before others at work and at home. I suppose that’s why so many of you are here today, because this man touched your heart in some way. But there was a side many of you didn’t see—that of a father, a husband, a family man. That’s what I’ll be talking about today.
“My father didn’t have an easy life. He was born in 1946 and was the oldest of three brothers. Their father abandoned them leaving their mother to pick up the pieces and do what she could. The house wasn’t paid for, and she only had a high school diploma. Samuel, the youngest brother, died when he was just eight.
“I never knew my grandfather. My grandmother was a bitter woman, a hard woman, yet compassionate. She had had a hard life so it was no wonder she was the way she was. My father started working at a young age, as a stock boy if memory serves.” Gregory paused a moment and bit his lower lip, eyes distant. “The name of the store escapes me at the moment, but I know the owners name was in it.” A smile came to his lips. “The reason I mention this is because many of you know how tight my father was with money.” A wave of chuckles moved through the room, people nodding in agreement. “He made a dollar an hour, and he worked every day after school and on weekends to help the family. He told me once that he would have liked to have gone out for some sports, spent more time with his friends, but he felt a responsibility.”
Gregory’s steely gaze focused on Willem. “He had to become an adult far earlier than any teenager should have to, but he did it so the burden was not his mother’s alone. He gave up his childhood so that they could stay in their home.” His nephew’s eyes bore into his, and he felt ashamed. “It killed him not to be the big brother he wanted to be, but it was a sacrifice that he felt needed to be made.” And then his eyes drifted away across the crowd.
Willem couldn’t help but feel terrible. He’d distanced himself from his mother and his brother when all they were doing was trying to allow him to have a normal childhood, and he blew it by being a selfish idiot.
“What he learned those years—about working hard and saving, to not live lavishly—was how he lived his life. He managed to put himself through school, he worked exceptionally hard, and became successful. By his example my sister and I both got jobs while in high school. While he didn’t force us he definitely encouraged it because he felt it was an experience one had to learn to appreciate what you had, not what you wanted. If we wanted something that wasn’t a necessity we had to work for it, earn the money to buy it, to appreciate it. It was a hard lesson, a shitty lesson…” Those chuckles again. “But we are better people because of it.
“Not many people know this but he also served in Vietnam. He was drafted when he was nineteen and deployed at twenty. He served his country for four years until he was honorably discharged. He didn’t agree with the war, he felt it a lost cause, but he also felt it his duty as an American. I never talked to him much about what his experiences were. I tried, but when I did he always managed to change the subject. Another skill I’m sure some of you have experienced.” People laughed this time—a good sound.
“Now, how he met my mother is a story I’ve always liked.” Willem glanced at Beth and only saw the back of her head, yet he sensed she was smiling at the memory. “As I understand it, my mother was out for a walk downtown when she came across a bird. She sees this little goldfinch on the sidewalk—people walking by ignoring it—and she knew something was wrong. Although the bird tried to get away she managed to pick it up. It then occurred to her she had no idea what to do with it. So she has this tiny little bird cupped in her hands, and my father stopped to see what was wrong. She showed him, and when most people would have thought this lady nuts for picking up a dirty bird, he
“My father didn’t have an easy life. He was born in 1946 and was the oldest of three brothers. Their father abandoned them leaving their mother to pick up the pieces and do what she could. The house wasn’t paid for, and she only had a high school diploma. Samuel, the youngest brother, died when he was just eight.
“I never knew my grandfather. My grandmother was a bitter woman, a hard woman, yet compassionate. She had had a hard life so it was no wonder she was the way she was. My father started working at a young age, as a stock boy if memory serves.” Gregory paused a moment and bit his lower lip, eyes distant. “The name of the store escapes me at the moment, but I know the owners name was in it.” A smile came to his lips. “The reason I mention this is because many of you know how tight my father was with money.” A wave of chuckles moved through the room, people nodding in agreement. “He made a dollar an hour, and he worked every day after school and on weekends to help the family. He told me once that he would have liked to have gone out for some sports, spent more time with his friends, but he felt a responsibility.”
Gregory’s steely gaze focused on Willem. “He had to become an adult far earlier than any teenager should have to, but he did it so the burden was not his mother’s alone. He gave up his childhood so that they could stay in their home.” His nephew’s eyes bore into his, and he felt ashamed. “It killed him not to be the big brother he wanted to be, but it was a sacrifice that he felt needed to be made.” And then his eyes drifted away across the crowd.
Willem couldn’t help but feel terrible. He’d distanced himself from his mother and his brother when all they were doing was trying to allow him to have a normal childhood, and he blew it by being a selfish idiot.
“What he learned those years—about working hard and saving, to not live lavishly—was how he lived his life. He managed to put himself through school, he worked exceptionally hard, and became successful. By his example my sister and I both got jobs while in high school. While he didn’t force us he definitely encouraged it because he felt it was an experience one had to learn to appreciate what you had, not what you wanted. If we wanted something that wasn’t a necessity we had to work for it, earn the money to buy it, to appreciate it. It was a hard lesson, a shitty lesson…” Those chuckles again. “But we are better people because of it.
“Not many people know this but he also served in Vietnam. He was drafted when he was nineteen and deployed at twenty. He served his country for four years until he was honorably discharged. He didn’t agree with the war, he felt it a lost cause, but he also felt it his duty as an American. I never talked to him much about what his experiences were. I tried, but when I did he always managed to change the subject. Another skill I’m sure some of you have experienced.” People laughed this time—a good sound.
“Now, how he met my mother is a story I’ve always liked.” Willem glanced at Beth and only saw the back of her head, yet he sensed she was smiling at the memory. “As I understand it, my mother was out for a walk downtown when she came across a bird. She sees this little goldfinch on the sidewalk—people walking by ignoring it—and she knew something was wrong. Although the bird tried to get away she managed to pick it up. It then occurred to her she had no idea what to do with it. So she has this tiny little bird cupped in her hands, and my father stopped to see what was wrong. She showed him, and when most people would have thought this lady nuts for picking up a dirty bird, he
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