,” she said, holding up a pretty little aqua-colored number with loads of ruffles and a big, puffy bow on the bodice. “You’d look beautiful in this, don’t you think?”
“Gah,” Emma said.
“That’s what I thought, too,” Casey said. “Do you want Mama to buy you this pretty dress?”
“No,” Emma said, usually her default response to any question.
“ Maybe this one, too,” Casey said.
“Mum mum.”
“We can dress you up all
“Casey!”
He finally got her attention. “What?” she said.
“For the love of Mike, woman, the girls are fine. Don’t you trust me?”
Her heart still hammered, double-time, inside her chest . “I trusted Danny,” she said. “And look how that turned out.”
He muttered an expletive, drew her closer, and folded her in his arms. She rested her head against his shoulder. And let out a hard breath.
“You’re shaking,” he said.
“Just hold me. Just shut up and hold me.”
For a time, they were both silent as her breathing gradually slowed, smoothed, until it matched his. He picked up her hand, kissed the knuckles. Said, “Why were you crying?”
“Nothing . I—I don’t really know. It just hit me, and—you’re sure they’re all right?”
Tenderly stroking the hair at her temple, he said, “ One hundred percent sure. Do you think I’d let anything happen to Emma?”
She took a breath, wet her lips . Said, “I’m not being rational, am I?”
“Truthfully ? Not really.”
“Oh, God. ” She drew a sharp, ragged breath. “What is wrong with me?”
“Maybe I should take you home. Cut this thing short for the day, and pick back up tomorrow.”
“No. ” She sat up straight, smoothed her hair, pulled her dignity around her like a suit of armor. “You have a job to do, you have studio time booked, and I’m being ridiculous. I just—I want my little girl, that’s all. I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go.”
He took her hand in his and gently rubbed her knuckles . “The girls are due back anytime. How’d it go with the doctor?”
“It went.”
“Everything okay?”
“I’m fine . Nicely healed. Fully cleared for playtime activities.”
He waggled his eyebrows . “Good to know. So, did you have the Big Talk?”
She looked at him blankly, and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear . “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. The birth control talk. What did she have to say about that?”
“Exactly what you’d expect her to say . Don’t even try for at least six months. Decide on a birth control method that’s workable. Don’t take too much time deciding, and be damn careful in the meantime.”
His eyes narrowed . So did his mouth. “She didn’t put you on anything?”
“I told her I had to think about it.”
“Is that a good idea? Jesus, babe, we don’t need any accidents.”
She sat silent, tight-lipped and stiff . “Or,” he said, “maybe you’re hoping for an accident.”
“The clock is ticking , Flash. I’m almost thirty-eight years old. I don’t have that much time left.”
He leaned his head back and, staring at the ceiling, let out a pained sigh. “Did you talk about this obsession you have with getting pregnant again?”
“It’s not an obsession, and I resent you calling it that.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s how it looks from my side of the bed.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I don’t want you to say anything. I also don’t want you to die. Because facing life without you beside me? Not a place I’m interested in visiting.”
* * *
On the way back to the apartment, with Emma safely tucked into her stroller, Casey stopped at Oh, Baby! again. Determined to not make an ass of herself this time, she avoided the newborn department, instead marching directly to the 18-month-size clothing for girls. She thumbed through racks of dresses, with their ruffles and lace and girly, flowery prints. “Look, Emma,” she said, holding up a pretty little aqua-colored number with loads of ruffles and a big, puffy bow on the bodice. “You’d look beautiful in this, don’t you think?”
“Gah,” Emma said.
“That’s what I thought, too,” Casey said. “Do you want Mama to buy you this pretty dress?”
“No,” Emma said, usually her default response to any question.
“ Maybe this one, too,” Casey said.
“Mum mum.”
“We can dress you up all
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