The Man who Missed the War

The Man who Missed the War by Dennis Wheatley

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Authors: Dennis Wheatley
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sporting! You never hit an enemy from behind.’ Suddenly he whipped round with a big automatic clutched firmly in his hand.
    Pointing it at Philip he went on: ‘You young fool! What impertinence even to think of crossing swords with me! You are scheduled to die in a few days’ time, at the first sign of even moderately rough weather. All you have succeeded in doing is to advance the hour of your extermination. I propose to kill you here and now!’
    Philip paled under the threat. He had half feared that when Eiderman had moved over to the dressing-table it had been to get a weapon, yet somehow he had not been able to bring himself to strike the German down while his back was turned. Now it looked as if he were about to pay for his quixotry with his life.
    ‘You—you’d better be careful,’ he stammered. ‘If you let that thing off one of the sailors will hear it and—and come rushing along to find out what’s happened.’
    At that moment a roll of thunder sounded and the rain came sheeting down on the deck above. Eiderman bared his white teeth in a mirthless grin. ‘Listen to that,’ he snarled, jerking his head slightly towards the cabin ceiling. ‘Even God is now fed up with protecting so stupid a people as the British and when we need it sends us Germans the weather that suits us best. The crew will keep to their quarters while it rains like this, and no one upon the bridge could hear a shot fired down here.’
    ‘Even if they don’t Sorensen will want to know what’s happened to me,’ Philip burst out. ‘If you kill me you’ll swing for it—I mean, go to the electric chair.’
    ‘You are wrong! I am no novice at removing unwanted meddlers from my path. Many times I have had to do so in theinterests of my beloved Fuehrer, and you, I think, have already provided me with a good explanation for your own death.’
    ‘What the hell d’you mean?’
    ‘You have told Captain Sorensen about your appendix, have you not? You have pretended suddenly to be very ill tonight as an excuse to get back to New York. Very well. How can we be certain that the appendix is the cause of the trouble? It might be peritonitis or a haemorrhage—something which would flare up suddenly, causing you to collapse here in my cabin in about one minute’s time. Actually the cause will be a bullet through the stomach. But no one except Auffen and myself will know that. I shall partially undress you, plug the wound to stop it bleeding, cover up the bullet hole in your clothes, lay your body on my bunk and respectfully cover it with a sheet.’
    Philip stared at the tall thin man. The palms of his hands were damp, but he felt an entirely detached fascination in listening to this callous account of what was to be done with his dead body. Almost automatically he began to argue.
    ‘You seem to have forgotten that in cases of sudden death like that there’s always a post-mortem.’
    Eiderman laughed. ‘You young fool! There is no doctor in this ship and we are now outside United States territorial waters. After Sorensen has had a look at your face, and felt your pulse and heart if he wishes, I shall bring Hans Auffen here to sew you up in a piece of canvas. Then tomorrow morning, instead of your going off with your rafts, you will be buried at sea.’
    ‘Sorensen may not agree to that,’ cried Philip, desperate now that he saw the trap he had helped to fashion closing so surely about him.
    ‘He
will
agree!’ The German’s thin mouth became a sneering line. ‘He would not turn back to New York without an order from me, would he? That old Norwegian fool at least has the sense to know who is the master here. He will do what I tell him!’
    Stepping forward a pace and thrusting out both his chin and his pistol, Eiderman became even more threatening as he went on: ‘Before you die, little Englishman, it is good that you should understand that soon there will be only two kinds of people in this world—Masters and Slaves. We Germans,

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