The Incorporated Knight by L. Sprague de Camp, Catherine Crook de Camp

this?"
     
                  Eudoric thought, the old boy might give the appearance of doddering, but there was nothing wrong with his wits. He said: "I have been betrothed, Your Imperial Majesty, but chance has each time snatched away my promised bride. That I am single is not from lack of inclination towards the other sex."
     
                  "Hm. We must needs 'mend this condition. Rolgang, is that youngest daughter of yours promised yet?"
     
                  "Nay, sire."
     
                  The Emperor turned back. "Sir Eudoric, the gist is this. Next month, the Grand Cham of the Pantorozians comes on a visit of state, bringing a young dragon to add to the 'perial menagerie. As ye may've heard, our zoological collection is, after the welfare of the Empire, our greatest passion. But, for the honor of the Empire, we can't let this heathen Easterling outdo us in generosity.
     
                  "Dragons are extinct in the Empire, unless a few still lurk in the wilder wastes. We're told, howsomever, that west of Hessel, in your region, lies the wilderness of Bricken, where dwell many curious beasts. Amongst these is a unicorn."
     
                  Eudoric raised his eyebrows. "Your Imperial Majesty wants a unicorn to give to this Pantorozian?"
     
                  "Aye, sir; ye've put the bolt in the gold. How 'bout it?"
     
                  "Why—ah—sensible though I be of the honor, Your Imperial Majesty, I know not whether I could manage it. As I told you, my previous escapes were more by luck than by skill or might. Besides, my coach line, requiring constant attention to detail, takes all my time—"
     
                  "Oh, stuff, my boy! Ye crave a just wage for your labor, as do we all, however we bluebloods affect to be above base thoughts of material gain. Eh, Rolgang?"
     
                  The Emperor winked. Eudoric found this ruler's genial cynicism refreshing after the elaborate pretence of the country gentry among whom he lived to care nothing for vulgar money. Thorar continued:
     
                  "Well, at the moment we have no vacant baronies or counties to bestow, but my brother hath a nubile daughter. She's not the fairest of the fair—"
     
                  "Petrilla's a good girl!" the Archduke broke in.
     
                  "None denies it, none denies it. Neither doth anyone propose her for the Crown of Beauty at tournaments. Well, Sir Eudoric, how about it? One unicorn for the hand of Petrilla Rolgangsdaughter?"
     
                  Eudoric took his time about answering. "The young lady would have to give her free consent. May I have the honor of meeting her?"
     
                  "Certes. Rolgang, arrange it, if you please."
     
                  While Eudoric had been in love several times, the outcomes of these passions had given him a cynical, practical view of the battle of the sexes. He had never found fat girls attractive, and Petrilla was fat— not grossly so yet, but give her a few years. She was dark, dumpy, blunt of feature, and given to giggles.
     
                  Sighing, Eudoric totted up the advantages and disadvantages of being joined with this unglamorous if supremely well-connected young woman. For a career of courtier and magnate, the virtues of being the Archduke's son-in-law overbore all else. After all, Petrilla seemed healthy and good-natured. If she proved too intolerable a bore, he could doubtless find consolation elsewhere.
     
    -
     
                  Back in Arduen, Eudoric sought out Doctor Baldonius, who again got out his huge encyclopedia, unlocked its iron clasps, and turned page after page of crackling parchment.
     
                  "Unicorn," he said. "Ah, here we are. 'The unicorn, Dinohyus helicornus, is the last surviving member of the family