The House of Memories by Monica McInerney

I can never go back and thank her. But she came on that taxi ride with me and held me the whole way until we arrived and she could hand me over to Aidan.
    Felix was already dead. He had been dead for fifty minutes.
    It was Jess’s fault. It was Aidan’s fault. It was my fault.
    That morning, ten minutes after Aidan had joked and teased and told me to forget all about him and Felix, he’d got a phone call from his office. An emergency. Last-minute trade negotiations, a senior interpreter urgently needed. The ambassador had requested him. How quickly could he get in? He couldn’t, he said. He was looking after his son. His wife was away. He was very sorry, but—
    There had to be a way. They needed him now. It had to be him. It was about contracts worth millions of dollars. Hundreds of jobs were at stake. No, he couldn’t bring his son with him. It was a high-level meeting. “Can’t someone in your family look after him, even for an hour? A neighbor? Anyone?”
    Aidan rang my mother’s number. She answered on the third ring. She, Walter and Jess had just landed, just collected their luggage, were at the taxi stand about to find their way to their hotel. Walter wasn’t well. He’d got a nosebleed on the flight. He’d be fine, it wasn’t serious, but he just needed to lie down for an hour or so. But of course Jess could babysit Felix. No problem at all. They’d get two separate taxis from the airport. She’d be there in ten minutes. The timing couldn’t have been better, they all agreed, marveling at how wonderful fate was sometimes. What were families for, but to appear just when you needed them?
    If Aidan had received that call from work an hour later, Walter’s nosebleed would have been better and he and Mum could have looked after Felix. If Mum had decided to celebrate Walter’s birthday in a different way, they wouldn’t have been in Canberra at all. Aidan would have had to take Felix into work with him. Felix would have been spoiled and entertained by one of the secretaries or junior researchers and he would have entertained and charmed them in return.
    If.
    Aidan was at the front door in his suit, briefcase in hand, car keys rattling, when the taxi dropped Jess off. Felix was on the living-room floor, playing with his blocks, all smiles, waving and laughing at this surprise visitor.
    “You’re a lifesaver,” Aidan said to Jess. “I shouldn’t be long, two hours at the most. He’s had lunch, had his nap—all he’d love is some fresh air.”
    “Me too. That plane smelled disgusting,” Jess said. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
    Aidan told Jess I was in town, that there was no need to worry me, he should be back before I was, but if he wasn’t, it would be a nice surprise for me to find Jess there with Felix. Walter and Meredith might even have arrived by then too. It would be a welcoming committee, Aidan said.
    Jess took Felix to the park two streets away. Felix loved the park. He loved the swings, the slippery dip, the climbing frame and the sandpit. Most of all, he loved the small nature reserve beside the playground. There was a fence running along the boundary, separating the tended trees from the bushland. If we had time, we’d lift him up, hold him tightly around the waist, and he would inch his way like a little tightrope walker along the top rail of the fence, laughing so hard that we’d soon be laughing too.
    He was only twenty months old. Not big enough to climb a fence on his own. Not yet. Not without one of us holding him. He was a great walker, and he had good balance, but he was only twenty months old.
    Aidan told me that Jess told him that as they were walking back toward home, Felix ran to the fence beside the nature reserve and he insisted, he yelled, until she lifted him up and walked him along the fence. She’d been with us on a previous trip, seen us do it, knew what he wanted. Three times they did it, one end of the rail to the other, back, back again.
    It happened on