HEART K.M. Mahoney 69
Grady shrugged. He finally found his voice, although the heat in his cheeks still lingered. “If he’s gonna live here, I figured I should try and learn at least a little.”
“You know Josh doesn’t expect you to,” Isaiah pointed out. “He doesn’t mind writing things out. In fact, I sometimes think he prefers it. It’s easier for him to get out exactly what he wants to say.”
“He shouldn’t have to. He’s family and I don’t want him to ever think differently. He needs to know that he fits.”
Isaiah sat back, surprise on his face. “Family? Grady, we’re just a couple of guys you took in. You don’t have to—”
“You’re family,” Grady cut in irritably. “You live here, you work here, hell, I’ve known you for damn near a decade.” Grady stood, scowling fiercely. “You’re family. Both of you.
And if I have to bust my ass to learn this stuff, I’ll do it, because Josh should never feel like an outsider, or like he doesn’t belong.”
“Is this what you’ve been hiding?” Isaiah asked, rising to his feet. They stood toe to toe, identical fierce expressions boring into each other. “Why the hell didn’t you just tell me? Or even more, ask for my help?”
Grady looked away, really not wanting to answer that question.
“Grady!” Isaiah shouted.
“Shut up,” Grady whispered vehemently. “You’ll wake Josh.”
“Right now, I don’t give a damn. You say we’re family, but that goes both ways, you know? You have to let us in sometimes. Don’t you think Josh would love to help you with this? That I would?”
“You just don’t understand.”
“No, I don’t. So help me to.”
“I can’t.” The admission sunk into his gut and settled there, making bile rise in his stomach. If Isaiah ever found out… Grady was used to the looks from people. He could handle the mixture of disgust and pity and the name-calling. But not from Isaiah. Never from Isaiah.
He couldn’t deal with this anymore. Ignoring Isaiah’s calls, Grady turned and stalked off, growly and frustrated and…hurt. Isaiah should know better by now. His guys were all he had. His guys and now Josh. Grady knew what it felt like, to always be on the outside www.total-e-bound.com
THE LONELY HEART K.M. Mahoney 70
watching a world where you didn’t fit, no matter how much you longed to. And he would go toss himself off Pearson’s Cliff before he ever let Josh feel like that.
He snagged his coat and slammed out of the house to lick his wounds, conscious of Isaiah’s penetrating stare boring into his back the entire way. It was a relief to make it to the porch and out of sight.
As he always did when he was upset, Grady headed for the barn. He made straight for the stall on the end, letting himself in. Dixon ignored his entrance, shifting his weight on three legs and chewing idly on a mouthful of hay. Grady braced his back against the wooden wall near the door, sliding down until he sat in the newly cleaned woodchips. He braced his arms on his upright knees, tilted his head back, and stared with blank eyes at the rafters above.
He’d screwed up. Again. Damn it. That seemed to be the story of his life. Open-mouth-insert-foot Grady—that was him.
He closed his eyes, letting the soothing sounds of Dixon nearby ease him. He kept trying and trying. And it never made a difference. Hell, most of the time, no one even noticed his efforts. If they did, they chalked it up to some weirdness on his part.
Ever since Grady took over the Branch from his father, he’d been attempting, in his own way, to turn the men here into the family he’d never had. He wanted to fit, so desperately.
But it seemed like he could never get past the whole ‘boss-employee’ divide.
It was probably about time for him to accept that he never would. Grady had hoped, with Isaiah and Josh staying with him, that things could be different. That he could finally get close to the man that he had lusted after from afar
Grady shrugged. He finally found his voice, although the heat in his cheeks still lingered. “If he’s gonna live here, I figured I should try and learn at least a little.”
“You know Josh doesn’t expect you to,” Isaiah pointed out. “He doesn’t mind writing things out. In fact, I sometimes think he prefers it. It’s easier for him to get out exactly what he wants to say.”
“He shouldn’t have to. He’s family and I don’t want him to ever think differently. He needs to know that he fits.”
Isaiah sat back, surprise on his face. “Family? Grady, we’re just a couple of guys you took in. You don’t have to—”
“You’re family,” Grady cut in irritably. “You live here, you work here, hell, I’ve known you for damn near a decade.” Grady stood, scowling fiercely. “You’re family. Both of you.
And if I have to bust my ass to learn this stuff, I’ll do it, because Josh should never feel like an outsider, or like he doesn’t belong.”
“Is this what you’ve been hiding?” Isaiah asked, rising to his feet. They stood toe to toe, identical fierce expressions boring into each other. “Why the hell didn’t you just tell me? Or even more, ask for my help?”
Grady looked away, really not wanting to answer that question.
“Grady!” Isaiah shouted.
“Shut up,” Grady whispered vehemently. “You’ll wake Josh.”
“Right now, I don’t give a damn. You say we’re family, but that goes both ways, you know? You have to let us in sometimes. Don’t you think Josh would love to help you with this? That I would?”
“You just don’t understand.”
“No, I don’t. So help me to.”
“I can’t.” The admission sunk into his gut and settled there, making bile rise in his stomach. If Isaiah ever found out… Grady was used to the looks from people. He could handle the mixture of disgust and pity and the name-calling. But not from Isaiah. Never from Isaiah.
He couldn’t deal with this anymore. Ignoring Isaiah’s calls, Grady turned and stalked off, growly and frustrated and…hurt. Isaiah should know better by now. His guys were all he had. His guys and now Josh. Grady knew what it felt like, to always be on the outside www.total-e-bound.com
THE LONELY HEART K.M. Mahoney 70
watching a world where you didn’t fit, no matter how much you longed to. And he would go toss himself off Pearson’s Cliff before he ever let Josh feel like that.
He snagged his coat and slammed out of the house to lick his wounds, conscious of Isaiah’s penetrating stare boring into his back the entire way. It was a relief to make it to the porch and out of sight.
As he always did when he was upset, Grady headed for the barn. He made straight for the stall on the end, letting himself in. Dixon ignored his entrance, shifting his weight on three legs and chewing idly on a mouthful of hay. Grady braced his back against the wooden wall near the door, sliding down until he sat in the newly cleaned woodchips. He braced his arms on his upright knees, tilted his head back, and stared with blank eyes at the rafters above.
He’d screwed up. Again. Damn it. That seemed to be the story of his life. Open-mouth-insert-foot Grady—that was him.
He closed his eyes, letting the soothing sounds of Dixon nearby ease him. He kept trying and trying. And it never made a difference. Hell, most of the time, no one even noticed his efforts. If they did, they chalked it up to some weirdness on his part.
Ever since Grady took over the Branch from his father, he’d been attempting, in his own way, to turn the men here into the family he’d never had. He wanted to fit, so desperately.
But it seemed like he could never get past the whole ‘boss-employee’ divide.
It was probably about time for him to accept that he never would. Grady had hoped, with Isaiah and Josh staying with him, that things could be different. That he could finally get close to the man that he had lusted after from afar
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