The Fragile Fall by Kristy Love Page B

bench and sat there, but instead of looking at my screen, I stared out the window. I didn’t like that he was running at night. There were too many potential dangers.
    I was engrossed in my paper when I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I looked at the clock to see how long he was gone—two hours. It was almost midnight. Rushing to my window, I saw him stretching in his driveway. I wished he would tell me what he was running from so I could help him. Maybe if he talked about what was eating him up inside, he’d start to feel better.
    But I couldn’t force him.
    I hated watching him suffer in silence.

Will
    I WAS OUT RUNNING , trying to clear my head. I needed the escape.
    All week I’d made sure to get to any classes I had with Jax right before the bell rang, then left as soon as the class was over, effectively avoiding him. I got permission to use the track at lunch so I could avoid him then as well, and I had ridden the bus to school all week. I wasn’t going to rely on Jax. I was sick of relying on people.
    Ry and Jax hadn’t made it easy to avoid them. I got texts and calls all day, plus they showed up at the door. If Aunt Liv was home, I told her I was working on a project and didn’t want to be distracted, and if she wasn’t home I just ignored them. I thought after a few days, they would get the point, but it didn’t seem to be working. They had started standing outside at my usual running times, so I had to vary the times when I left. Avoiding them had become a job, but I couldn’t stand having them pity me. I hated that they knew how messed up I was.
    After the first time I’d cut, I found myself cutting more often. I couldn’t avoid it. Running and cutting had become my escape, my vices. I couldn’t live without either of them and, unfortunately, I knew I took them to unhealthy levels. Every chance I got, I was outside running. Anytime I was in the bathroom for any length of time, I found myself cutting. It was inevitable and I hated it. It brought me calmness. I couldn’t stop.
    Both of my arms were covered in cuts. It was a good thing the weather was cooler and I could get away with wearing long sleeved shirts all the time because there was no way I’d hide them otherwise.
    I rounded the corner, running toward Aunt Liv’s driveway. I hated that I couldn’t think of it as my home, but it wasn’t. I didn’t have a home anymore. In the driveway, I stopped, doubled over, and tried to catch my breath. Normally, I ran for an hour or two, but today I’d pushed it to three. I needed to clear my head from all the stuff that had been swirling around and I hoped the extra running would allow me to avoid cutting. My muscles burned and shook and I was exhausted, but I felt better. I stretched, easing some of the ache in my muscles, lost in my own world.
    A voice from behind me startled me. “Good run?”
    I looked over my shoulder and saw that Ry was standing right behind me. “Yeah.” I turned back around and continued to stretch. She walked around so she was facing me, making it harder to avoid her. She forced a smile.
    “How have you been this week?”
    “Fine. You?”
    “I’ve been okay, I guess.” She shifted her weight between her feet and looked at something over my shoulder, like she needed to gather courage. There was no way I was going to help her out. I didn’t particularly want to talk to her, but I couldn’t bring myself to be overly rude. “Liv called while you were out running. She invited Jax and me over for dinner.”
    “That’s nice.” Aunt Liv had been bugging me about inviting Jax and Ry over for dinner. I kept blowing her off but eventually, I ran out of excuses.
    “Are you going to be there?”
    “It’s not like I have anywhere else to be.”
    She nodded, then looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry about last Saturday.”
    “Let’s not talk about it.”
    “Okay. I just wanted to say I was sorry. Neither Jax nor I wanted to upset you.”
    “Fine.” I