The Housewife Assassin's Hostage Hosting Tips (Housewife Assassin Series Book 9) by Josie Brown
Authors: Josie Brown
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Emma is still working from home–” The moment it’s out of my mouth, I could bite my tongue.
“How did you know that?” Jack sits up so quickly that I’m almost tossed out of the hammock. I’m still trying to come up with a plausible answer when he raises his hand. “Wait–don’t tell me. I really don’t want to know.” He shrugs. “Donna, I’m certainly obliged to you for catching on to Tatyana’s trick and passing it forward to me.”
“Thank you for saying so. I hope you–”
“Wait, I’m not finished.” He takes a deep breath. “I truly believe that you’ve made the right decision for your– our future. At the same time, for both professional and personal reasons, I’ll sorely miss you on my Acme team. But make no mistake: I’ll be sticking to protocol as it pertains to this mission. By that, I mean you can’t be questioning me or anyone else involved about its status. Are we clear on this?”
“Yes, crystal clear.” I blink my tears away.
“Good. That being said, I’ve already asked Ryan, and he’s agreed that as we both value your opinion, you’ll be consulted on specific matters,” he pauses to emphasize, “ on a need-to-know basis .”
I’ve heard that line before “Yeah, sure. But how is that different from my status five minutes ago?”
“Five minutes ago, Ryan felt you didn’t need to know anything, considering you’ve got one foot out the door. Now it means that if and when we want your input on some portion of the mission, we’ll ask for it. But your last Acme assignment is still finding your replacement.”
“Understood.” I add slyly, “And if I should stumble onto some insight that may be useful?”
“By all means, pass it forward.” He smiles knowingly. “Just don’t spend your day tripping over Emma’s computer–or mine again, for that matter.”
“I didn’t trip. It fell.”
“If you say so.” He smiles as he settles back down in the hammock. The arm that isn’t cradling his head finds its way around my shoulder.
What can I say? It’s great to feel appreciated–
Even if it’s only on a need-to-know basis.
Well, of course I need to know–everything. I want to keep my family safe, and my Acme colleagues too.
And I would die if anything happened to Jack.
It’s why I’ll always have his back.
Just like he has mine.
I start by giving him my mouth.
By the way he devours it, I presume he missed it as much as it has missed him.
Chapter 8
Should You Use Cater Waiters?
Unless you’re Lady Crawley of Downton Abbey, a battalion of butlers holding trays with each of the delectable courses served at your next party isn’t a necessity.
However, should your next gathering be large enough that formal invitations are in order and valets will be needed to park your guests’ cars, a few cater waiters wouldn’t hurt. Whether it’s for passing pu pu platters, trays of champagne flutes, or manning the bar, here’s how to pick the ones who will best serve and protect (your precious china):
First, interview each one personally. The obvious ones to avoid are the ones likely to bump into your exquisite furnishings, pick their noses in front of you, as well as those who smell like a brewery, or like your ganja dealer. You can also do without the guy calling his bookie every five minutes, and the gal with red-rimmed eyes who sobs incessantly because her married boyfriend just broke up with her. The much better choices are hotties who can easily dodge your drunk, grabby guests while carrying two trays, or the naughty boys who can mix a dry martini and a mean French 75.
Next, check their references. If it turns out the names given are similar to characters in Marx Brothers movies or corpses now residing in the local cemetery, cross these candidates off your list.
And, finally, don’t hire anyone whose criminal record includes pick-pocketing.
On the other hand, anyone who’s done five to ten in the big house but has never snitched on his
“How did you know that?” Jack sits up so quickly that I’m almost tossed out of the hammock. I’m still trying to come up with a plausible answer when he raises his hand. “Wait–don’t tell me. I really don’t want to know.” He shrugs. “Donna, I’m certainly obliged to you for catching on to Tatyana’s trick and passing it forward to me.”
“Thank you for saying so. I hope you–”
“Wait, I’m not finished.” He takes a deep breath. “I truly believe that you’ve made the right decision for your– our future. At the same time, for both professional and personal reasons, I’ll sorely miss you on my Acme team. But make no mistake: I’ll be sticking to protocol as it pertains to this mission. By that, I mean you can’t be questioning me or anyone else involved about its status. Are we clear on this?”
“Yes, crystal clear.” I blink my tears away.
“Good. That being said, I’ve already asked Ryan, and he’s agreed that as we both value your opinion, you’ll be consulted on specific matters,” he pauses to emphasize, “ on a need-to-know basis .”
I’ve heard that line before “Yeah, sure. But how is that different from my status five minutes ago?”
“Five minutes ago, Ryan felt you didn’t need to know anything, considering you’ve got one foot out the door. Now it means that if and when we want your input on some portion of the mission, we’ll ask for it. But your last Acme assignment is still finding your replacement.”
“Understood.” I add slyly, “And if I should stumble onto some insight that may be useful?”
“By all means, pass it forward.” He smiles knowingly. “Just don’t spend your day tripping over Emma’s computer–or mine again, for that matter.”
“I didn’t trip. It fell.”
“If you say so.” He smiles as he settles back down in the hammock. The arm that isn’t cradling his head finds its way around my shoulder.
What can I say? It’s great to feel appreciated–
Even if it’s only on a need-to-know basis.
Well, of course I need to know–everything. I want to keep my family safe, and my Acme colleagues too.
And I would die if anything happened to Jack.
It’s why I’ll always have his back.
Just like he has mine.
I start by giving him my mouth.
By the way he devours it, I presume he missed it as much as it has missed him.
Chapter 8
Should You Use Cater Waiters?
Unless you’re Lady Crawley of Downton Abbey, a battalion of butlers holding trays with each of the delectable courses served at your next party isn’t a necessity.
However, should your next gathering be large enough that formal invitations are in order and valets will be needed to park your guests’ cars, a few cater waiters wouldn’t hurt. Whether it’s for passing pu pu platters, trays of champagne flutes, or manning the bar, here’s how to pick the ones who will best serve and protect (your precious china):
First, interview each one personally. The obvious ones to avoid are the ones likely to bump into your exquisite furnishings, pick their noses in front of you, as well as those who smell like a brewery, or like your ganja dealer. You can also do without the guy calling his bookie every five minutes, and the gal with red-rimmed eyes who sobs incessantly because her married boyfriend just broke up with her. The much better choices are hotties who can easily dodge your drunk, grabby guests while carrying two trays, or the naughty boys who can mix a dry martini and a mean French 75.
Next, check their references. If it turns out the names given are similar to characters in Marx Brothers movies or corpses now residing in the local cemetery, cross these candidates off your list.
And, finally, don’t hire anyone whose criminal record includes pick-pocketing.
On the other hand, anyone who’s done five to ten in the big house but has never snitched on his
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