The Measure of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 6) by Ichabod Temperance Page A

under his control, even in his absence. We know too, that he has just recently returned.”
    “Jolly good, for you see my good fellow, this particular resident of some infamy to which you refer is exactly the chap we are here to see. I am quite certain of it. We wish to speak with, a Monsieur Sku Le’Bizarre.”
    “Ah-hahahahahaha!”
    “Ah-hahahahahaha!”
    “Ha, ha! That is a very funny thing to say, monsieur! I think you make a mistake my handsome, black-haired, white-man, friend. That is, unless you wish to be eaten by that awful man, ha, ha, ha!”
    “Ha, ha, ha!”
    “Or devoured by his legions of walking corpses, ho, ho, ho!”
    “Ho, ho, ho!”
    “Or to be turned to one of these cannibal zombies, hee, hee, hee!”
    “Hee, hee, hee!”
    “I say, my word, eh, hem, I assure you, none of those options are among our desired intent, rather, we are committed to freeing our friends from this fiend’s malicious grip and to thwart what I believe to be a disastrous plot with planetary implications. The fulfillment of this evil mystic’s machinations menace all Mankind.”
    “This terrible man has been absent from our island for many months. Life has been relatively serene here in his absence, but now Sku Le’Bizarre has returned to San Monique! If you are here to confront the monster that lives in man form, then I wish you good luck, Mademoiselle! You’re going to need it! Oui!
    “Oui!”
    “Howdy, y’all, my name’s Ichabod.”
    “Bonjour, Ichabod!”
    “Woah, uh, thanks, you all. Say, we ain’t too familiar with y’all’s little tropical paradise down here. Could you clue us in on a few geographic details?”
    “Oui, of course, Monsieur Ixxi-o-bod. I will brush a place here in the sandy dirt clear and flat. With this stick I will draw a hasty map for you. I will start here at the southern coast. This blunt point extends northward in diagonal lines both East and West. They then both cut sharply back inward. This gives the basic shape of our island’s mainland, that is, thin at the bottom and wide at the top but with a slight, inland dip gently sweeping across the Northern coast. It is here, at the North end of San Monique, that we have a most curious aspect to this island’s geography, oui? Two strangely symmetrical, bare rock archipelagos extend up and out to the East and West, ending in rocky points.”
    “Oh, wring me knickers, would’ja looks at dat?! The narrow bottom looks loike the snout of an animal. The way it stretches out woide at the tops confirms the impression of a loivestock creature. Adding in the out-turned extensions on top is wot foinally grants this ’orrible oisland its distinctly disturbing shape. The out-croppin’s appear as two great hornnes stickin’s out, makin’s the shape of the oisland to be in the uncanny formation of a goat’s head! Oh, that creeps me so that I feel as if the entire Coldstream Guard just marched ovuh me grave!”
    “Oh yeah, you’re right about that, Carnivalle dress lady! Ah-hahahahahaha!”
    “Ah-hahahahahahaha!”
    “The shape of this island is pretty creepy, ha, ha, ha!”
    “Ha, ha, ha!”
    “Where on the island does this ol’ Sku Le’Bizarre live?”
    “Thankfully, not on this side, ho, ho, ho!”
    “Ho, ho, ho!”
    “How’s about showin’ us on this here goats head lookin’ map you’ve drawn in the dirt, Jean-Trevour, sir?”
    “Oui, of course, Ixxi-o-bod. Our little village is here, on the south-west coast, or goat’s jowl, if you will, hee, hee, hee!”
    “Hee, hee, hee!”
    “A towering mountain range dominates the geography anywhere you go on the island. This range begins with the awe-inspiring vision of Lady De’athspelle, for it is her legendary features you see jutting from the mountain peak above our heads. The mountains extend northward in two ranges, each to eventually end in the horns at the top of our island goat head. The Western range is sharply ridged with jagged peaks. The most prominent of these are