wonderful, Saul. Truly noble and…and visionary. Of course I’ll support you. You know I will. I can’t think of anything I’d want to support more than what you are planning.’
‘And your assurance? Do I have that as well? It’s important, Giselle, because there is bound to be pressurefrom the old guard here. If we don’t have a child then they won’t have a prospective heir on which to hang their arguments for maintaining the status quo.’
‘You have my assurance,’ Giselle promised him. How she had managed to be so lucky she didn’t know, but whatever the cause of her release from the torment she had been suffering she was grateful to it. ‘I love your plans for a democracy, but you’ll face an awful lot of opposition from Aldo’s ministers and courtiers,’ she warned Saul.
‘I like opposition,’ he responded with a glint in his eyes. ‘You of all people should know that. Remember how you fought against me?’
‘Since I had to fight against you, and against wanting you, it was no wonder I lost. And in losing I won the greatest prize of all,’ Giselle said softly.
Later that day, sitting on the rug they had spread out on the sun-warmed sand of a tiny lakeside bay, with Saul lying stretched out, his head pillowed on her lap, Giselle thought that this day—this afternoon, this minute of time—must be the happiest she had ever had. Her guilt had been lifted from her, to float away as easily and lightly as the small white clouds high above them in the blue sky, and the perfection of their surroundings echoed the perfection of their love and her happiness in it.
There was nothing for her to fear any more, nothing that could hurt her now. She need not worry any longerabout what she had been too afraid to tell Saul because it no longer mattered. She was safe. Their love was safe, and would remain safe for ever.
Chapter Seven
T WO MONTHS LATER, AS she sat staring at the calendar on her desk, Giselle wondered bleakly how she could ever have been foolish enough to believe that she would escape so easily.
She desperately wanted—no, needed to believe that she was completely and totally wrong in her suspicions, but the calendar could not lie and neither could her body. The first month she had simply assumed that the frightening and unwanted suspension of the familiar regular rhythm of her periods had been caused by the stress and the turmoil of their lives following the shocking news of Aldo’s death. But now she had missed a second period as well.
Initially, when her period had not materialised, she had told herself that it was silly to worry since after all she was losing weight, if anything, not gaining it. Nor had she been sick at all—apart from the time she had felt so desperately nauseous when they had first arrived in the country, and that had been caused by the effects of Aldo’s death, a long-haul flight, and her fears about the future.
She had certainly not experienced any other changesin in her body that she might have attributed to pregnancy. But would she have deliberately ignored them had they manifested themselves? No, she insisted to herself, because she had not had them.
She knew that she hadn’t missed a single birth pill, and after missing that first period she had dismissed the entire matter from her thoughts. Or at least she had tried to pretend to herself that she had. However, as the due date for the start of her next period had grown closer her stomach had started to churn with anxiety. And now that date had come and gone—over a week ago—and still nothing had happened. There was a cold lump of fear and disbelief lodged in the pit of her stomach. She remembered that bout of nausea, and the fact that sickness could eliminate the effectiveness of the birth control pill. But surely she could not be pregnant? Fate could not be so cruel when it knew that she must not be pregnant. Not only because of the secret fear she carried inside her head, but also because Saul had made
‘And your assurance? Do I have that as well? It’s important, Giselle, because there is bound to be pressurefrom the old guard here. If we don’t have a child then they won’t have a prospective heir on which to hang their arguments for maintaining the status quo.’
‘You have my assurance,’ Giselle promised him. How she had managed to be so lucky she didn’t know, but whatever the cause of her release from the torment she had been suffering she was grateful to it. ‘I love your plans for a democracy, but you’ll face an awful lot of opposition from Aldo’s ministers and courtiers,’ she warned Saul.
‘I like opposition,’ he responded with a glint in his eyes. ‘You of all people should know that. Remember how you fought against me?’
‘Since I had to fight against you, and against wanting you, it was no wonder I lost. And in losing I won the greatest prize of all,’ Giselle said softly.
Later that day, sitting on the rug they had spread out on the sun-warmed sand of a tiny lakeside bay, with Saul lying stretched out, his head pillowed on her lap, Giselle thought that this day—this afternoon, this minute of time—must be the happiest she had ever had. Her guilt had been lifted from her, to float away as easily and lightly as the small white clouds high above them in the blue sky, and the perfection of their surroundings echoed the perfection of their love and her happiness in it.
There was nothing for her to fear any more, nothing that could hurt her now. She need not worry any longerabout what she had been too afraid to tell Saul because it no longer mattered. She was safe. Their love was safe, and would remain safe for ever.
Chapter Seven
T WO MONTHS LATER, AS she sat staring at the calendar on her desk, Giselle wondered bleakly how she could ever have been foolish enough to believe that she would escape so easily.
She desperately wanted—no, needed to believe that she was completely and totally wrong in her suspicions, but the calendar could not lie and neither could her body. The first month she had simply assumed that the frightening and unwanted suspension of the familiar regular rhythm of her periods had been caused by the stress and the turmoil of their lives following the shocking news of Aldo’s death. But now she had missed a second period as well.
Initially, when her period had not materialised, she had told herself that it was silly to worry since after all she was losing weight, if anything, not gaining it. Nor had she been sick at all—apart from the time she had felt so desperately nauseous when they had first arrived in the country, and that had been caused by the effects of Aldo’s death, a long-haul flight, and her fears about the future.
She had certainly not experienced any other changesin in her body that she might have attributed to pregnancy. But would she have deliberately ignored them had they manifested themselves? No, she insisted to herself, because she had not had them.
She knew that she hadn’t missed a single birth pill, and after missing that first period she had dismissed the entire matter from her thoughts. Or at least she had tried to pretend to herself that she had. However, as the due date for the start of her next period had grown closer her stomach had started to churn with anxiety. And now that date had come and gone—over a week ago—and still nothing had happened. There was a cold lump of fear and disbelief lodged in the pit of her stomach. She remembered that bout of nausea, and the fact that sickness could eliminate the effectiveness of the birth control pill. But surely she could not be pregnant? Fate could not be so cruel when it knew that she must not be pregnant. Not only because of the secret fear she carried inside her head, but also because Saul had made
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