in all sorts of trouble in a moment. When a
person doesn't know what to think there's no knowing where it might end. You
don't realize what the strain can do to some folk. Say something, won't you?'
After which I
don't know when I've ever heard such a silence. As far as I was concerned
though, I'd said all I had to say, I was that distressed. If Mandy didn't speak
up, then that would have been all there was to it. There's nothing you can say
when someone's refusing to take part.
As it turned
out though, even Mandy couldn't leave it like that, and finally speak up she
did.
'You're very
kind, Larry,' I heard her say - just. She was that quiet. She sounded like she
needed to clear her throat. 'You're very kind,' she said-again. 'But I'm giving
this back, do you understand?'
Well no, of
course I didn't understand. How could I? In a normal world, you give a person
the present of their dreams, and they come at you with thanks flying, not this,
pushing the present back at you like it was the last thing they wanted.
'The radio's
for you,' I said again. It was all I could say. 'That means you keep it.' It
was like trying to explain something for the twentieth time to a backward kid.
'No, Larry,'
she says. Now her voice is fainter than ever. 'It doesn't have to mean I keep
it. I've tried to explain before, but this is worse than anything. You're
making me feel ...Oh how can I explain?'
'Try me,' is
what I say.
Two little
words, and yet they do the trick. For the first time she looks me in the eye,
sees the expression on my face. And this is Mandy we're talking about,
remember. And suddenly, out it all comes, enough words for a week. You could
see that she had it all planned, but it didn't come out that way. For one
thing, she was mumbling and muttering that badly it was just one great jumble.
She was barely making any sense. But the point was, I'd got her talking.
It was
exactly then that I started to feel a lot better. Give me a Mandy muttering,
getting herself all confused, any day. It’s a lot less worrying than the same
girl standing there, not saying a word. You don't know what she might have
stored up then. But now she'd got started, and what did it amount to? Precisely
nothing. All you could see was someone getting herself into a right old state,
talking about needing more space, or some such nonsense, as if she thought I
could do anything about it. If the old kid felt she didn't have enough room,
she should speak to Ethel. In the end, I did what anyone would have done. I put
her out of her misery. Interrupted her before she broke down altogether and
turned us both into nervous wrecks.
'Oh cheer
up,' I told her. 'What do you want to go making such a fuss for? It's just a
little present from Larry, that's all it is. Just take it in the spirit it's
given.'
Harmless
enough words, you may think, but you should have seen the effect on Mandy. All
of a sudden, she stops her muttering and looks at me, straight in the eye. And
shouts. 'Big, little, it's all the same. You keep on doing it, giving me
things. It's driving me mad. Can't you see, what you're doing, it's not
ordinary?'
Talk about
the mouse that roared! Quite took me by surprise it did, Mandy suddenly upping
the volume like that. Naturally, I was taken aback, but one of us had to stay
calm. So I kept my cool, looked right back at her and said quietly, and maybe a
little sorrowfully, 'I'm not with you, Mandy love. What is it that old Larry's
been doing?'
And that, if
I say so myself, was what you could call a reasonable question. Because if she
answers that one, what can she do but go ahead with a little list of everything
that's been done for her since the very first day she arrived? As for ordinary
- well of course it's not ordinary. But imagine, trying to accuse a person of
kindness! You'd sound as if you really had gone mad or bad. Of course there
are plenty of folk who can throw any number of good deeds back in your face and
laugh while they're doing it - I was
person doesn't know what to think there's no knowing where it might end. You
don't realize what the strain can do to some folk. Say something, won't you?'
After which I
don't know when I've ever heard such a silence. As far as I was concerned
though, I'd said all I had to say, I was that distressed. If Mandy didn't speak
up, then that would have been all there was to it. There's nothing you can say
when someone's refusing to take part.
As it turned
out though, even Mandy couldn't leave it like that, and finally speak up she
did.
'You're very
kind, Larry,' I heard her say - just. She was that quiet. She sounded like she
needed to clear her throat. 'You're very kind,' she said-again. 'But I'm giving
this back, do you understand?'
Well no, of
course I didn't understand. How could I? In a normal world, you give a person
the present of their dreams, and they come at you with thanks flying, not this,
pushing the present back at you like it was the last thing they wanted.
'The radio's
for you,' I said again. It was all I could say. 'That means you keep it.' It
was like trying to explain something for the twentieth time to a backward kid.
'No, Larry,'
she says. Now her voice is fainter than ever. 'It doesn't have to mean I keep
it. I've tried to explain before, but this is worse than anything. You're
making me feel ...Oh how can I explain?'
'Try me,' is
what I say.
Two little
words, and yet they do the trick. For the first time she looks me in the eye,
sees the expression on my face. And this is Mandy we're talking about,
remember. And suddenly, out it all comes, enough words for a week. You could
see that she had it all planned, but it didn't come out that way. For one
thing, she was mumbling and muttering that badly it was just one great jumble.
She was barely making any sense. But the point was, I'd got her talking.
It was
exactly then that I started to feel a lot better. Give me a Mandy muttering,
getting herself all confused, any day. It’s a lot less worrying than the same
girl standing there, not saying a word. You don't know what she might have
stored up then. But now she'd got started, and what did it amount to? Precisely
nothing. All you could see was someone getting herself into a right old state,
talking about needing more space, or some such nonsense, as if she thought I
could do anything about it. If the old kid felt she didn't have enough room,
she should speak to Ethel. In the end, I did what anyone would have done. I put
her out of her misery. Interrupted her before she broke down altogether and
turned us both into nervous wrecks.
'Oh cheer
up,' I told her. 'What do you want to go making such a fuss for? It's just a
little present from Larry, that's all it is. Just take it in the spirit it's
given.'
Harmless
enough words, you may think, but you should have seen the effect on Mandy. All
of a sudden, she stops her muttering and looks at me, straight in the eye. And
shouts. 'Big, little, it's all the same. You keep on doing it, giving me
things. It's driving me mad. Can't you see, what you're doing, it's not
ordinary?'
Talk about
the mouse that roared! Quite took me by surprise it did, Mandy suddenly upping
the volume like that. Naturally, I was taken aback, but one of us had to stay
calm. So I kept my cool, looked right back at her and said quietly, and maybe a
little sorrowfully, 'I'm not with you, Mandy love. What is it that old Larry's
been doing?'
And that, if
I say so myself, was what you could call a reasonable question. Because if she
answers that one, what can she do but go ahead with a little list of everything
that's been done for her since the very first day she arrived? As for ordinary
- well of course it's not ordinary. But imagine, trying to accuse a person of
kindness! You'd sound as if you really had gone mad or bad. Of course there
are plenty of folk who can throw any number of good deeds back in your face and
laugh while they're doing it - I was
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