rapidly flips through them, studying each key. He settles on one, inserts it into the keyhole, jiggles it, and twists. The lock clicks.
Cut to:
M. Gustave and Zero jumping out from the confessional booth. Zero darts to the other side and cracks open the other door. He peeks in and sees:
Serge with a bloody garrote-wire strung around his neck. His eyes are wide open, and his tongue sticks out slightly.
Zero grimaces. M. Gustave looks over his shoulder.
M. GUSTAVE
Bloody
hell
. They’ve strangled the poor slob!
M. Gustave presses the door quietly shut again. He and Zero both look frantically around the room.
One lone Monk swings a smoking censer as he recesses quickly down the center aisle while the rest of the congregation stand in their pews singing. He steps outside and ducks away around the corner.
M. Gustave’s and Zero’s eyes light up – then narrow fiercely.
EXT. COURTYARD. DAY
M. Gustave and Zero dash out the front doors. They skid to a stop and scan the area. There is a display next to the church entrance of a wooden saint on a sled being pulled by a
papier-mâché
reindeer. There is no one else in sight.
A door creaks slowly in the wind outside a small shed across the way. A sign above it reads: ‘Ski Locker
(
Clerical Use Only
)’.
A cloak and the still-smoldering censer are strewn in the snow in front of it.
Insert:
A pair of high-heeled boots clamping into a pair of ski-clips.
Insert:
A pair of hands with brass knuckles gripping a pair of ski-poles.
Cut to:
Jopling
(
without cloak, on skis
)
exploding out the door of the shed, making a hard pivot, and launching through the monastery gate, down the steep slope.
M. Gustave and Zero watch in shock.
Zero turns to the display next to them. He leaps over to it, kicks off the saint, flips away the reindeer, and shoves the sled full speed across the churchyard. He shouts:
ZERO
Come on!
M. Gustave chases after Zero, and they jump on board just as the sled dips sharply and accelerates like mad down the mountain. Zero hangs onto a short rope knotted to the front. M. Gustave hangs onto Zero.
Jopling, skiing superbly up ahead, looks back. He sees M. Gustave and Zero closing in. He frowns. He makes a quick detour through a gap in the trees and races down a narrow, zig-zag path.
Zero jerks the rope and follows Jopling. The sled bounces and bumps, skids and slides. Zero shouts:
ZERO
What do we do if we catch him?
M. GUSTAVE
(
pause
)
I don’t know! He’s a homicidal psychopath! Let’s stop!
ZERO
I can’t! I can barely
steer
!
Jopling ramps over the sloped roof of a shuttered café and lands cleanly. M. Gustave and Zero duck and shoot under it, banging between tables, scattering chairs, and rattling off the terrace.
A group of hikers in snow-shoes walks single file across the slope. They hurry to one side in a panic to dodge Jopling, then immediately hurry back to the other to dodge M. Gustave and Zero.
A long, paper banner rustles in the wind. It reads:
GABELMEISTER’S PEAK, WINTER GAMES .
Jopling snaps through it and shoots out onto an abandoned bobsled run. He balances nimbly as he rockets down the ice. M. Gustave and Zero burst onto the track behind him, skittering through the corners. They grit their teeth and hang on, terrified.
At the end of the run, Jopling jolts sideways, scratching across the track and showering splinters of ice, then zips up into the air and lands on the snow at the side of a road directly next to his parked motorcycle. He watches as:
M. Gustave and Zero come flying down the bobsled run at breakneck speed, slam into a dense bank at the bottom, and soar into a high arc. The sled flips and twirls, then hits the ground and splits into three pieces. Zero bashes headfirst into the deep snow and disappears – except
for his feet and ankles sticking out into the air, motionless. M. Gustave smacks onto the ice and slides, spinning, off the edge of a cliff. Silence.
Jopling takes a drink from his flask. He
Cut to:
M. Gustave and Zero jumping out from the confessional booth. Zero darts to the other side and cracks open the other door. He peeks in and sees:
Serge with a bloody garrote-wire strung around his neck. His eyes are wide open, and his tongue sticks out slightly.
Zero grimaces. M. Gustave looks over his shoulder.
M. GUSTAVE
Bloody
hell
. They’ve strangled the poor slob!
M. Gustave presses the door quietly shut again. He and Zero both look frantically around the room.
One lone Monk swings a smoking censer as he recesses quickly down the center aisle while the rest of the congregation stand in their pews singing. He steps outside and ducks away around the corner.
M. Gustave’s and Zero’s eyes light up – then narrow fiercely.
EXT. COURTYARD. DAY
M. Gustave and Zero dash out the front doors. They skid to a stop and scan the area. There is a display next to the church entrance of a wooden saint on a sled being pulled by a
papier-mâché
reindeer. There is no one else in sight.
A door creaks slowly in the wind outside a small shed across the way. A sign above it reads: ‘Ski Locker
(
Clerical Use Only
)’.
A cloak and the still-smoldering censer are strewn in the snow in front of it.
Insert:
A pair of high-heeled boots clamping into a pair of ski-clips.
Insert:
A pair of hands with brass knuckles gripping a pair of ski-poles.
Cut to:
Jopling
(
without cloak, on skis
)
exploding out the door of the shed, making a hard pivot, and launching through the monastery gate, down the steep slope.
M. Gustave and Zero watch in shock.
Zero turns to the display next to them. He leaps over to it, kicks off the saint, flips away the reindeer, and shoves the sled full speed across the churchyard. He shouts:
ZERO
Come on!
M. Gustave chases after Zero, and they jump on board just as the sled dips sharply and accelerates like mad down the mountain. Zero hangs onto a short rope knotted to the front. M. Gustave hangs onto Zero.
Jopling, skiing superbly up ahead, looks back. He sees M. Gustave and Zero closing in. He frowns. He makes a quick detour through a gap in the trees and races down a narrow, zig-zag path.
Zero jerks the rope and follows Jopling. The sled bounces and bumps, skids and slides. Zero shouts:
ZERO
What do we do if we catch him?
M. GUSTAVE
(
pause
)
I don’t know! He’s a homicidal psychopath! Let’s stop!
ZERO
I can’t! I can barely
steer
!
Jopling ramps over the sloped roof of a shuttered café and lands cleanly. M. Gustave and Zero duck and shoot under it, banging between tables, scattering chairs, and rattling off the terrace.
A group of hikers in snow-shoes walks single file across the slope. They hurry to one side in a panic to dodge Jopling, then immediately hurry back to the other to dodge M. Gustave and Zero.
A long, paper banner rustles in the wind. It reads:
GABELMEISTER’S PEAK, WINTER GAMES .
Jopling snaps through it and shoots out onto an abandoned bobsled run. He balances nimbly as he rockets down the ice. M. Gustave and Zero burst onto the track behind him, skittering through the corners. They grit their teeth and hang on, terrified.
At the end of the run, Jopling jolts sideways, scratching across the track and showering splinters of ice, then zips up into the air and lands on the snow at the side of a road directly next to his parked motorcycle. He watches as:
M. Gustave and Zero come flying down the bobsled run at breakneck speed, slam into a dense bank at the bottom, and soar into a high arc. The sled flips and twirls, then hits the ground and splits into three pieces. Zero bashes headfirst into the deep snow and disappears – except
for his feet and ankles sticking out into the air, motionless. M. Gustave smacks onto the ice and slides, spinning, off the edge of a cliff. Silence.
Jopling takes a drink from his flask. He
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