secret?’ I took a deep breath.
‘ They raped me in turns. One of them wasn’t able to penetrate me, so he used a knife to leave his mark. Not to kill, just to show the power he had over me and to always remind me of that night. As if I needed that,’ I swallowed. ‘How would anyone forget such a thing? I will never bear children.’
Holmes had turned stiff during my narrative and I saw his knuckles turn white as his hands held on to his knees.
‘ It is in the past, they don’t haunt me anymore.’
He stared at me , astonished.
‘ It is my life; I cannot live it when I’m full of hate,’ I explained.
‘ But you leave them free to rape again?’ There was accusation in his voice, but it did not offend me. I felt strangely balanced.
‘ No. They know I come after them should they cross the line.’
‘ You live in London,’ he noted dryly.
‘ But I have friends. They will let me know when it’s time to pay a visit.’
He looked doubtful.
‘ You have never seen me angry,’ I hinted.
‘ Have I not?’
I had to smile at his surprise and said : ‘I got my father’s shot gun, sawed the barrel off to fit it under my coat, and followed them two weeks after the… incident . The man who used the knife gave me the most trouble; I had to shoot him in his right foot to leave any impression at all. He is still limping. The other two only got an imprint of the gun’s butt in their faces.’
Holmes raised his eyebrows.
‘ Are you shocked?’ I asked quietly.
‘ No.’
His answer had come too fast to be believable and he had noticed that, too. He examined the night sky for a while and then muttered: ‘It is complicated.’
I waited a long time, but he did not elaborate further on the matter. Strangely, my upset heart wouldn’t calm itself. It galloped like a foal. I grew aware of the man next to me and noticed the complete lack of distance, both physical and emotional.
‘ I’m shocked, too,’ I whispered, rose to my feet and packed my rucksack, left the blanket where it lay, and went back to the lake.
Chapter Nine
Two days ago on September the 10 th , an unidentified female torso had been found under a railway arch in Pinchin Street. No other body parts were found in the vicinity. The papers were full of it and all of London suspected Jack the Ripper, except for Holmes. Again, Bobbies where swarming Whitechapel and any other slum in London, making it exceedingly difficult for me to change from Anna into Anton and back again.
During the last weeks, Holmes had spent considerable time disguised as a pauper, but had now focused his energies on the to rso case. Our two dead men were still unidentified. I, however, had other things demanding my attention as well.
The government had awarded me with a substantial grant for the isolation of tetanus germs. A visit at Robert Koch's laboratory in Berlin was included in the funding. In two weeks time I would leave London for the whole of three m onths. The prospect of seeing my father again made me feel rather fluttery in my chest.
Despite the exciting news, my stomach wouldn’t stop aching - I was certain the word had spread and the men behind the Broadmoor experiments had their eyes on me already.
~~~
I was at home when an urgent knock interrupted my kitchen scrubbing.
‘ Yes?’ I called and Barry opened my door. He stood in the door frame, a small boy of ten years, pale-faced underneath the grime, and his hands shaking. The whole boy was a picture of great agitation.
‘ What is it?’ I said dropping the rag in the bucket.
‘ Me mum,’ he croaked, ‘is very sick.’
I nodded, snatched my doctor’s bag, and we were both out the door in less than a minute.
He lived just around the corner in a two storey house, of which the mould had taken hostage many years ago. The privy was overflowing, as it had to accommodate for the thirty or so inhabitants, all in various stages of utmost poverty. Without a single window or door intact, the house
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