see. And why do you want to come to Christ Church?
Rudge Itâs the one I thought I might get into.
Irwin No other reason?
Rudge shakes his head .
Mrs Lintott Do you like the architecture, for instance?
Rudge Theyâll ask me about sport, wonât they?
Mrs Lintott If youâre as uncommunicative as this they may be forced to.
Hector The point is, Rudge, that even if they want to take you on the basis of your prowess on the field you have to help them to pretend at least that there are other considerations.
Rudge thinks .
Rudge Iâm keen on a film.
Irwin What film?
Rudge Well, lots of films, only Miss said to say film not films.
Mrs Lintott No, Rudge. What I said was that it sounds better to say âIâm keen on filmâ rather than âI like filmsâ.
Irwin Like what?
Rudge thinks .
Lockwood Say, This Sporting Life .
Rudge shakes his head .
Itâs about rugger.
Rudge Iâd like to see that. Is it recent?
Look, Iâm shit at all this. Sorry.
If they like me and they want to take me theyâll take me because Iâm dull and ordinary. Iâm no good in interviews but Iâve got enough chat to take me round the golf course and maybe thereâll be someone on the board who wants to go round the golf course.
You think thatâs a joke, but golf makes the same sense to me as architecture or films do to you. You may not rate it but itâs an accomplishment. I may not know much about Jean-Paul Sartre, but Iâve got a handicap of four.
Mrs Lintott Where have you heard about Sartre?
Rudge He was a good golfer.
Hector Really. I never knew that. Interesting.
Bell goes .
Irwin Remember also, our puny efforts notwithstanding, you will be up against boys and girls who will have been taught better than you.
Hector Taught differently, anyway.
Hector and Mrs Lintott go .
Lockwood How did you know Sartre was a golfer?
Rudge I donât know that he was. How could I? I donât even know who the fuck he is. Well, they keep telling us you have to lie.
Crowther Iâve a feeling Kafka was good at table tennis.
Akthar Yes?
Crowther Iâll be glad when we can be shot of all this shit.
Dakin is left with Irwin .
Dakin Sir, I never gave you my essay.
Irwin Thatâs good.
Dakin What degree did you get, sir?
Youâve never said.
Irwin A second.
Dakin Boring. Didnât the old magic work?
Irwin I hadnât perfected the technique.
Dakin What college were you at?
Irwin Corpus.
Dakin Thatâs not one anybody is going in for.
Irwin No.
Dakin You happy?
Irwin There? Yes. Yes, I was, quite.
This is quite a pausy conversation, with Dakin more master than pupil .
Dakin Do you think weâll be happy ⦠say we get in?
Irwin Youâll be happy anyway.
Dakin Iâm not sure I like that. Why?
Irwin shrugs .
Uncomplicated, is that what you mean?
Outgoing?
Straight?
Irwin None of them bad things to be.
Dakin Depends. Nice to be a bit more complicated.
Irwin Or to be thought so.
Howâs Posner?
Dakin Why?
Irwin He likes you, doesnât he?
Dakin Itâs his age.
Heâs growing up.
Irwin Hard for him.
Dakin Boring for me.
Youâre not suggesting I do something about it. It happens.
I wouldnât anyway.
Too young.
Irwin says nothing .
You still look quite young.
Irwin Thatâs because I am, I suppose.
There is an interminable pause .
Dakin How do you think history happens?
Irwin What?
Dakin How does stuff happen, do you think?
People decide to do stuff.
Make moves. Alter things.
Irwin Iâm not sure what youâre talking about.
Dakin No? ( He smiles .) Think about it.
Irwin Some do ⦠make moves, I suppose.
Others react to events.
In 1939 Hitler made a move on Poland.
Poland â¦
Dakin ⦠gave in.
Irwin ( simultaneously ) ⦠defended itself.
Irwin Is that what you mean?
Dakin ( unperturbed ) No.
Not Poland anyway.
Was Poland taken by surprise?
Irwin To some
Rudge Itâs the one I thought I might get into.
Irwin No other reason?
Rudge shakes his head .
Mrs Lintott Do you like the architecture, for instance?
Rudge Theyâll ask me about sport, wonât they?
Mrs Lintott If youâre as uncommunicative as this they may be forced to.
Hector The point is, Rudge, that even if they want to take you on the basis of your prowess on the field you have to help them to pretend at least that there are other considerations.
Rudge thinks .
Rudge Iâm keen on a film.
Irwin What film?
Rudge Well, lots of films, only Miss said to say film not films.
Mrs Lintott No, Rudge. What I said was that it sounds better to say âIâm keen on filmâ rather than âI like filmsâ.
Irwin Like what?
Rudge thinks .
Lockwood Say, This Sporting Life .
Rudge shakes his head .
Itâs about rugger.
Rudge Iâd like to see that. Is it recent?
Look, Iâm shit at all this. Sorry.
If they like me and they want to take me theyâll take me because Iâm dull and ordinary. Iâm no good in interviews but Iâve got enough chat to take me round the golf course and maybe thereâll be someone on the board who wants to go round the golf course.
You think thatâs a joke, but golf makes the same sense to me as architecture or films do to you. You may not rate it but itâs an accomplishment. I may not know much about Jean-Paul Sartre, but Iâve got a handicap of four.
Mrs Lintott Where have you heard about Sartre?
Rudge He was a good golfer.
Hector Really. I never knew that. Interesting.
Bell goes .
Irwin Remember also, our puny efforts notwithstanding, you will be up against boys and girls who will have been taught better than you.
Hector Taught differently, anyway.
Hector and Mrs Lintott go .
Lockwood How did you know Sartre was a golfer?
Rudge I donât know that he was. How could I? I donât even know who the fuck he is. Well, they keep telling us you have to lie.
Crowther Iâve a feeling Kafka was good at table tennis.
Akthar Yes?
Crowther Iâll be glad when we can be shot of all this shit.
Dakin is left with Irwin .
Dakin Sir, I never gave you my essay.
Irwin Thatâs good.
Dakin What degree did you get, sir?
Youâve never said.
Irwin A second.
Dakin Boring. Didnât the old magic work?
Irwin I hadnât perfected the technique.
Dakin What college were you at?
Irwin Corpus.
Dakin Thatâs not one anybody is going in for.
Irwin No.
Dakin You happy?
Irwin There? Yes. Yes, I was, quite.
This is quite a pausy conversation, with Dakin more master than pupil .
Dakin Do you think weâll be happy ⦠say we get in?
Irwin Youâll be happy anyway.
Dakin Iâm not sure I like that. Why?
Irwin shrugs .
Uncomplicated, is that what you mean?
Outgoing?
Straight?
Irwin None of them bad things to be.
Dakin Depends. Nice to be a bit more complicated.
Irwin Or to be thought so.
Howâs Posner?
Dakin Why?
Irwin He likes you, doesnât he?
Dakin Itâs his age.
Heâs growing up.
Irwin Hard for him.
Dakin Boring for me.
Youâre not suggesting I do something about it. It happens.
I wouldnât anyway.
Too young.
Irwin says nothing .
You still look quite young.
Irwin Thatâs because I am, I suppose.
There is an interminable pause .
Dakin How do you think history happens?
Irwin What?
Dakin How does stuff happen, do you think?
People decide to do stuff.
Make moves. Alter things.
Irwin Iâm not sure what youâre talking about.
Dakin No? ( He smiles .) Think about it.
Irwin Some do ⦠make moves, I suppose.
Others react to events.
In 1939 Hitler made a move on Poland.
Poland â¦
Dakin ⦠gave in.
Irwin ( simultaneously ) ⦠defended itself.
Irwin Is that what you mean?
Dakin ( unperturbed ) No.
Not Poland anyway.
Was Poland taken by surprise?
Irwin To some
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