The Locker Room by Amy Lane

after Andi and Jed had taken them to
    dinner at probably the nicest restaurant Xander had ever been to outside
    a booster dinner at the school, they were all getting ready to go to bed,
    and Andi and Jed had looked at each other meaningfully.
    Jed gave his son a one-armed hug and said, “Good night, boys.
    You may want to let Penny sleep on the couch, okay?” before
    disappearing into the bedroom.
    Andi stayed out for another moment, and looked at them with
    bright eyes. She was still a pretty woman, with curling blonde hair,
    although Xander had noticed that more of the blonde had come from a
    bottle than it had seven years earlier, and the fine lines around her eyes
    had grown deeper and (from Xander"s point of view) kinder and wiser.
    She didn"t kiss Chris right away. She stood on her tiptoes and
    pulled Xander (a full six foot nine by now) down so she could kiss his
    temple and whisper in his ear, “You will always be part of our family,
    sweetheart.” When she was done, she gave Chris a long hug and then
    disappeared into the bedroom with her husband.
    Chris and Xander weren"t anywhere near tired. They asked Penny
    if she wanted to stay up and play video games or Trivial Pursuit or
    something, and she looked at them levelly and said, “How about I tell
    you guys a story?”
    66
    Amy Lane

    Chris and Xander looked at each other, and Penny took the stuffed
    chair and gestured at them grandly to ensconce themselves on the couch.
    They sat, and Xander realized with a start that Penny was beginning her
    first year of college. He wondered hopefully if there was anyone she"d
    write to as she left, or anyone she"d miss. Maybe Penny would spend her
    college days in that passion/drama/romance play that Xander had seen
    most of the other guys partaking of during their time at Chapel Hill, and
    in a way he wished that for her. He"d loved having Chris as his anchor,
    and wouldn"t have traded that security or that kindness for a thing on the
    planet, but Penny was braver than he was. Penny had tried band, and
    drama, and soccer, and academic decathlon. She"d run for student body
    offices, taken guitar lessons on her own, and worked at Jamba Juice, the
    book store, and Starbucks. Penny, he thought, looking at Chris"s dark
    eyes in a sweet, mischievous female face, was meant for great
    adventures in the wide world. Xander was fully aware that his heart
    would not survive his adventures unless the other half of it were beating
    in time.
    “See, here"s the story,” Penny said now, after an almost nervous
    pause. “Once upon a time there was a little girl named Penny, who had a
    horrible crush on her brother"s best friend.”
    “Aww, Penny, really?” Chris groaned, trying to keep things light.
    “She thought it was true love, Christian, you bastard, so shut the
    hell up and listen, okay?”
    Christian rolled his eyes at Xander, but Xander couldn"t laugh
    back. Unlike Chris, who didn"t seem to know where this was going,
    Xander had a congealed, belated fear in his stomach, a terrible adrenaline
    rush, as though he"d been caught doing something bad, and the
    consequences were worse than he had ever imagined.
    “We"re listening,” he said quietly, and he resisted the temptation to
    take Chris"s hand. There was another quiet, one they could hear the
    ocean in, and Xander realized he loved that sound. God, wouldn"t it be
    wonderful to live near the ocean for the rest of his life?
    Penny reached out and patted his knee. Xander was leaning
    forward, his outsized body trying not to spangle over the couch like a
    Mylar decoration, and that hand on his knee was close enough to his face
    to stop and pat his cheek.
    The Locker Room
    67

    “I know you"re listening, Xander. You always listened to me. You
    were the one quiet voice in our house, and I loved you for it. I really did
    love you, you know. I mean, I know it was junior high, but you were
    every boy I ever wanted to kiss me. I dreamed of it, right? And then,
    when your life fell