like you’re being followed down the aisle by four leeks”.’
I looked askance at her; Helen snorted with laughter and pretended she was clearing her throat.
‘So,’ I went on, because time was pressing, ‘Flora will be coming in, and we’ll be going through the wedding options with her—’
‘Isn’t it the other way round?’
Again I looked up from my notes to see Joe looking ‘confused’. ‘Sorry?’
‘Shouldn’t
she
be telling
you
what
she
wants?’ He raised his palms in apparent confusion. ‘Isn’t that how it works? She comes in, and we give her the unique, personalized wedding of her dreams?’
I put my pen down. ‘The thing is, Joe, weddings are complicated, and for everyone’s sake, they need to run on a timetable and in a certain way. We’ve got a system we trust—’
‘Then no is the answer,’ said Joe. ‘You give them the wedding
you
want.’
‘No! Of course we
listen
to their requests and I do everything we can to accommodate them … within reason,’ I protested, ‘but our job is to give them the Bonneville wedding we’re known for, and that’s a very traditional affair. That’s why they come here. You don’t go to Chanel for a onesie, do you?’
Joe slumped back in his seat. ‘Okay. Fine. So what about the groom? When’s he coming in?’
‘I don’t think he is. Is he, Gemma?’
‘No,’ said Gemma. ‘I can’t even remember what he’s called.’
‘His name is Milo,’ I said at once. ‘Milo McKnight. He’s an art dealer. I doubt he’ll be joining us in the planning meetings. We tend to see brides with their mothers or their bridesmaids, not their fiancés.’
‘Why? Isn’t it the groom’s day too?’
Gemma’s head was swivelling between me and Joe, her eyeswide. She clearly hadn’t anticipated him taking such an active role in the proceedings. Neither had I.
I realized I didn’t have an official answer for this. ‘Grooms just don’t tend to be as interested. And the bride’s often been thinking about her dream wedding for a long time. She has specific ideas.’
‘As has her mother,’ Helen added. ‘Usually her mother’s been thinking about the wedding
she
wanted to have, before
her
mother made her have the wedding
she
wanted.’
I nodded. We’d had a run of difficult mothers in the past few months. I’d had to deploy Laurence and his charm offensive to talk them down.
‘Ooh, are you talking about that right Mumzilla we had in last week?’ Gemma said, reading my mind with her usual magnificent discretion. ‘Did Mr Bentley Douglas manage to talk her out of having the joint vow renewal with the bride’s dad?’
I glanced at Joe, who didn’t really need to know this, and said quickly, ‘He did, yes. But she still wants to sing. So we’ll need to come up with another strategy for that.’
‘Professional performing rights,’ said Helen in a flash. ‘Or piano issues.’
‘
Why
would you want to stop her mother singing?’ Joe argued. ‘Or having a vow renewal? Isn’t it a nice celebration of a lasting marriage?’
‘Not when Mummy wants to wear her original wedding dress too,’ said Gemma. ‘That’s just showing off. Poor bride’s already on a liquid vegan diet.’
Joe’s eyes focused properly for the first time since he’darrived, but not in a good way. In an argumentative way. ‘I’m amazed anyone’s actually allowed to get married here.’
I felt tetchy. Why should I have to justify my highly regarded events planning to someone who’d never even
been
to a Bonneville wedding? ‘Joe, you’ve clearly got some strong ideas of your own about weddings,’ I said lightly. ‘Have you been to many?’
‘Enough. And is it a
strong
idea to think it should be all about the bride
and
groom, not just some big princess wish-fulfilment party?’ he countered. ‘That weddings should just be about two people and their spiritual commitment to each other in their own way, not what kind of canapés are in this week?’
‘And
I looked askance at her; Helen snorted with laughter and pretended she was clearing her throat.
‘So,’ I went on, because time was pressing, ‘Flora will be coming in, and we’ll be going through the wedding options with her—’
‘Isn’t it the other way round?’
Again I looked up from my notes to see Joe looking ‘confused’. ‘Sorry?’
‘Shouldn’t
she
be telling
you
what
she
wants?’ He raised his palms in apparent confusion. ‘Isn’t that how it works? She comes in, and we give her the unique, personalized wedding of her dreams?’
I put my pen down. ‘The thing is, Joe, weddings are complicated, and for everyone’s sake, they need to run on a timetable and in a certain way. We’ve got a system we trust—’
‘Then no is the answer,’ said Joe. ‘You give them the wedding
you
want.’
‘No! Of course we
listen
to their requests and I do everything we can to accommodate them … within reason,’ I protested, ‘but our job is to give them the Bonneville wedding we’re known for, and that’s a very traditional affair. That’s why they come here. You don’t go to Chanel for a onesie, do you?’
Joe slumped back in his seat. ‘Okay. Fine. So what about the groom? When’s he coming in?’
‘I don’t think he is. Is he, Gemma?’
‘No,’ said Gemma. ‘I can’t even remember what he’s called.’
‘His name is Milo,’ I said at once. ‘Milo McKnight. He’s an art dealer. I doubt he’ll be joining us in the planning meetings. We tend to see brides with their mothers or their bridesmaids, not their fiancés.’
‘Why? Isn’t it the groom’s day too?’
Gemma’s head was swivelling between me and Joe, her eyeswide. She clearly hadn’t anticipated him taking such an active role in the proceedings. Neither had I.
I realized I didn’t have an official answer for this. ‘Grooms just don’t tend to be as interested. And the bride’s often been thinking about her dream wedding for a long time. She has specific ideas.’
‘As has her mother,’ Helen added. ‘Usually her mother’s been thinking about the wedding
she
wanted to have, before
her
mother made her have the wedding
she
wanted.’
I nodded. We’d had a run of difficult mothers in the past few months. I’d had to deploy Laurence and his charm offensive to talk them down.
‘Ooh, are you talking about that right Mumzilla we had in last week?’ Gemma said, reading my mind with her usual magnificent discretion. ‘Did Mr Bentley Douglas manage to talk her out of having the joint vow renewal with the bride’s dad?’
I glanced at Joe, who didn’t really need to know this, and said quickly, ‘He did, yes. But she still wants to sing. So we’ll need to come up with another strategy for that.’
‘Professional performing rights,’ said Helen in a flash. ‘Or piano issues.’
‘
Why
would you want to stop her mother singing?’ Joe argued. ‘Or having a vow renewal? Isn’t it a nice celebration of a lasting marriage?’
‘Not when Mummy wants to wear her original wedding dress too,’ said Gemma. ‘That’s just showing off. Poor bride’s already on a liquid vegan diet.’
Joe’s eyes focused properly for the first time since he’darrived, but not in a good way. In an argumentative way. ‘I’m amazed anyone’s actually allowed to get married here.’
I felt tetchy. Why should I have to justify my highly regarded events planning to someone who’d never even
been
to a Bonneville wedding? ‘Joe, you’ve clearly got some strong ideas of your own about weddings,’ I said lightly. ‘Have you been to many?’
‘Enough. And is it a
strong
idea to think it should be all about the bride
and
groom, not just some big princess wish-fulfilment party?’ he countered. ‘That weddings should just be about two people and their spiritual commitment to each other in their own way, not what kind of canapés are in this week?’
‘And
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