or something? Don’t try to preach at him, Andy. He knows the gospel. What he needs is acceptance.”
“I’ll do it!” Andy grinned. As always he was ready to plunge headlong into a new venture. He left the room, his head popping with new ideas for “being patient” with his brother. He found Barney raking leaves. “Hey, Barney, put that rake down.”
Barney looked up as Andy came across the yard. He smiled slightly, for he had a great affection for his younger brother. The month at home, away from prison, had brought the color to his cheeks and filled him out. But he slept little, and nightmares brought him bolt upright in the bed, bathed in cold sweat.
“Somebody has to rake the leaves,” he said.
“Let Pat do it,” Andy said, speaking of the yardman. “He likes it.”
“So do I,” Barney remarked. “It feels so good out here.”
Andy looked at Barney, thinking, It’s the little things that seem to give him pleasure. Aloud he said, “It is kind of nice. But I thought you might go with me this afternoon. Not to a service,” he added quickly. “A baseball game. Let’s take it in.”
Barney smiled. He loved baseball. “I’d like that. Just let me finish raking these leaves.”
“Go ahead. We’ll leave after lunch.”
Andy ran back into the house to tell his mother. “All right, boss lady, I did what you said. Barney and I are going to the ball game this afternoon.” He turned, then stopped and grinned. “ And I promise not to preach at him!”
****
Andy and Barney enjoyed the game immensely. “That pitcher is something, isn’t he, Andy!” Barney said. “Look at the power in his arm. Wow!”
“He’s got what it takes,” Andy agreed. “Wish I could play like that.”
Barney suddenly looked at him. “I’ve got to talk to you.”
“Why, sure,” Andy said, hope rising in his heart. It was the first effort Barney had made to break his long silence, and Andy was certain his brother was going to open up, maybe even give his heart to the Lord. “Let’s have it, Barney.”
“I don’t really know where to start. Guess I won’t ever be able to say how much it’s meant to me—getting me out of prison and letting me come home.”
“Why, it’s been so good—for us, I mean,” Andy said emphatically. “We’re all expecting great things of you.”
It was the wrong thing to say, a tactless remark that would have made his parents wince.
Barney shook his head. “I don’t want to disappoint you all again, so what I want to tell you is, I’m going to be moving out.”
“Moving out!” Andy stared at Barney in disbelief. “Why, you can’t do that!”
“I can’t do anything else,” he replied. He clasped his big hands in front of him and tried to think of a way to explain how he felt. He had never been good at addressing sensitive issues, especially to Andy, and sweat broke out on his forehead as he struggled for words.
“Look, Andy, I’ve caused enough trouble for you all. It was bad when I left home the first time. I know you all hated what I was doing, but I had to get away. It was like I was being—I don’t know, squeezed. ”
“It’s your home, Barney. We’re your family.”
“You are, but I’m just different.” He looked at his brother, adding quietly, “You’re the smartest person I know, Andy, but you’ve never been able to see that I’m not like you.”
After a moment he went on. “I haven’t told Mom and Dad. They’re going to hate it.”
Andy was stunned. “What are you going to do?”
“Same thing. Go back to fighting.” He caught the distaste in Andy’s eyes and said, “Sure, it’s a rotten way to live. But it’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”
Andy wanted to argue, but he saw that Barney’s jaw was stubbornly set. “It’ll be hard on the folks.”
“I realize that,” Barney murmured. “But I’ve got to do it, Andy. Come on. Let’s go home. I may as well get it over with.”
****
Benny Meyers couldn’t
“I’ll do it!” Andy grinned. As always he was ready to plunge headlong into a new venture. He left the room, his head popping with new ideas for “being patient” with his brother. He found Barney raking leaves. “Hey, Barney, put that rake down.”
Barney looked up as Andy came across the yard. He smiled slightly, for he had a great affection for his younger brother. The month at home, away from prison, had brought the color to his cheeks and filled him out. But he slept little, and nightmares brought him bolt upright in the bed, bathed in cold sweat.
“Somebody has to rake the leaves,” he said.
“Let Pat do it,” Andy said, speaking of the yardman. “He likes it.”
“So do I,” Barney remarked. “It feels so good out here.”
Andy looked at Barney, thinking, It’s the little things that seem to give him pleasure. Aloud he said, “It is kind of nice. But I thought you might go with me this afternoon. Not to a service,” he added quickly. “A baseball game. Let’s take it in.”
Barney smiled. He loved baseball. “I’d like that. Just let me finish raking these leaves.”
“Go ahead. We’ll leave after lunch.”
Andy ran back into the house to tell his mother. “All right, boss lady, I did what you said. Barney and I are going to the ball game this afternoon.” He turned, then stopped and grinned. “ And I promise not to preach at him!”
****
Andy and Barney enjoyed the game immensely. “That pitcher is something, isn’t he, Andy!” Barney said. “Look at the power in his arm. Wow!”
“He’s got what it takes,” Andy agreed. “Wish I could play like that.”
Barney suddenly looked at him. “I’ve got to talk to you.”
“Why, sure,” Andy said, hope rising in his heart. It was the first effort Barney had made to break his long silence, and Andy was certain his brother was going to open up, maybe even give his heart to the Lord. “Let’s have it, Barney.”
“I don’t really know where to start. Guess I won’t ever be able to say how much it’s meant to me—getting me out of prison and letting me come home.”
“Why, it’s been so good—for us, I mean,” Andy said emphatically. “We’re all expecting great things of you.”
It was the wrong thing to say, a tactless remark that would have made his parents wince.
Barney shook his head. “I don’t want to disappoint you all again, so what I want to tell you is, I’m going to be moving out.”
“Moving out!” Andy stared at Barney in disbelief. “Why, you can’t do that!”
“I can’t do anything else,” he replied. He clasped his big hands in front of him and tried to think of a way to explain how he felt. He had never been good at addressing sensitive issues, especially to Andy, and sweat broke out on his forehead as he struggled for words.
“Look, Andy, I’ve caused enough trouble for you all. It was bad when I left home the first time. I know you all hated what I was doing, but I had to get away. It was like I was being—I don’t know, squeezed. ”
“It’s your home, Barney. We’re your family.”
“You are, but I’m just different.” He looked at his brother, adding quietly, “You’re the smartest person I know, Andy, but you’ve never been able to see that I’m not like you.”
After a moment he went on. “I haven’t told Mom and Dad. They’re going to hate it.”
Andy was stunned. “What are you going to do?”
“Same thing. Go back to fighting.” He caught the distaste in Andy’s eyes and said, “Sure, it’s a rotten way to live. But it’s the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”
Andy wanted to argue, but he saw that Barney’s jaw was stubbornly set. “It’ll be hard on the folks.”
“I realize that,” Barney murmured. “But I’ve got to do it, Andy. Come on. Let’s go home. I may as well get it over with.”
****
Benny Meyers couldn’t
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