The Ghost and the Femme Fatale by Alice Kimberly

fault Dr. Rubino’s bedside manner, either.
    Sadie noticed the wink, too. She quickly sidled up to me. “Dr. Rubino seems quite nice, don’t you think?”
    What a stuffed monkey , Jack scoffed. This guy’s got Ivy League written all over him, which means you won’t be able to tell him a thing. He’ll already know it all.
    Ignoring Jack, I watched Dr. Rubino cross the sales floor on his way to the Community Events space.
    “I’m sure he’s married,” I quietly told Sadie.
    Inside of ten seconds, Sadie was beside Eddie whispering questions. Finally, she came back to me.
    “Eddie says he’s divorced,” she confided, “and that’s why he’s doing this work for Ciders—and any other townships in the area that need his ser vices. Apparently he used to have a lot of money; now he has a lot less, but who cares about that? I think he’s quite a catch.”
    Go for it, Betty Boop. See if I care.
    “Stop it! I’m not interested!”
    Sadie frowned and I realized I’d said those words aloud.
    “Well, you don’t have to decide right now,” Sadie replied with a huff. “Give the man a chance to ask you out for coffee!”
    I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry, Aunt Sadie, I didn’t intend to say that to you.”
    “It’s all right, dear,” she said, patting my shoulder. “We’re all a little rattled by Dr. Lilly’s fall.”
    Ten minutes passed, then fifteen. Sadie rearranged books on the film noir display. I moved to the window and watched the crowd thicken outside. The store’s opening hour came and went without anyone emerging from the Events room. I wondered if Buy the Book was going to open at all today—though that was probably the least of our worries at this point.
    Suddenly Seymour pushed himself out of the wooden rocker. “That’s it! I’m out of here,” he declared, checking his Wonder Woman watch. “It’s after ten, and I’ve waited long enough for Chief Ciders to take my statement. If Barney Fife needs to reach me, he knows where I’ll be—working my route, ’cause the mail is like showbiz. It must go on!”
    Officer Franzetti stepped forward. “The chief told me everyone stays here until he takes your statements.”
    “The chief is a local yokel, Pizza Boy,” Seymour shot back. “His authority stretches about as far as Quindicott Pond. The federal government’s interest in an efficient mail ser vice supersedes his meager jurisdiction.”
    Eddie put his hands on his gun belt. “Cut the double talk, Seymour. You’re not going anywhere, no matter what you say—”
    Seymour flushed crimson. “Listen, Franzetti! Step out of the way and you won’t get hurt—”
    “All right, all right, what’s going on here?” Chief Ciders barked. He tramped into the store with Dr. Rubino and young Bull McCoy in tow.
    Yep, quipped Jack. McCoy is Chief Donut’s nephew all right. Same sloped brow and slack jaw. Same funny- farm stare, too .
    “Look, Chief, I’ve got a job to do, too,” Seymour complained. “Either detain me or let me get back to it.”
    Ciders nodded to Eddie. “Let the man go. Tarnish has mail to mis- deliver. I’ll get his statement later, for what it’s worth.”
    “So, you’re finished with your investigation?” Seymour asked as he inched toward the front door.
    “The preliminary phase,” Ciders replied, giving Seymour his back.
    Seymour stopped. “Well?”
    Ciders frowned, looked up from the clipboard in his hand. “Don’t you have work to do?”
    Seymour nodded.
    “Then get the heck out of here!”
    Seymour shrugged and opened the door, smacking into the crowd of film festival fans waiting for the store to open. “Clear a path, people! Official government employee coming through!”
    “Hey, in there, are you eve r going to open?!” someone yelled from the crowd.
    Eddie closed the door.
    I faced Chief Ciders. “Well? Have you completed your investigation?”
    The beefy man sighed. “We’re finished. And you can open, once we’re sure you’re