okay?”
She sat down on the toilet seat, her wet hair flicking drips across her lap.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s get this over with.”
Jody and I knelt on either side of her and started to blow.
“I can’t believe I’m letting you do this,” said Alyssa. “It’s so humiliating—”
“Shhh.” I handed her a towel. “Work on your hair, why don’t you.”
Jody went for the oscillating-fan technique, using a steady breath and a back-and-forth motion. I tried the hot-spot method, blowing directly on one place at a time. We sat there huffing and puffing for at least two minutes before a shadowy impression of Alyssa’s legs shimmered into sight.
“It’s working!” said Jody.
“Keep blowing,” said Alyssa. “Come on. Faster!”
Slowly, Alyssa’s legs began to take shape. Jody and I kept on blowing, working our way down to the ankles.
“Billie!” Jane’s voice rang from the hallway.
“Jane, no!” Hubert yelled as the door swung open.
“I have to pee!”
24 • The End
O h, shoot,” I said.
“Oh, no!” said Hubert, coming in behind Jane with Jean-Pierre at his side.
“Alyssa!” Jane stared. “Why don’t you have any feet?”
“What?” gasped Jean-Pierre.
“Go away,” moaned Alyssa.
“How did Alyssa come to be here?” asked Jean-Pierre.
“Can you stand up with no feet?” asked Jane. “I really have to pee.”
“Go
away
,” said Alyssa.
“Ohmigod,” said Hubert.
Jean-Pierre crouched between Jody and me, transfixed. Jody continued to breathe steadily on Alyssa’s right foot, which was slowly, slowly reappearing.
“Wow!” said Jean-Pierre.
“Extraordinaire
!”
Alyssa covered her face with her hands—dying, I’m sure, of mortification. She didn’t realize Jean-Pierre was fascinated.
“May I try?” He plucked Alyssa’s left ankle out of my grasp and took over the blowing operation. Alyssa jerked her leg, nearly kicking him in the chin, but he held on.
“I feel it, but I do not see it!”
“Billie,” said Alyssa. “Do something!”
“We all know boys are full of hot air,” I said. “So let him use it for a good cause. Think of him as a prince kneeling romantically before you.”
“Instead of some weirdo panting on her toes?” asked Jody in a whisper.
Jean-Pierre ignored us and kept blowing. Within minutes, Alyssa was whole again.
“Now, can I
please
have some privacy?” said Jane, plugging her nose and hopping from footto foot. Alyssa stood up and grabbed her socks and boots from on top of the laundry hamper. She flounced into the hall just before my father appeared in the doorway.
“What are you all doing in the bathroom? Is this what kids do these days?”
“Dad!”
“Eeew! What’s that smell? What
have
you been doing in here?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Just an experiment.” I noticed Hubert tugging the shower curtain over to hide the junk in the bathtub.
“Well, it stinks! I don’t think your mother would approve of this, Billie. Come on, everyone. The party is moving to the living room.
Now
.”
He led the way. My friends shuffled out behind him. I yanked the Mickey curtain out of the way and turned on the taps. I rinsed what I could down the drain, but there were huge chunks of yuck that would have to wait. I closed the curtain again and finally gave Jane her private moment.
Alyssa was in the hall, pulling on her socks.The others had gone ahead, so I waited for her. I had something more to say.
“You know what, Alyssa?” I said to the bent-over back of her head. “I’ve known you since kindergarten, just like I’ve known Hubert. But you’ve never said two nice things to me in eight years. You were always rude to me, and bossy and mean.”
She straightened up and looked me in the eye. “I guess that’s who I am,” she said.
“But it’s not,” I said. “That’s just my point. It’s only part of who you are. Because you’re also inventive and daring. Even fun to be with sometimes. But it wasn’t until
She sat down on the toilet seat, her wet hair flicking drips across her lap.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s get this over with.”
Jody and I knelt on either side of her and started to blow.
“I can’t believe I’m letting you do this,” said Alyssa. “It’s so humiliating—”
“Shhh.” I handed her a towel. “Work on your hair, why don’t you.”
Jody went for the oscillating-fan technique, using a steady breath and a back-and-forth motion. I tried the hot-spot method, blowing directly on one place at a time. We sat there huffing and puffing for at least two minutes before a shadowy impression of Alyssa’s legs shimmered into sight.
“It’s working!” said Jody.
“Keep blowing,” said Alyssa. “Come on. Faster!”
Slowly, Alyssa’s legs began to take shape. Jody and I kept on blowing, working our way down to the ankles.
“Billie!” Jane’s voice rang from the hallway.
“Jane, no!” Hubert yelled as the door swung open.
“I have to pee!”
24 • The End
O h, shoot,” I said.
“Oh, no!” said Hubert, coming in behind Jane with Jean-Pierre at his side.
“Alyssa!” Jane stared. “Why don’t you have any feet?”
“What?” gasped Jean-Pierre.
“Go away,” moaned Alyssa.
“How did Alyssa come to be here?” asked Jean-Pierre.
“Can you stand up with no feet?” asked Jane. “I really have to pee.”
“Go
away
,” said Alyssa.
“Ohmigod,” said Hubert.
Jean-Pierre crouched between Jody and me, transfixed. Jody continued to breathe steadily on Alyssa’s right foot, which was slowly, slowly reappearing.
“Wow!” said Jean-Pierre.
“Extraordinaire
!”
Alyssa covered her face with her hands—dying, I’m sure, of mortification. She didn’t realize Jean-Pierre was fascinated.
“May I try?” He plucked Alyssa’s left ankle out of my grasp and took over the blowing operation. Alyssa jerked her leg, nearly kicking him in the chin, but he held on.
“I feel it, but I do not see it!”
“Billie,” said Alyssa. “Do something!”
“We all know boys are full of hot air,” I said. “So let him use it for a good cause. Think of him as a prince kneeling romantically before you.”
“Instead of some weirdo panting on her toes?” asked Jody in a whisper.
Jean-Pierre ignored us and kept blowing. Within minutes, Alyssa was whole again.
“Now, can I
please
have some privacy?” said Jane, plugging her nose and hopping from footto foot. Alyssa stood up and grabbed her socks and boots from on top of the laundry hamper. She flounced into the hall just before my father appeared in the doorway.
“What are you all doing in the bathroom? Is this what kids do these days?”
“Dad!”
“Eeew! What’s that smell? What
have
you been doing in here?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Just an experiment.” I noticed Hubert tugging the shower curtain over to hide the junk in the bathtub.
“Well, it stinks! I don’t think your mother would approve of this, Billie. Come on, everyone. The party is moving to the living room.
Now
.”
He led the way. My friends shuffled out behind him. I yanked the Mickey curtain out of the way and turned on the taps. I rinsed what I could down the drain, but there were huge chunks of yuck that would have to wait. I closed the curtain again and finally gave Jane her private moment.
Alyssa was in the hall, pulling on her socks.The others had gone ahead, so I waited for her. I had something more to say.
“You know what, Alyssa?” I said to the bent-over back of her head. “I’ve known you since kindergarten, just like I’ve known Hubert. But you’ve never said two nice things to me in eight years. You were always rude to me, and bossy and mean.”
She straightened up and looked me in the eye. “I guess that’s who I am,” she said.
“But it’s not,” I said. “That’s just my point. It’s only part of who you are. Because you’re also inventive and daring. Even fun to be with sometimes. But it wasn’t until
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