The Girl Who Wasn't by Heather Hildenbrand

me, GI Joe? Because that
wouldn’t be very smart.”
    “ I’m simply reiterating the
lady’s request.” Linc’s tone is even, giving nothing away, but I
see his fingers curl slightly inward.
    Linc and Daniel regard one another. The
air is heavy with tension. Finally, Daniel blinks and mutters under
his breath. I catch the words “replaced” and “early” before he
grabs his jacket off the arm of the sofa and stomps out.
    I don’t move until I hear the outer
door—the one that will take him to the elevator—opening and closing
behind him.
    When I move to leave, Linc steps into
my path, blocking me. I don’t want to look at him. If I see pity in
his expression, I think I’ll lose it. All of the layers I’ve
stacked so carefully between me and the rest of the world feel
cracked and broken. My wall is close to crumbling in this moment
and I refuse to let him see that. To let Titus hear about it. He is
not worth dying over, either.
    “ Are you all
right?”
    It’s anger I hear in his voice, not
concern, and that intrigues me. I raise my face to his. There is
more anger there. And something else, but it is not pity or
suspicion as I feared. I exhale.
    “ I’ll be fine,” I
manage.
    “ Are you sure? Because
you’ve never—” He breaks off, his expression clouding.
    “ I’ve never
what?”
    He is silent and unwilling to look at
me. Suddenly, I need to know what it is Authentic Raven has never
done. And why he’s noticed.
    “ You’ve never turned down a
boy,” he says quietly.
    My cheeks heat but this time it is not
from anger. “Oh.” My face burns with an emotion that feels foreign.
I sidestep him and make for my bedroom. By the time I’m inside, I
realize what it is that made me flee from his words. It is
shame.
    I am ashamed for something I’ve never
done.

Chapter Seven
     
     
    Titus is not at breakfast the next
morning. It is a welcome relief until Maria brings me the note he’s
left in his absence:
    Your early dismissal of
Daniel last evening leads me to believe you are not yourself after
all the excitement of the past few days. Gus will escort you to the
gym after breakfast. Exercise is paramount to mental health.
–Titus
    Revulsion courses through me as I
realize even Raven’s father condones her exploits. I read the words
three times before I am convinced there is no hidden threat. Titus
doesn’t know what happened last night. Not truly.
    The last line is a stark reminder of
what I am—and gives me pause. It is the same slogan painted in
block letters above the gym doors and on multiple walls throughout
Twig City. I wonder how Titus knows so much about where I come
from.
    I am no longer hungry but I’ll need the
calories now, so I fold the paper and lay it aside while I finish
eating. The routine of exercise is nothing new, but I’m still weak
from the hit I sustained on the rooftop—and the one Titus dealt me
when I got home. Plus I haven’t been sleeping well. I doubt any of
this will matter to Gus.
    I swallow the rest of my eggs without
chewing and chase it with juice. Gus is there before my plate has
been cleared. Wishing he were Linc, I rise and follow him out. He
leads me down a hall I don’t recognize and we take a flight of
stairs down to a lower level I didn’t know existed as part of this
apartment. I pay close attention to details like doors and exit
signs before I curse myself for the futility.
    Although I know I’m imagining it, I
swear I can feel the GPS in my arm pulsing to the beat of my heart
as I walk. Taunting me. Reminding me there is no escape. Only duty
and purpose.
    “ You can change here,” Gus
says.
    I’m left alone in a small room with a
cabinet full of sports bras and Lycra shorts. There isn’t enough
material on either for my taste, and when I emerge, I feel naked.
Gus gives me a cursory glance but the other two guards who’ve
positioned themselves near the exits give me a thorough once-over
that makes my skin crawl. I do my best to ignore them