lunch set up, Aunt Roxanne changed Baby Olivia’s diapers and
talked to her in a silly squeaky voice that made Olivia laugh and Merell’s stomach feel warm. After lunch Aunt Roxanne asked
Merell to give her a tour of the compound. The twins wanted to come along but Franny said they were too rambunctious and if
they didn’t settle down she was going to tie them to a post.
On the west side of the house there was a play yard and in it was the playhouse Merell shared with the twins. It had a pointed
roof and a chimney and a pretend fireplace. Sometimes they imagined it was a school and Merell was the teacher.
“The twins can’t even count.”
They walked beyond the playhouse to the big piece of land where Daddy was going to build the tennis courts next summer. Chowder
raced among the trees, and Merell talked and Aunt Roxanne didn’t tell her to be quiet.
Merell asked, “Do you have a best friend?”
“Sure. You know Elizabeth.”
She would have liked it if Aunt Roxanne said that she, Merell, was her best friend; but she knew this was a silly wish.
“Does she sleep over sometimes?”
“Not anymore, but we used to share an apartment.”
This sounded wonderful to Merell. “Do you tell her secrets?”
“Sometimes.”
“What kind of secrets?”
“I don’t remember any of them so they must not have been very important.”
They leaned against the wall at the edge of the cliff, their arms folded on the cold stone.
“Our house was in a magazine,” Merell said. “Daddy has a copy of it in his study.” She laughed, thinking how silly one of
the skinny models looked standing on the roof in a long purple dress. “Daddy says we’re not to call it a house. It’s a cottage
and all the land around it? That’s the compound.”
The sky was dark with clouds now and the wind blew hard. In the middle of the lake a pair of kayaks fought their way against
the wind.
“If they sink they’ll go down to Vermillion. That’s the town under the water. Daddy says there was this old man who lived
there and when the engineers came and told him he had to go or he’d be drowned, he said he didn’t care. So they just left
him. With his dog and a mule.Their bones are all down at the bottom.” Merell stared at the water. “I don’t like to think about him. About drowning.”
Roxanne took her hand.
Merell said, “If I tell you a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone? Cross your heart?”
All day long she had been thinking about the promise she had made to Gramma Ellen, feeling it in her head like one of Mommy’s
meany-men. She had not wanted to promise in the first place, and wished that instead she’d been brave enough to walk away,
out of the room to one of her hiding places until everyone forgot about what happened at the pool, although she was afraid
that wouldn’t be for years and years. It was a weary thing to carry an important secret alone.
“Merell, the thing about a secret is, once you share it with someone, it’s not really a secret anymore.”
Merell scuffed the toe of her sneaker into the lawn so hard she dug up a divot of grass. She held her breath and wished hard
that Aunt Roxanne would change her mind and promise not to tell. But a teacher hardly ever changed her mind about anything,
even if she was an aunt.
“There are caves down by the dock. Wanna go see ’em?”
“I’m not crazy about caves, Merell. They make me nervous.” Aunt Roxanne looked up at the sky. “Besides, I think we’re going
to get some rain.”
Merell took her hand and gently squeezed it. “It’s safe.”
She explained that in the spring when the snow at higher elevations melted, the creeks overflowed and runoff dug rivulets
down the hillsides and the level of the lake rose. In the summertime it retreated as water was regularly released to irrigate
the farms in the San Joaquin Valley. By Labor Day the water line was several feet below where it had been in the spring.
“Last
talked to her in a silly squeaky voice that made Olivia laugh and Merell’s stomach feel warm. After lunch Aunt Roxanne asked
Merell to give her a tour of the compound. The twins wanted to come along but Franny said they were too rambunctious and if
they didn’t settle down she was going to tie them to a post.
On the west side of the house there was a play yard and in it was the playhouse Merell shared with the twins. It had a pointed
roof and a chimney and a pretend fireplace. Sometimes they imagined it was a school and Merell was the teacher.
“The twins can’t even count.”
They walked beyond the playhouse to the big piece of land where Daddy was going to build the tennis courts next summer. Chowder
raced among the trees, and Merell talked and Aunt Roxanne didn’t tell her to be quiet.
Merell asked, “Do you have a best friend?”
“Sure. You know Elizabeth.”
She would have liked it if Aunt Roxanne said that she, Merell, was her best friend; but she knew this was a silly wish.
“Does she sleep over sometimes?”
“Not anymore, but we used to share an apartment.”
This sounded wonderful to Merell. “Do you tell her secrets?”
“Sometimes.”
“What kind of secrets?”
“I don’t remember any of them so they must not have been very important.”
They leaned against the wall at the edge of the cliff, their arms folded on the cold stone.
“Our house was in a magazine,” Merell said. “Daddy has a copy of it in his study.” She laughed, thinking how silly one of
the skinny models looked standing on the roof in a long purple dress. “Daddy says we’re not to call it a house. It’s a cottage
and all the land around it? That’s the compound.”
The sky was dark with clouds now and the wind blew hard. In the middle of the lake a pair of kayaks fought their way against
the wind.
“If they sink they’ll go down to Vermillion. That’s the town under the water. Daddy says there was this old man who lived
there and when the engineers came and told him he had to go or he’d be drowned, he said he didn’t care. So they just left
him. With his dog and a mule.Their bones are all down at the bottom.” Merell stared at the water. “I don’t like to think about him. About drowning.”
Roxanne took her hand.
Merell said, “If I tell you a secret, will you promise not to tell anyone? Cross your heart?”
All day long she had been thinking about the promise she had made to Gramma Ellen, feeling it in her head like one of Mommy’s
meany-men. She had not wanted to promise in the first place, and wished that instead she’d been brave enough to walk away,
out of the room to one of her hiding places until everyone forgot about what happened at the pool, although she was afraid
that wouldn’t be for years and years. It was a weary thing to carry an important secret alone.
“Merell, the thing about a secret is, once you share it with someone, it’s not really a secret anymore.”
Merell scuffed the toe of her sneaker into the lawn so hard she dug up a divot of grass. She held her breath and wished hard
that Aunt Roxanne would change her mind and promise not to tell. But a teacher hardly ever changed her mind about anything,
even if she was an aunt.
“There are caves down by the dock. Wanna go see ’em?”
“I’m not crazy about caves, Merell. They make me nervous.” Aunt Roxanne looked up at the sky. “Besides, I think we’re going
to get some rain.”
Merell took her hand and gently squeezed it. “It’s safe.”
She explained that in the spring when the snow at higher elevations melted, the creeks overflowed and runoff dug rivulets
down the hillsides and the level of the lake rose. In the summertime it retreated as water was regularly released to irrigate
the farms in the San Joaquin Valley. By Labor Day the water line was several feet below where it had been in the spring.
“Last
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