with the entire starting lineup of our home team or with all the cheerleaders. We know it will never happen – that would be the point, and also the reassurance.
If the idea appeals but you have difficulty even beginning, it may be that you feel you need to be “creative.” Relax – this is not an Oscar winner you are directing, and in any case, all fantasy has its starting point in real life; turn to a strong personal memory (or a favorite piece oferotica), rerun, replay – and then adapt. She is more likely to make a story of it. He is more likely to have single scenes, often with different partners. The key is letting the film roll, no hesitation. This is where you get to be in complete control.
As for telling each other, that’s not compulsory – though if silence is guilt-based, it’s a good idea to at least tell a therapist. Equally, a partner’s fantasy that seriously disturbs is a subject for discussion and adjustment; no one should pressure the other to accept what they hate. Uninhibited partners will tell each other about their fantasies (try free-associating just before orgasm if you are shy). Really communicating partners look for them and put them on the menu unannounced – there is no more complete communication. If the thing itself doesn’t turn you on equally, the response will. So say one provocative sentence each in turn, to build the story. Set each other homework, to produce an “essay” as foreplay for next time. Ask your partner to tell (or give) you the thing he or she would most like to see you wearing when you come together for lovemaking and then, next time, wear it. After a few big orgasms together, all but the oddest fantasies get to be shared.
It’s tempting to think that the best next step is action. But be careful of crossing the bridge from fantasy to reality; the whole point of fantasy is that what you dream about is sometimes what you are rightly wary of doing. In particular, the cold light of day can make “additional players” a threat; if yourfantasy is of a threesome, better to close your eyes and pretend that your partner’s hands belong to someone else – this is a far safer option than recruiting crowd scenes ( see foursomes and moresomes ).
Role-play is a different matter, more acceptable because entirely under your control. In the privacy of one’s own room – with or without the addition of a few strategic props – play the master, the mistress, the handsome doctor, or the winsome country maid. He can be the Turkish sultan, whose chosen concubine enters the bedchamber naked and in darkness dives under the covers at the foot of the bed, wriggling her way up alongside him to await his pleasure. She can equally well be Gulbeyaz – the sultan’s wife inByron’s Don Juan – receiving a favored stud. Take it in turns.
tongue bath
tongue bath
go systematically over every square inch with long, slow, broad tongue strokes
Going systematically over every square inch of a partner, tied if they like, with long, slow, broad tongue strokes – keep a glass of water handy to moisten your mouth, or bite your tongue gently to keepsaliva flowing. Start behind, turn them, and cover the front surface after, so as to be in position to go on to coition or hand and mouth work. If the woman gives this, she does it with the man free or staked out, then covers the whole available surface equally systematically with slow strokes of her open vulva followed by leisurely stimulation or riding astride – the whole package reputedly making up the woman’s ploy in traditionalCroatian intercourse. Mini versions cover particular areas in the same way.
bites
bites
gentle nibbling, hard pressure, love bruises
Hindu eroticians classified these at huge length. Gentle nibbling (of the penis, breasts, skin, fingers, ears, labia, clitoris, armpit hair) is part of the general excitatory repertoire. Hard bites at the moment of orgasm excite some people, but for most, like other
If the idea appeals but you have difficulty even beginning, it may be that you feel you need to be “creative.” Relax – this is not an Oscar winner you are directing, and in any case, all fantasy has its starting point in real life; turn to a strong personal memory (or a favorite piece oferotica), rerun, replay – and then adapt. She is more likely to make a story of it. He is more likely to have single scenes, often with different partners. The key is letting the film roll, no hesitation. This is where you get to be in complete control.
As for telling each other, that’s not compulsory – though if silence is guilt-based, it’s a good idea to at least tell a therapist. Equally, a partner’s fantasy that seriously disturbs is a subject for discussion and adjustment; no one should pressure the other to accept what they hate. Uninhibited partners will tell each other about their fantasies (try free-associating just before orgasm if you are shy). Really communicating partners look for them and put them on the menu unannounced – there is no more complete communication. If the thing itself doesn’t turn you on equally, the response will. So say one provocative sentence each in turn, to build the story. Set each other homework, to produce an “essay” as foreplay for next time. Ask your partner to tell (or give) you the thing he or she would most like to see you wearing when you come together for lovemaking and then, next time, wear it. After a few big orgasms together, all but the oddest fantasies get to be shared.
It’s tempting to think that the best next step is action. But be careful of crossing the bridge from fantasy to reality; the whole point of fantasy is that what you dream about is sometimes what you are rightly wary of doing. In particular, the cold light of day can make “additional players” a threat; if yourfantasy is of a threesome, better to close your eyes and pretend that your partner’s hands belong to someone else – this is a far safer option than recruiting crowd scenes ( see foursomes and moresomes ).
Role-play is a different matter, more acceptable because entirely under your control. In the privacy of one’s own room – with or without the addition of a few strategic props – play the master, the mistress, the handsome doctor, or the winsome country maid. He can be the Turkish sultan, whose chosen concubine enters the bedchamber naked and in darkness dives under the covers at the foot of the bed, wriggling her way up alongside him to await his pleasure. She can equally well be Gulbeyaz – the sultan’s wife inByron’s Don Juan – receiving a favored stud. Take it in turns.
tongue bath
tongue bath
go systematically over every square inch with long, slow, broad tongue strokes
Going systematically over every square inch of a partner, tied if they like, with long, slow, broad tongue strokes – keep a glass of water handy to moisten your mouth, or bite your tongue gently to keepsaliva flowing. Start behind, turn them, and cover the front surface after, so as to be in position to go on to coition or hand and mouth work. If the woman gives this, she does it with the man free or staked out, then covers the whole available surface equally systematically with slow strokes of her open vulva followed by leisurely stimulation or riding astride – the whole package reputedly making up the woman’s ploy in traditionalCroatian intercourse. Mini versions cover particular areas in the same way.
bites
bites
gentle nibbling, hard pressure, love bruises
Hindu eroticians classified these at huge length. Gentle nibbling (of the penis, breasts, skin, fingers, ears, labia, clitoris, armpit hair) is part of the general excitatory repertoire. Hard bites at the moment of orgasm excite some people, but for most, like other
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