small place.’
‘
Touché
.’
‘Are they going to throw you off?’
‘They’ve started a petition. But I’ve heard nothing from the council. And actually, the main threat is not from the council but the church commissioners. They own the land, as
a matter of fact. The council are in cahoots. They’re biding their time. Anyway, I’m resourceful, I know my way around the law. Trouble is, all this wrangling is keeping me away from my
book. It’s so time-consuming.’
‘What would happen if they succeeded in getting you out?’
Henry looked surprised, as if he had never considered this possibility.
‘They won’t. They have no grounds. Typically enough, they’re brandishing the cudgel of morality. Toshack and his brigade of “concerned local citizens” have spent a
lot of time combing through the small print of my lease, and discovered somewhere on page gazillion, subsection nine hundred and ninety-one, clause F, paragraph four – or something like that
– that it demands I behave in a “lawful and upright manner” and “conduct myself at all times with due decorum and appropriate responsibility”.
‘Just because I’ve had a few parties down here – which the locals naturally assume quickly develop into drug-addled orgies – they think they can sling me out. But they
have no evidence whatsoever. The police have raided on more than one occasion – again, no doubt thanks to Toshack – but have found nothing other than a few empty cases of, admittedly
poor-quality, wine.’
‘Is Ash on her dad’s side? She didn’t seem like much of a puritan to me.’
‘Ashley is bored. Everyone’s bored around here. Most of them have forgotten how bored they are, though.’
‘So I’m not alone.’
‘Oh no. You are very much participating in the local zeitgeist, so to speak. But be careful. You’d be surprised what they do in order to ease the weight of all that piled-up tedium.
Particularly the young ones.’
‘Is that some kind of warning?’
‘I don’t know much about Ash. She probably not so bad really. Some of the boys around here call her “Ash the Pash”. She’s quite widely fancied.’
‘She’s pretty.’
‘More than that. A red-hot chilli pepper. But don’t get any ideas. She’s a Bible basher. Just likes to play it down. Very keen on her father. Quite the daddy’s girl.
Mother died six, seven years ago. They’re close. And Wesley is not my biggest fan, so Ashley probably lines up on his side.’
‘Why? What did you do? Apart from live on a houseboat.’
‘The worst thing a man can do to another man around here.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Made him feel foolish. And, as I said, he doesn’t like some of the company I attract. I think that was the real reason he buttonholed me. To truffle-hunt for information. I’m
having a bit of an, um,
event
down here in a couple of weeks, and he’s hoping we’re all going to be dancing naked around the campfire and handing out peyote to minors. Chance
would be a fine thing! He’d love that, because it would give him further grounds for litigation. But I know the rules, and I’ll stick by them.’
‘What if they did get enough evidence to throw you off?’
Henry stared out of the window. His eyes took on a faraway look.
‘I would have nothing, I suppose. This is the only home I have. I can’t just sail it away and moor it somewhere else. Moorings are hard to find, and expensive. Plus I’m sure
this old bucket would sink if you tried to take it anywhere.’
‘My father always told me you had plenty of money.’
‘Raymond thinks I’m Daddy Warbucks. That’s because I have a few old friends in the banking business, and I can raise loans easily enough. Have done in the past, and always made
them pay. So my credit is good. But in terms of real cash, I’ve got next to nothing. I can live here because there are no expenses. I mean, the insurance is fierce – because the
Ho
Koji
is made of wood they say it’s a
‘
Touché
.’
‘Are they going to throw you off?’
‘They’ve started a petition. But I’ve heard nothing from the council. And actually, the main threat is not from the council but the church commissioners. They own the land, as
a matter of fact. The council are in cahoots. They’re biding their time. Anyway, I’m resourceful, I know my way around the law. Trouble is, all this wrangling is keeping me away from my
book. It’s so time-consuming.’
‘What would happen if they succeeded in getting you out?’
Henry looked surprised, as if he had never considered this possibility.
‘They won’t. They have no grounds. Typically enough, they’re brandishing the cudgel of morality. Toshack and his brigade of “concerned local citizens” have spent a
lot of time combing through the small print of my lease, and discovered somewhere on page gazillion, subsection nine hundred and ninety-one, clause F, paragraph four – or something like that
– that it demands I behave in a “lawful and upright manner” and “conduct myself at all times with due decorum and appropriate responsibility”.
‘Just because I’ve had a few parties down here – which the locals naturally assume quickly develop into drug-addled orgies – they think they can sling me out. But they
have no evidence whatsoever. The police have raided on more than one occasion – again, no doubt thanks to Toshack – but have found nothing other than a few empty cases of, admittedly
poor-quality, wine.’
‘Is Ash on her dad’s side? She didn’t seem like much of a puritan to me.’
‘Ashley is bored. Everyone’s bored around here. Most of them have forgotten how bored they are, though.’
‘So I’m not alone.’
‘Oh no. You are very much participating in the local zeitgeist, so to speak. But be careful. You’d be surprised what they do in order to ease the weight of all that piled-up tedium.
Particularly the young ones.’
‘Is that some kind of warning?’
‘I don’t know much about Ash. She probably not so bad really. Some of the boys around here call her “Ash the Pash”. She’s quite widely fancied.’
‘She’s pretty.’
‘More than that. A red-hot chilli pepper. But don’t get any ideas. She’s a Bible basher. Just likes to play it down. Very keen on her father. Quite the daddy’s girl.
Mother died six, seven years ago. They’re close. And Wesley is not my biggest fan, so Ashley probably lines up on his side.’
‘Why? What did you do? Apart from live on a houseboat.’
‘The worst thing a man can do to another man around here.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Made him feel foolish. And, as I said, he doesn’t like some of the company I attract. I think that was the real reason he buttonholed me. To truffle-hunt for information. I’m
having a bit of an, um,
event
down here in a couple of weeks, and he’s hoping we’re all going to be dancing naked around the campfire and handing out peyote to minors. Chance
would be a fine thing! He’d love that, because it would give him further grounds for litigation. But I know the rules, and I’ll stick by them.’
‘What if they did get enough evidence to throw you off?’
Henry stared out of the window. His eyes took on a faraway look.
‘I would have nothing, I suppose. This is the only home I have. I can’t just sail it away and moor it somewhere else. Moorings are hard to find, and expensive. Plus I’m sure
this old bucket would sink if you tried to take it anywhere.’
‘My father always told me you had plenty of money.’
‘Raymond thinks I’m Daddy Warbucks. That’s because I have a few old friends in the banking business, and I can raise loans easily enough. Have done in the past, and always made
them pay. So my credit is good. But in terms of real cash, I’ve got next to nothing. I can live here because there are no expenses. I mean, the insurance is fierce – because the
Ho
Koji
is made of wood they say it’s a
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