The Measure of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 6) by Ichabod Temperance Page B

named Mounts Tormentia, Agonia, and Miseriaiaia. The Eastern range is fully made up of jumbled rocks. These impassable piles amount to mountains in their own right. That is of course, except for the Queen.”
    “Oh, I say! Royalty! How very good. That then shall be our destination. I merely need to speak with your head of state and I am sure I can sort out this whole sordid affair, eh hem?”
    “She is not that kind of Queen, Mademoiselle, ha, ha, ha!”
    “Ha, ha, ha!”
    “Pray, enlighten me.”
    “She is our Queen Tempestia! Our volcano! This is a volcanic isle, Mademoiselle. It was our Queen Tempestia that formed this island. San Monique’s Eastern goat horn extends from her northern flank.”
    “I say, old chap, are there many villages on this side of the island?”
    “No, Monsieur grande handsome face, not many, but there are two of some note. The first is the very old city of Le Seggheweighe. It is a happy town, oui?”
    “Oui!”
    “Oh, jolly good, and you may call me Kit, old bean.”
    “Oh! Merci, Kit OldBean!”
    “Merci, Kit OldBean!”
    “Ha, ha! Jolly good! Well then, about this other city that you deem worthy of our knowledge?”
    “Ho, ho! That would be San Monique’s one true seaport, Monsieur Kit OldBean, São Cochon.”
    “Is it as happy a place as São Vinaigrette is, and La Seggheweighe purported?”
    “São Cochon a happy place? Ah-hahahahahaha!”
    “Ah-hahahahahaha!”
    “No no, Monsieur, there is no happiness in the port of São Cochon, or ‘Cockaroach’, if you will. The port is only used by Sku Le’Bizarre. He has a ship that is manned by semi-zombies. They are alive, but enthralled in a VooDoo spell by the mystique, Sku Le’Bizarre. His zombie hordes of the dead work the docks and transport involved with rum logistics.”
    “Aye, so where is our loovely Sku Le’Bizzarre residing?”
    “He lives in a plantation house, mon. This is in the nook of the goat head horns at the northern central plain of the island. This house is in the middle of a sugar cane field. His zombie walkers run his rum factory, churning out a fortune in brown liqueur with little to nothing in manufacturing costs.”
    “Jolly good, old chap, how very valuable this information is to our plans, I cannot say. Now, if you could just see to directing us on our way to this fellow’s house, we would be eternally grateful, old sport.”
    “There is no way there, mon, which is very good I think, ho, ho, ho!”
    “Ho, ho, ho!”
    “If there is no way from the central northern plain to this side of the island, then how does Sku Le’Bizarre travel from his plantation house on the plain, to the seaside port on the other side of the mountains? Is this not where the rum is manufactured? How is it transported, Monsieur Jean-Trevour?”
    “Through a cave, Monsieur Kit Oldbean, the ‘Craven Cavern’ , That cave runs the entire width of the mountain range underneath Mount Miseriaiaia. This cave is said to be many miles in length. Part of the cave is naturally formed, and part is said to be enhanced by Sku Le’Bizarre’s zombie slaves for easier movement of product, but as no-one living ever goes inside, we are unsure of its details.”
    “Any chance of our being able to dash through, while there are no cannibal corpses about, eh, hem?”
    “Hee, hee, I do not think so, Monsieur! There are always lots of the restless cadavers around, don’t you know, mon.”
    “I say, would a seaside assault be in order? An amphiboid landfall, so to speak. Since the mountains are impassable, then perhaps we may get to this isolated location by coming ashore in the wide Cape formed between this island’s goat horn-like projections.”
    “I do not think so, Mademoiselle, for the jagged rocks of that cove are a ship and boat graveyard. Any craft would be dashed to pieces long before getting close to land. Hee, hee, hee!”
    “Hee, hee, hee!”
    “Plus all the sharks, Mademoiselle! Sharks, sharks, sharks!”
    “Sharks,