2003
Campus was deserted.
All the underclassmen had gone home for the summer, leaving only the few seniors who lived on campus. Mom wouldn’t be coming in until the next day for graduation, and I’d finished my final work study shift at the library.
Finished.
Tomorrow, I’d be a college graduate. I felt a pang of nostalgia as I walked toward the dorm where my friend Kevin lived. There was something particularly collegiate-looking about this part of campus, and every time I’d walked through here, I’d felt it like an epiphany. I’m in college. Today I felt it like a punch. This was the last time I’d walk over to Kevin’s dorm.
Kevin. He was going to grad school in New York— so he could work part time for his dad and learn the business. We’d talked a bit about me going too, living together in the city. I’d been accepted at Columbia, but I couldn’t afford it, so I was staying in Massachusetts to get my MBA. I was going to miss him something fierce.
I trudged up the steps to his room on the third floor, finding the door wide open and Kevin sprawled on his couch, staring at the boxes stacked by the door. I knocked and he looked up.
For a moment, he looked like a runaway puppy that just discovered he’d lost his owner. Then he smiled and all was right in my world. I missed him already. He was right in front of me, smile shining like a lighthouse, and I missed him already.
“Dad got me a new cellphone for graduation.” He stood up and thrust a piece of paper into my hand. “There’s the number. Don’t you dare lose it, okay?”
The vehemence in his voice startled me. “I won’t.” I shoved the paper into my pocket and kicked the door closed behind me. “Wanna order a pizza? One last time?”
He laughed, then shook his head. “I can’t believe it. It seems like yesterday— I mean, we really made it.”
“Yeah we did.” I grinned at him as he flopped down on the sofa. I moved across the room to the beds. The top bunk had been stripped down, but Kev’s bed still had navy blue sheets on it. I sat down, kicking off my shoes. “So, that’s a no on the pizza?”
“I ate my last three packs of Top Ramen for lunch so I’m not hungry yet, but maybe later. Sorry I already packed up the TV, or we could play video games.”
I shrugged. “S’okay. Want to go out?”
He shook his head. “Why am I sad, Nick?” He looked up at me. “We’re graduating and I’m supposed to be so happy, but mostly I just feel empty inside.”
Ah, shit. I held out my arms, and he moved into them. Some of the other guys on the team would be assholes about it if they saw us hugging like this, call us faggots or whatever. We were both out to the team, but it didn’t make the teasing any easier to take. As of tomorrow, we weren’t on the team anymore, and if I wanted to hug my best friend then I would, and they could all be damned.
Playing soccer in college would have been hell without him. The day I came out to the team, he stood up and told them he was gay too. And from that day on, we were tighter than brothers. He had my back; I had his.
“Are you worried about moving back to New York?” I asked, squeezing him a little tighter before letting him go.
He stretched out on the bed in front of me and shrugged. “It would be easier if I weren’t moving in with my folks.”
“Yeah.” I met his parents freshman year, and still felt like I’d walked into a freezer every time I thought of them.
He rolled onto his side and tugged me down with him. “I’m going to miss you, you know? But maybe I can come out and see you sometimes.”
I nodded, afraid to meet his eyes, afraid he’d see my feelings for him and laugh at my crush. “Definitely.”
“Hey, Nick. Will you look at me?”
I let my eyes travel up the front of his T-shirt to rest on his face. My face flushed with embarrassment, and I started to look away, but stopped when he cupped my chin in his hand.
“What are—?”
When his lips touched
Campus was deserted.
All the underclassmen had gone home for the summer, leaving only the few seniors who lived on campus. Mom wouldn’t be coming in until the next day for graduation, and I’d finished my final work study shift at the library.
Finished.
Tomorrow, I’d be a college graduate. I felt a pang of nostalgia as I walked toward the dorm where my friend Kevin lived. There was something particularly collegiate-looking about this part of campus, and every time I’d walked through here, I’d felt it like an epiphany. I’m in college. Today I felt it like a punch. This was the last time I’d walk over to Kevin’s dorm.
Kevin. He was going to grad school in New York— so he could work part time for his dad and learn the business. We’d talked a bit about me going too, living together in the city. I’d been accepted at Columbia, but I couldn’t afford it, so I was staying in Massachusetts to get my MBA. I was going to miss him something fierce.
I trudged up the steps to his room on the third floor, finding the door wide open and Kevin sprawled on his couch, staring at the boxes stacked by the door. I knocked and he looked up.
For a moment, he looked like a runaway puppy that just discovered he’d lost his owner. Then he smiled and all was right in my world. I missed him already. He was right in front of me, smile shining like a lighthouse, and I missed him already.
“Dad got me a new cellphone for graduation.” He stood up and thrust a piece of paper into my hand. “There’s the number. Don’t you dare lose it, okay?”
The vehemence in his voice startled me. “I won’t.” I shoved the paper into my pocket and kicked the door closed behind me. “Wanna order a pizza? One last time?”
He laughed, then shook his head. “I can’t believe it. It seems like yesterday— I mean, we really made it.”
“Yeah we did.” I grinned at him as he flopped down on the sofa. I moved across the room to the beds. The top bunk had been stripped down, but Kev’s bed still had navy blue sheets on it. I sat down, kicking off my shoes. “So, that’s a no on the pizza?”
“I ate my last three packs of Top Ramen for lunch so I’m not hungry yet, but maybe later. Sorry I already packed up the TV, or we could play video games.”
I shrugged. “S’okay. Want to go out?”
He shook his head. “Why am I sad, Nick?” He looked up at me. “We’re graduating and I’m supposed to be so happy, but mostly I just feel empty inside.”
Ah, shit. I held out my arms, and he moved into them. Some of the other guys on the team would be assholes about it if they saw us hugging like this, call us faggots or whatever. We were both out to the team, but it didn’t make the teasing any easier to take. As of tomorrow, we weren’t on the team anymore, and if I wanted to hug my best friend then I would, and they could all be damned.
Playing soccer in college would have been hell without him. The day I came out to the team, he stood up and told them he was gay too. And from that day on, we were tighter than brothers. He had my back; I had his.
“Are you worried about moving back to New York?” I asked, squeezing him a little tighter before letting him go.
He stretched out on the bed in front of me and shrugged. “It would be easier if I weren’t moving in with my folks.”
“Yeah.” I met his parents freshman year, and still felt like I’d walked into a freezer every time I thought of them.
He rolled onto his side and tugged me down with him. “I’m going to miss you, you know? But maybe I can come out and see you sometimes.”
I nodded, afraid to meet his eyes, afraid he’d see my feelings for him and laugh at my crush. “Definitely.”
“Hey, Nick. Will you look at me?”
I let my eyes travel up the front of his T-shirt to rest on his face. My face flushed with embarrassment, and I started to look away, but stopped when he cupped my chin in his hand.
“What are—?”
When his lips touched
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