around his neck, she eased herself up, but then winced.
‘Did I hurt you?’ he demanded, aghast. ‘I forgot—’
‘So did I,’ she promised him. ‘I think I’ll get in the shower and see what the rest of me looks like.’
He helped her off the bed, which she needed for her exertions seemed to have weakened her. Clinging to him, shewent slowly into the bathroom, switching on the lights so that he could see her clearly for the first time, and turning her to look at her back. She heard him draw a sharp breath.
‘Nasty,’ he said. ‘You must have landed on something sharp. I’m so sorry.’
‘I can’t feel anything,’ she said shakily. ‘I guess I have too many other things to feel.’
He started the shower and helped her to get under it, soaping her gently, then laving her with water and dabbing her dry. Then he carried her tenderly back to bed and went to fetch her things from the room where she had been camping.
‘You wear cotton pyjamas?’ he asked as her nightwear came into view.
‘What were you expecting? Slinky lingerie? Not when I’m alone. These are practical.’
‘I’ll see what I can find us to eat,’ he said. ‘I may have to go out.’
‘There’s some food in the kitchen. I brought it with me.’
He made them coffee and sandwiches, tending her like a nanny.
‘We ought to have talked before anything happened,’ he said. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’
She smiled. ‘That’s easy to say, but I don’t think we could have talked before. We had to get past a certain point.’
He nodded. ‘But now it’s going to be different. I’m going to look after you until you’re better.’ Tenderly he helped her into her pyjamas, and a thought seemed to strike him. ‘How long have you been here?’
‘Three days.’
‘When did you get back from England?’
‘I haven’t been to England. What made you think I had?’
‘When I found your phone turned off I called the house and spoke to someone who said you’d gone to England withNikator. There was a message that neither of you wanted to be disturbed—for quite a while.’
‘And you believed that?’ she demanded. ‘What are you—dead in the head?’
‘How could I not believe it? There was nothing to tell me any different. You’d vanished without a trace. Your phone was switched off.’
‘I lost it in the water. I’ve got a new one.’
‘How was I supposed to know? You might have gone with him.’
But he knew that wasn’t the real reason for his credulity. Nikator’s lie had touched a nerve, and that nerve led back to a lack of self-confidence so rare with him that he couldn’t cope with it.
Petra was still indignant.
‘It wasn’t possible,’ she fumed. ‘It was never possible, and you should have known that.’
‘How could I know it when you weren’t there to tell me?’ he asked reasonably. ‘If I didn’t think it through properly, maybe it’s your fault.’
‘Oh, right, fine. Blame me.’
‘You left without a word.’
‘ I didn’t say a word? What about you? I don’t go pestering a man who’s shown he doesn’t want me.’
‘Don’t tell me what I want and don’t want,’ he said with a faint touch of the old ferocity.
‘You were pushing me away, you know you were—’
‘No, that’s not what I—’
‘Sending me different signals that I couldn’t work out.’
He tore his hair. ‘Maybe I couldn’t work them out myself. You told me you’d finished with me—’
‘I didn’t actually say that—’
‘The hell you didn’t! Have you forgotten some of thethings you said? I haven’t. I’ll never forget them. I never wanted you to go away. And then—’ he took a shuddering breath ‘—you could have died on that boat, and you might not have been on it if it weren’t for me. I just had to know you were safe, but after that—well, you and he seemed so comfortable together.’
‘Except that he took the chance to spread lies,’ she seethed. ‘I was actually beginning to
‘Did I hurt you?’ he demanded, aghast. ‘I forgot—’
‘So did I,’ she promised him. ‘I think I’ll get in the shower and see what the rest of me looks like.’
He helped her off the bed, which she needed for her exertions seemed to have weakened her. Clinging to him, shewent slowly into the bathroom, switching on the lights so that he could see her clearly for the first time, and turning her to look at her back. She heard him draw a sharp breath.
‘Nasty,’ he said. ‘You must have landed on something sharp. I’m so sorry.’
‘I can’t feel anything,’ she said shakily. ‘I guess I have too many other things to feel.’
He started the shower and helped her to get under it, soaping her gently, then laving her with water and dabbing her dry. Then he carried her tenderly back to bed and went to fetch her things from the room where she had been camping.
‘You wear cotton pyjamas?’ he asked as her nightwear came into view.
‘What were you expecting? Slinky lingerie? Not when I’m alone. These are practical.’
‘I’ll see what I can find us to eat,’ he said. ‘I may have to go out.’
‘There’s some food in the kitchen. I brought it with me.’
He made them coffee and sandwiches, tending her like a nanny.
‘We ought to have talked before anything happened,’ he said. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’
She smiled. ‘That’s easy to say, but I don’t think we could have talked before. We had to get past a certain point.’
He nodded. ‘But now it’s going to be different. I’m going to look after you until you’re better.’ Tenderly he helped her into her pyjamas, and a thought seemed to strike him. ‘How long have you been here?’
‘Three days.’
‘When did you get back from England?’
‘I haven’t been to England. What made you think I had?’
‘When I found your phone turned off I called the house and spoke to someone who said you’d gone to England withNikator. There was a message that neither of you wanted to be disturbed—for quite a while.’
‘And you believed that?’ she demanded. ‘What are you—dead in the head?’
‘How could I not believe it? There was nothing to tell me any different. You’d vanished without a trace. Your phone was switched off.’
‘I lost it in the water. I’ve got a new one.’
‘How was I supposed to know? You might have gone with him.’
But he knew that wasn’t the real reason for his credulity. Nikator’s lie had touched a nerve, and that nerve led back to a lack of self-confidence so rare with him that he couldn’t cope with it.
Petra was still indignant.
‘It wasn’t possible,’ she fumed. ‘It was never possible, and you should have known that.’
‘How could I know it when you weren’t there to tell me?’ he asked reasonably. ‘If I didn’t think it through properly, maybe it’s your fault.’
‘Oh, right, fine. Blame me.’
‘You left without a word.’
‘ I didn’t say a word? What about you? I don’t go pestering a man who’s shown he doesn’t want me.’
‘Don’t tell me what I want and don’t want,’ he said with a faint touch of the old ferocity.
‘You were pushing me away, you know you were—’
‘No, that’s not what I—’
‘Sending me different signals that I couldn’t work out.’
He tore his hair. ‘Maybe I couldn’t work them out myself. You told me you’d finished with me—’
‘I didn’t actually say that—’
‘The hell you didn’t! Have you forgotten some of thethings you said? I haven’t. I’ll never forget them. I never wanted you to go away. And then—’ he took a shuddering breath ‘—you could have died on that boat, and you might not have been on it if it weren’t for me. I just had to know you were safe, but after that—well, you and he seemed so comfortable together.’
‘Except that he took the chance to spread lies,’ she seethed. ‘I was actually beginning to
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