The Great Rabbit Revenge Plan by Burkhard Spinnen

nothing. In the cellar, the one that is supposed to contain provisions – where, in the Bantelmanns’ house there are lots of bottles and tins, all clean and tidy and arranged on handy shelves in order of size – there is nothing of the kind. No. Here there are only more packing cases. Bigones and little ones, a few actually folded up, but most of them just thrown here and there.
    â€˜Well?’ says Fridz. She seems to be delighted by these boxes.
    â€˜Boxes,’ say the Konrads. Nothing to be all that very thrilled about.
    â€˜Yes, exactly,’ says Fridz. ‘Any number of super boxes. So we can send the stupid cow her rabbit plague. Without her knowing who has sent it.’
    The old Konrad is not very surprised. He knew all along. But the new Konrad had wanted to wait and see what would happen. The old one just has to try and make the best of it now.
    â€˜So are you really going to do it?’ he says.
    Fridz has already started to push some of the packing cases aside.
    â€˜What are you saying?’ she says. ‘It was your idea in the first place.’
    Oh good lord! The old Konrad remembers: he did say something yesterday about setting a trap, but this idea with the rabbit – Fridz had thought that up all by herself. And in any case, he’d only meant to say something funny to cheer her up.
    He was just about to say this in his defence, but the way Fridz is all business with these boxes, it doesn’t look as if she would be interested in getting involved in a complicated conversation about who said what and who didn’t.
    She is tossing them around at such a rate that the boxes are practically whizzing by the Konrads’ ears. And now at last she lifts one up with both hands over her head and cries, ‘This isthe one! I’d hidden it under the others, just to be on the safe side.’
    You’d need to do that all right with this one, because it looks totally different from all the others. It’s bright red, which is to say, it has been covered with bright red paper. And on top of that, several metres of luminous yellow ribbon has been wrapped around it, and on top of the box is the fattest, most crooked bow that the Konrads have ever seen.
    â€˜Wow!’ they both say.
    â€˜Exactly!’ says Fridz. She is looking very proud and that makes her look pretty. She turns the box around so that it can be seen from all sides.
    â€˜It took me two hours yesterday to make it look like this. Good, isn’t it?’
    Right. Even if you wanted to contradict her, you couldn’t do it.
    What a box! On the top is an address label, written in three different colours and decorated all over with little hearts.
    â€˜What do you think?’ says Fridz, making big eyes. ‘Just imagine how that cow will fall on it! She’ll think the biggest, fattest present in the world is in it. And then –’ She presses the box to her chest, and dances around in a circle like an Indian. ‘Then she’ll tear the paper off and with her long fingernails she’ll pull the lid off, and she’ll reach in with her two greedy hands – and what will she pull out?’
    But before the Konrads can say anything, Fridz lets the box fall and pretends she has something in her hands. She gives this something a crazed look and starts screeching, ‘Eeeeeeek! Eeeeeeek! A rabbit! Help! Help!’
    Then she pretends to chuck the thing away from her, and immediately she starts scratching herself all over. ‘Eeeeeeek!’ she keeps shouting. ‘I’m coming out in a rash! My hair is falling out! I’m blue all over, and green! My teeth are going black! My toenails are curling up! Help! Help!’
    Finally, she puts her hands around her throat and presses hard. ‘I can’t breathe!’ she gasps hoarsely, rolling her eyes. ‘I have a multinational animal fur allergy and I must, unfortunately, die a bit.’
    She takes one hand from