you will be sharing this book with) who simply took the time to write down all the best coffee-talk-philosophies I've ever heard. You know, all the war-story wisdom and homemade terms that you and all your friends, and I and all my friends, have been laughing over for years. I am also an actress you may have seen in many television shows like,
The Drew Carey Show, Roswell,
and
Arliss
(and hopefully by the time this is published, you'll have also seen me in a couple of good movies). Currently, I am the female star opposite Denis Leary on that “little cop show” on ABC.
But most of you will know me best from my years on that MTV show
Loveline.
Yeah, that's me, the one with the big laugh, flippy hair, and pretty strong opinions about anything I could get a word in edgewise on. After listening to 165 episodes of what's on women's minds, I know how much we really need a laugh. Playing young America's female voice on TV, giving lectures at universities across the country, and generally keeping my eyes open when I leave the house have shown me more than ever how much we also have to be thankful for.
However, what really qualifies me to write this book is the most exceptional gift I have been given: I have always been blessed with a glorious array of girlfriends. I was lucky enough to have two great brothers, but nothing in the sister department. Nothing biological, anyway…and I think girls who are sisterless sometimes work harder to find special women to grow up beside, all their lives. There are at least thirty-five women in my life who have saved me thousands of hours of therapy. Actually, they are my therapy. It is they who have inspired this book and, unknowingly, coauthored it with me. We've been writing it together all my life.
And as you chuckle along with me in these pages, you will probably experience a wave of nostalgia yourself. You really should get out that address book and dial up your old friends. I believe losing girlfriends leaves a permanent scar on your soul, so I hope this inspires you to reach out and touch someone, before it's too late.
For me it's the members of “Club 66” who span from first grade to twelfth; the “B-2 warriors” in college; the “British princesses,” who taught me to speak English at university; fellow “waitresses” from NYC (who are the hardest-working actresses I've ever worked with); and finally the “fab chicks” in Los Angeles that I call my closest friends, who consistently prove that real women can survive there.
I
You Speaking in Code
You know those little disclaimers on the sides of cigarettes and alcohol? Well, if your next date came with a warning label, it would contain the following information down the side of his leg. This is the common language of girlfriends who've been there. .
Titles
“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
—ANAÏS NIN
THE BOY
If you change suitors so fast that they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to by this generic title.
For Women Who:
Need to explain to numerous people what's going on in their love life,
Are between the ages of sixteen and twenty-one or over twenty-seven,
Have overbearing mothers and aunts in their life,
Have called off more than one engagement.
As a Modifier: “It's been two months now; I think the boy has reached name status: His name is Dick, and I'm pretty sure he isn't one.”
MR. RIGHT NOW
This is the guy friend of yours who doesn't have a real job, and is always ready and available when you want to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn't remember in the morning. He's not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”
When to Retire Him:
Immediately after college,
When you're not so afraid of a real man,
When he asks you for cab fare home,
After a particularly lonely holiday season.
As an
The Drew Carey Show, Roswell,
and
Arliss
(and hopefully by the time this is published, you'll have also seen me in a couple of good movies). Currently, I am the female star opposite Denis Leary on that “little cop show” on ABC.
But most of you will know me best from my years on that MTV show
Loveline.
Yeah, that's me, the one with the big laugh, flippy hair, and pretty strong opinions about anything I could get a word in edgewise on. After listening to 165 episodes of what's on women's minds, I know how much we really need a laugh. Playing young America's female voice on TV, giving lectures at universities across the country, and generally keeping my eyes open when I leave the house have shown me more than ever how much we also have to be thankful for.
However, what really qualifies me to write this book is the most exceptional gift I have been given: I have always been blessed with a glorious array of girlfriends. I was lucky enough to have two great brothers, but nothing in the sister department. Nothing biological, anyway…and I think girls who are sisterless sometimes work harder to find special women to grow up beside, all their lives. There are at least thirty-five women in my life who have saved me thousands of hours of therapy. Actually, they are my therapy. It is they who have inspired this book and, unknowingly, coauthored it with me. We've been writing it together all my life.
And as you chuckle along with me in these pages, you will probably experience a wave of nostalgia yourself. You really should get out that address book and dial up your old friends. I believe losing girlfriends leaves a permanent scar on your soul, so I hope this inspires you to reach out and touch someone, before it's too late.
For me it's the members of “Club 66” who span from first grade to twelfth; the “B-2 warriors” in college; the “British princesses,” who taught me to speak English at university; fellow “waitresses” from NYC (who are the hardest-working actresses I've ever worked with); and finally the “fab chicks” in Los Angeles that I call my closest friends, who consistently prove that real women can survive there.
I
You Speaking in Code
You know those little disclaimers on the sides of cigarettes and alcohol? Well, if your next date came with a warning label, it would contain the following information down the side of his leg. This is the common language of girlfriends who've been there. .
Titles
“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
—ANAÏS NIN
THE BOY
If you change suitors so fast that they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to by this generic title.
For Women Who:
Need to explain to numerous people what's going on in their love life,
Are between the ages of sixteen and twenty-one or over twenty-seven,
Have overbearing mothers and aunts in their life,
Have called off more than one engagement.
As a Modifier: “It's been two months now; I think the boy has reached name status: His name is Dick, and I'm pretty sure he isn't one.”
MR. RIGHT NOW
This is the guy friend of yours who doesn't have a real job, and is always ready and available when you want to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn't remember in the morning. He's not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”
When to Retire Him:
Immediately after college,
When you're not so afraid of a real man,
When he asks you for cab fare home,
After a particularly lonely holiday season.
As an
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