The Male Brain
surprised by how much they want to hold and play with their babies. The making of a daddy brain requires not only hormones and paternal brain circuits but also physical touch. At Princeton University, researchers compared dads and non-dads in our primate cousins the marmosets. Marmoset dads are probably the most involved fathers on the planet, holding their newborns more than fifteen hours a day, every day, for the first month . Carrying the infants for so many hours each day aligns the dads' brains with their offspring. The researchers found that the area of the marmoset dads' brains for thinking and predicting consequences, the prefrontal cortex (PFC), showed more cells and connections than in the non-dads. This brain area has receptors for the so-called fathering hormones: prolactin, oxytocin, and vasopressin . These scientists concluded that the experience of being a hands-on father dramatically increases the number of connections in the male brain for paternal behavior. Brain-scan studies show that contact between parent and child also activates the PFC in humans. So even though moms' brains may be on higher alert from day one, it's now clear that dads' brains can quickly catch up. Tim didn't need a brain scan to tell him what he already knew--that the same brain that used to be glued to Sunday football was now completely absorbed with Blake.
    Because Tim had been involved from the day Blake was born, his daddy brain circuits were now running like a well-oiled machine. Even though Blake couldn't talk, he and Tim had been establishing an understanding and getting to know each other. Researchers' technical word for this parent-child understanding is synchrony . Synchrony is like an extended series of volleys in a tennis match. Some examples are tickling, eye contact, laughter, and teasing. This back-and-forth interaction in games like peekaboo is critical for developing parental behavior, according to studies by Dr. Ruth Feldman . Many fathers who don't have daily hands-on contact may fail to form the strong daddy brain circuits required for parent-child synchrony. The environment for eventually establishing such a close interaction may start before birth. During the last months of my pregnancy, my son's father would play a tapping game with him. His dad would tap tap tap on my belly, and he'd tap tap tap back--kicking seemingly with the same rhythm. The father-son relationship had begun.

DADDY AND MOMMY ARE DIFFERENT
    Soon after birth, a baby can tell the difference between Mommy and Daddy . Within weeks of being born, Blake could see and smell the difference between Michelle and Tim, and he could hear and feel the differences too. Daddy had a deeper voice. Mommy had softer hands and talked as if she were singing. Even in the dark of night, Blake knew which parent was bending over his crib to take care of him. But Tim confessed that he couldn't help feeling a little jealous that Blake often seemed to want his mom more--and Michelle seemed to sometimes prefer Blake to Tim, too. As Tim was discovering, for fathers, early on, it's hard to match the biological force of the love bond between Mommy and baby. The baby is initially more bonded with the parent who has the yummy milk-filled breasts, and the intense pleasurable sensations of breast-feeding reinforce the mother's bond with her baby .
    Scientists believe that the emotion and communication centers in the baby's brain learn to relate differently to Mom and Dad . This doesn't become obvious to the parents until the baby is about three months old and begins spending less time sleeping and more time interacting. At this age, Dad begins to play a starring role in baby's life. By the time Blake was six months old, he loved the stimulating games Tim played with him . When Tim kissed Blake's belly and blew loudly against his skin, tickling him, they were in their own private world.

ALONE TIME WITH DAD
    Research shows that dads behave differently with their babies not only

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