The Lipstick Laws by Amy Holder

"Why would Britney's mom do something like that?"
    "I don't know. Maybe it was jealousy over Brit's strong relationship with her father ... or maybe embarrassment over her failed marriage? Who knows. I think he left her for a friend or something like that. She probably wanted to project the blame onto her daughter so she wouldn't have to deal with reality." Haley sighs heavily. "If you haven't noticed, Brit's mom is just as conniving and image-obsessed as her daughter's become."
    Don't get me wrong; I still can't stand Britney, but this revelation gives me an understanding of where she's learned her interpersonal skills. It doesn't change the fact that she's a living nightmare, but it's definitely sad, to say the least. Putting all that's happened aside, I feel sorry for the young Donut-nicknamed Britney in a detached sort of way.
    "So, Britney believed her mother? How could she believe that? Her dad loves her, right?" I ask.
    "Of course he loves her. He spoils her rotten!"
    "I know," I agree, thinking of her brand-new car, stacked designer wardrobe, and expensive handbag collection.
    "Her mom was persistent and convincing. She had been trying to get Brit to lose weight for years. She was the one embarrassed by her, not her father. I guess the prospect of the divorce was the perfect opportunity to make Brit's weight disappear. She knew how much Britney adored her father and that she'd do anything in her means to persuade him to stay. And she did. Britney went to fat camp for the whole summer before sixth grade. She came back a new person—inside and out."
    "Wow," I say. "The evolution of a monster ... I never woulda thought it all started at fat camp."
    Haley laughs. "Me either."
    "So, what happened next?"
    "Well, Britney was absolutely destroyed when she got back from camp to find that her parents' divorce had been finalized. She created the Lipstick Laws soon after."
    "Were you there? Did you help her create them?" I question curiously.
    "No, I didn't help her create the Lipstick Laws! Are you kidding? I thought they were ridiculous. But I agreed to follow them, 'cause she was my best friend ... and they seemed important to her. Honestly, I thought it was just a weird phase she was going through. Little did I know, it wasn't a phase ... and the Lipstick Laws would eventually come between us."
    "After five years she let those absurd laws ruin your friendship?"
    "Yeah, but remember, I was friends with the old Britney for all those years ... not the new one," Haley says. "You wanna know the most ironic part of the story?"
    "What?" I ask, sitting on the edge of my bed in anticipation.
    "She kicked me out in eighth grade for breaking Lipstick Law Three."
    I gasp. "The weight law?"
    "Yes! I was a month shy of my first period ... so, understandably, I was a bloated mess. But Brit didn't care how or why I gained weight. She said, 'Weight gain is a choice, and I can't be friends with someone who makes bad choices.'"
    "What a bitchawitch!" I say. "You were friends with her while she was a donut!"
    "I know. You'd think she'd stick by me 'cause I stuck by her ... but instead, she said the only friend I needed was Jenny Craig. I was devastated!"
    "This makes me loathe her even more," I seethe.
    Haley is the sweetest person I've ever met. How could anyone do something like that to her? I was only friends with Brit for a few months. But Haley was friends with her for five years. Getting dumped by a long-term best friend had to hurt like a mother-trucker. I feel like crying—not for me, but for poor Haley!
    "Don't loathe her, April," Haley says. "Get even."
    "Uh ... how?"
    "You need to do what I didn't. You can't let her win. I totally gave her the upper hand by letting her get to me. My mom had my counselor switch my lunch period and classes around so I could avoid her ... and I became the biggest hermit in the whole northern hemisphere. I even contemplated switching schools until my dad found out about his job transfer. At that point, I