and I chose to instruct by parable. I had come to learn that all of us, having been created by the Lord, possessed much of the Lord's pride. One learned best when free from the yoke of a preacher. It was better to feel full of His spirit by one's power to solve a riddle.
Therefore, I offered this parable: The Kingdom of Heaven, I told them, was like a man who planted good seed in his field; yet while he slept, his enemy came and sowed bad seed upon it, and these weeds appeared with the good wheat. One of my listeners spoke out: "Should the servants of the householder pull up such weeds?"
"No," I answered. "For you will uproot the wheat as well. Let weeds and good grain grow side by side until the harvest. Then, only then, should you bind the weeds and burn them. And bring the wheat into the house."
But I had another question for myself. How well could the Lord's angels separate good from evil? My journeys had shown me the cunning of men. And priests were more cunning still. What if there was a temple before the gate of heaven that was not unlike a customshouse? Through such gates could slip many an evil person.
Over and over, I had been learning that to my fellow men it mattered less whether they were tall or short, lean or wide, of noble features or ugly, even strong or weak. In one way all were the same: Greed was their guide.
So when Peter said to me, "We have forsaken all and followed you; what shall we have in return?" I replied with another parable, and it was for Peter.
A man hired his laborers for one denarius a day and sent them into his vineyard. As the hours passed, he hired more in the third hour and more again in the sixth and even in the ninth hour.
At the end of the day, he told his steward, "Call the laborers and pay them." Each man, whether from the first hour or the ninth, received one denarius. Since the first supposed that the last would receive less, they complained. But the householder told them, "Did you not agree to work for one denarius? Take what is yours and go. I will give as much to the last man as to you. Let the last be first and the first last."
I was uplifted by the force of my voice and spoke with such strength that the Lord whispered: "Enough! In your speech is the seed of discontent. When you are without Me, the Devil is your companion." And I felt as if the Lord held a thorn to my brow; I no longer knew to whose voice I listened. And I understood that to be the Son of God was not equal to being a Prince of Heaven but instead was my apprenticeship in learning how to speak simply and with wisdom, rather than by bewildering others with the brilliance of one's words; it was to knowùmost difficult of allùwhen the Lord was speaking through me and when He was not.
While we waited and worked to keep our spirits together, I had my times of doubt. I had labored in so many ways to reach the hearts of my fellow Jews, good men, even pillars of the community, but so many had wanted nothing to do with me.
It was then I had the longest conversation I would know with Judas. For, in an hour of doubt, I asked him: "Why do they not join me? How can they not wish to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?"
He was ready to tell me. "It is," Judas said, "because you do not understand them. You speak of the end of this world and our entrance into another realm. But a moneylender or a merchant does not want this world to end. He is comfortable with his little triumphs, and he wishes to be able to brood on the losses of his day. So he is at home with everything that proves a little cleaner or a little filthier than it was supposed to be. He lives for the play of chance. That is why he is so pious when he does not play. He suspects that the Lord would never approve of chance, yet here is he, enjoying life to the degree that it is a game and not a serious matter. Except for money. Gold is the center of philosophy for such a person, and salvation is there to contemplate in one's thoughts, but not in one's actions.
Therefore, I offered this parable: The Kingdom of Heaven, I told them, was like a man who planted good seed in his field; yet while he slept, his enemy came and sowed bad seed upon it, and these weeds appeared with the good wheat. One of my listeners spoke out: "Should the servants of the householder pull up such weeds?"
"No," I answered. "For you will uproot the wheat as well. Let weeds and good grain grow side by side until the harvest. Then, only then, should you bind the weeds and burn them. And bring the wheat into the house."
But I had another question for myself. How well could the Lord's angels separate good from evil? My journeys had shown me the cunning of men. And priests were more cunning still. What if there was a temple before the gate of heaven that was not unlike a customshouse? Through such gates could slip many an evil person.
Over and over, I had been learning that to my fellow men it mattered less whether they were tall or short, lean or wide, of noble features or ugly, even strong or weak. In one way all were the same: Greed was their guide.
So when Peter said to me, "We have forsaken all and followed you; what shall we have in return?" I replied with another parable, and it was for Peter.
A man hired his laborers for one denarius a day and sent them into his vineyard. As the hours passed, he hired more in the third hour and more again in the sixth and even in the ninth hour.
At the end of the day, he told his steward, "Call the laborers and pay them." Each man, whether from the first hour or the ninth, received one denarius. Since the first supposed that the last would receive less, they complained. But the householder told them, "Did you not agree to work for one denarius? Take what is yours and go. I will give as much to the last man as to you. Let the last be first and the first last."
I was uplifted by the force of my voice and spoke with such strength that the Lord whispered: "Enough! In your speech is the seed of discontent. When you are without Me, the Devil is your companion." And I felt as if the Lord held a thorn to my brow; I no longer knew to whose voice I listened. And I understood that to be the Son of God was not equal to being a Prince of Heaven but instead was my apprenticeship in learning how to speak simply and with wisdom, rather than by bewildering others with the brilliance of one's words; it was to knowùmost difficult of allùwhen the Lord was speaking through me and when He was not.
While we waited and worked to keep our spirits together, I had my times of doubt. I had labored in so many ways to reach the hearts of my fellow Jews, good men, even pillars of the community, but so many had wanted nothing to do with me.
It was then I had the longest conversation I would know with Judas. For, in an hour of doubt, I asked him: "Why do they not join me? How can they not wish to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?"
He was ready to tell me. "It is," Judas said, "because you do not understand them. You speak of the end of this world and our entrance into another realm. But a moneylender or a merchant does not want this world to end. He is comfortable with his little triumphs, and he wishes to be able to brood on the losses of his day. So he is at home with everything that proves a little cleaner or a little filthier than it was supposed to be. He lives for the play of chance. That is why he is so pious when he does not play. He suspects that the Lord would never approve of chance, yet here is he, enjoying life to the degree that it is a game and not a serious matter. Except for money. Gold is the center of philosophy for such a person, and salvation is there to contemplate in one's thoughts, but not in one's actions.
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