hand. If he was scribbling the note in a moving car while getting shot at and with a bullet in his back, though, I expect this might be more or less the way it would have come out. There are points of similarity, that’s the best I can say.”
“I understand. And does the name Quimper Wardle mean anything to you?”
“Oh yes. Mr. Wardle works here, in peel procurement. At least I think he does. Mrs. Pettigrew, his department head, says he hasn’t shown up for the last couple of days. Mrs. Pettigrew told me she’d telephoned Mr. Wardle’s landlady to ask whether he was sick, and the landlady said she hadn’t laid eyes on him since last Friday. If that man doesn’t show up pretty darn soon, I can tell you, he won’t be working for Mother Matilda any longer.”
“How long has Mr. Wardle been with the firm?”
“A little over three months.”
“And how long ago did the trouble with the VPs start?”
“Two months ago to the day.”
“Um,” said Osbert. “How did you happen to hire Mr. Wardle? He didn’t come up through the ranks, obviously.”
“No, he didn’t, although it is our normal practice to promote from within if we possibly can. Not every employee will accept promotion if it’s offered, you know. They get totally dedicated to a certain job and simply wouldn’t be happy anywhere else. And of course peel buying isn’t like mixing and stirring, for instance. There just isn’t the same aesthetic thrill in it. That’s why good peel buyers are so hard to find.”
“Wardle’s a good peel buyer, is he?”
“The fact of the matter is, he’d never bought a peel in his life before he came to us. He’d been buying anchovies for a well-known Worcestershire sauce manufacturer over in England. But he wanted desperately to get into peels because, as he explained, anchovies simply don’t offer the same scope. That was understandable to us, naturally. Mr. Wardle’s references were excellent, and we needed somebody in a hurry, so we decided we might as well give him a chance.”
“Why did you need somebody in a hurry?”
“Because Miss Eagleton, who’d been with us for fifteen years, all of a sudden inherited ten thousand dollars from a distant cousin she never even knew she had, and decided to blow the money on a trip to Australia. She’s going to spend a whole year with her brother who owns an emu ranch down there.”
“Is she, by George?” cried Osbert. “Gosh, I never thought of emus.”
“As why would you?” Mother Matilda rejoined somewhat haughtily. “I fail to see why emus are germane to the issue at hand.”
“A detective has to keep an open mind, Mother Matilda. You did check Mr. Wardle’s references, I assume?”
“Need you ask? We wrote to the factory—that is to say, our personnel director did—and they whizzed us back a reply that was even more glowing than the references he’d shown us in the first place. In fact, they begged us to let them know if we decided not to hire Mr. Wardle because the buyer who’s taken his place just can’t seem to get the hang of anchovies and they were hoping to wheedle him back. That’s not precisely how they phrased it, but that’s the gist. I can’t say we’ve found Wardle any great ball of fire ourselves. However, we realize peels are a major readjustment and we’ve been willing to give him a fair trial.”
“He hasn’t been handling the job adequately?”
“Oh, he’s adequate. Wardle’s not a bad peel buyer but he’s hardly what you’d call an inspired peel buyer. Miss Eagleton, now, there’s a woman who knows how to buy peel! I’m just hoping—selfishly, I grant you—that Miss Eagleton doesn’t meet her Mr. Right down under and fritter away her talents among the billabongs. Fred was saying just the other day—”
“By Fred you’re referring to VP Cider?” Like his wife, Osbert felt it essential to keep the facts straight from the outset.
“That’s right,” Mother Matilda confirmed. “Fred was sitting
“I understand. And does the name Quimper Wardle mean anything to you?”
“Oh yes. Mr. Wardle works here, in peel procurement. At least I think he does. Mrs. Pettigrew, his department head, says he hasn’t shown up for the last couple of days. Mrs. Pettigrew told me she’d telephoned Mr. Wardle’s landlady to ask whether he was sick, and the landlady said she hadn’t laid eyes on him since last Friday. If that man doesn’t show up pretty darn soon, I can tell you, he won’t be working for Mother Matilda any longer.”
“How long has Mr. Wardle been with the firm?”
“A little over three months.”
“And how long ago did the trouble with the VPs start?”
“Two months ago to the day.”
“Um,” said Osbert. “How did you happen to hire Mr. Wardle? He didn’t come up through the ranks, obviously.”
“No, he didn’t, although it is our normal practice to promote from within if we possibly can. Not every employee will accept promotion if it’s offered, you know. They get totally dedicated to a certain job and simply wouldn’t be happy anywhere else. And of course peel buying isn’t like mixing and stirring, for instance. There just isn’t the same aesthetic thrill in it. That’s why good peel buyers are so hard to find.”
“Wardle’s a good peel buyer, is he?”
“The fact of the matter is, he’d never bought a peel in his life before he came to us. He’d been buying anchovies for a well-known Worcestershire sauce manufacturer over in England. But he wanted desperately to get into peels because, as he explained, anchovies simply don’t offer the same scope. That was understandable to us, naturally. Mr. Wardle’s references were excellent, and we needed somebody in a hurry, so we decided we might as well give him a chance.”
“Why did you need somebody in a hurry?”
“Because Miss Eagleton, who’d been with us for fifteen years, all of a sudden inherited ten thousand dollars from a distant cousin she never even knew she had, and decided to blow the money on a trip to Australia. She’s going to spend a whole year with her brother who owns an emu ranch down there.”
“Is she, by George?” cried Osbert. “Gosh, I never thought of emus.”
“As why would you?” Mother Matilda rejoined somewhat haughtily. “I fail to see why emus are germane to the issue at hand.”
“A detective has to keep an open mind, Mother Matilda. You did check Mr. Wardle’s references, I assume?”
“Need you ask? We wrote to the factory—that is to say, our personnel director did—and they whizzed us back a reply that was even more glowing than the references he’d shown us in the first place. In fact, they begged us to let them know if we decided not to hire Mr. Wardle because the buyer who’s taken his place just can’t seem to get the hang of anchovies and they were hoping to wheedle him back. That’s not precisely how they phrased it, but that’s the gist. I can’t say we’ve found Wardle any great ball of fire ourselves. However, we realize peels are a major readjustment and we’ve been willing to give him a fair trial.”
“He hasn’t been handling the job adequately?”
“Oh, he’s adequate. Wardle’s not a bad peel buyer but he’s hardly what you’d call an inspired peel buyer. Miss Eagleton, now, there’s a woman who knows how to buy peel! I’m just hoping—selfishly, I grant you—that Miss Eagleton doesn’t meet her Mr. Right down under and fritter away her talents among the billabongs. Fred was saying just the other day—”
“By Fred you’re referring to VP Cider?” Like his wife, Osbert felt it essential to keep the facts straight from the outset.
“That’s right,” Mother Matilda confirmed. “Fred was sitting
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