The Heinie Prize by R.L. Stine Page B

room, shaking her head.
    I patted the windowsill. I pictured the silver trophy glowing in the sunlight with my name engraved onthe front. Maybe one day I’d invite Sherman Oaks up for a quick glance at it.
    â€œYo, Big B!” A voice interrupted my daydream.
    I spun around. “Belzer—what do you want?” I asked.

Chapter 4
A S URPRISING L ETTER
    â€œI finished your homework, Bernie,” Belzer said. He set a stack of workbooks and binders down on my desk.
    Belzer does my homework for me every night. He’s a good kid. He knows I need time to plot and scheme for my guys here in Rotten House. No way I can fit homework into my busy schedule.
    Belzer is a chubby, dumpy, schlumpy guy with floppy, red hair and a face full of freckles. He flashed me a crooked smile.
    â€œI fed your parrot,” Belzer said.
    I turned to smile at Lippy, my beautiful green and red parrot, on his perch beside my bed.
    â€œI’ll beak your eye out!” he squawked.

    â€œHa-ha!” I laughed. “Isn’t he cute? Who taught him to say those adorable things? Was it me?”
    â€œBeak me!” Lippy cried.

    I shook my head. “He is the sweetest bird,” I said. “Belzer, did you walk my dog?”
    My fat bulldog, Gassy, was sprawled on my bed, snoring away as usual.
    â€œYes, I gave him a good walk,” Belzer said. “You know, he has bad stomach problems. He stinks, Bernie. He really stinks.”
    â€œAlways walk in front of him,” I said. “Don’t ever walk behind him.” I glanced toward my closet. “Hey,my laundry bag is full,” I said. “Guess I’ll go do my laundry.”
    Belzer blocked my path. “No, please, Big B,” he said. “You know how much I love doing your laundry. Please—let me do it!”
    â€œWell…if you insist,” I said. I shoved the bulging laundry bag into his arms.
    Belzer is a good kid. It took a long time to train him. But it was worth it.
    â€œDon’t starch the shirts,” I said. “I want everything soft. Soft !”
    â€œYou got it,” Belzer said. He staggered to the door.
    And Feenman stepped into the doorway. “You got a letter, Belzer,” Feenman said.
    Belzer reached for the envelope and dropped the laundry bag on Feenman’s foot. Feenman stumbled over it and fell to the floor. Gassy lowered his head from the bed and started to lick Feenman’s hair.

    Lippy squawked.

    Belzer studied the envelope, moving his lips as he read. “Weird!” he said. “It’s from my parents!”
    Belzer’s parents never write to him. The only letters he ever gets are from The Bald Man’s Hair Club. No one knows how he got on their mailing list.
    â€œGo ahead. Open it up,” I said. “It might be important.”
    â€œMaybe they sent me money!” Belzer said.
    â€œIf they did,” I replied, “you can pay me what you owe me for letting you do my laundry.”
    Belzer started to tear open the envelope. Little did I know that the letter would change my life FOREVER!

Chapter 5
B ELZER I S O UTTA T HERE !
    Belzer held the letter close to his face and started to read it out loud. “‘Dear Belzer,’” it began.
    Even his parents call him Belzer! I don’t think anyone knows his first name.
    Â 
    Dear Belzer,
    All we hear from you is about this kid Bernie Bridges. Bernie this and Bernie that. It seems you have nothing else to write about.
    You haven’t accomplished anything at school. You seem to be a loser in every way.
    We want to be proud of you. We don’t want to be proud of someone named Bernie.
    So, we are taking you out of Rotten School. We will send you to a school where you can amount to something.
    Love,
    Mom & Dad
    Â 
    Feenman and I stared in shock at Belzer. Belzer had his eyes on the letter. He was reading it again.
    Finally, he turned to us with a sad sigh. “I have to go to another