countess,” Catherine admitted. “But I don’t understand this at all. What is she to the count? I thought she had been here since long before his marriage to Alys. Oh, Edgar, why are people’s lives so tangled? Things should move in straight lines, nice and clear, from birth to heaven, without all this pain.”
Edgar held her more tightly, his cheek against the curls that had once again tumbled loose onto her forehead.
“So they should,” he said. “So ours should. But I have no power to make it happen. I wish I did, min leoffœst .”
Catherine sighed and then smiled as she felt the roughness of his jaw against her face. She ran her fingers across the stubble on his chin.
“I’m glad you don’t,” she said. “You’d be insufferable if you were omnipotent.”
“Catherine.” He kissed her again, thoroughly enough that she began to wonder whether the ground were very uncomfortable and whether a bit more mud on her robes would be that obvious. With an effort, she broke away.
“Edgar, it’s Easter Vigil,” she reminded them both.
“Yes, yes.” He inhaled deeply to clear his head. “You are quite right, and the rain seems to have started again. We should return at once.”
They hurried back to the guesthouse, but not quickly enough. Prioress Astane stood at the door, arms crossed.
“Catherine,” she said. “I saw you leave the cloister. And now you return alone with this man! I cannot allow such flouting of the rules of proper behavior. You gave no thought to the reputation of your community. I’m ashamed of you.”
Edgar stepped in front of Catherine.
“She is not a member of your community any longer, Sister,” he said. “She is my betrothed and we have done nothing dishonorable.”
Astane nodded. “I’m glad to hear it. Nevertheless, Catherine, Sister Bertrada has instructed me that you will stay with Sister Melisande in the infirmary until you leave us. She has felt all along that you shouldn’t be allowed to remain in the dormitory with those who have dedicated their lives and chastity to Our Lord.”
Catherine’s heart sank, but she nodded acquiescence. Edgar started to protest.
“No, Sister Bertrada is right,” Catherine said. “I was only allowed to stay with the other sisters because of Mother Héloïse’s kindness and because there was nowhere else for me. It’s not an expulsion, Edgar. I’ve made my choice. I don’t mind.”
Edgar gave in. “I’ll go find Astrolabe. And tomorrow, you can stand next to me in the transept and not hide from the world in the choir anymore.”
He turned to go, then stopped and took a small leather bag from around his neck.
“I almost forgot,” he said. “I brought you a present. It’s not much but I thought you might like it because the old one that Garnulf made for you was lost. Take it now, as a talisman.”
He tossed the bag to her as Sister Astane opened the gate and led her in.
“We’re not really angry with you, you know,” she whispered to Catherine. “He seems a nice boy. Master Abelard speaks very highly of him. But you must think of our reputation.”
“I know, Sister. I am sorry,” Catherine told her.
Sister Melisande was at Compline when Catherine arrived at her small room above the infirmary. A pallet had been made up on the floor and Catherine took possession of it at once, knowing that the infirmarian would otherwise insist on giving up her own bed.
So, her voices began. You’ve finally crossed the Rubicon. About time, too. Aren’t you ashamed?
We didn’t do anything, yet! Catherine protested.
Only because you couldn’t find a dry place to throw yourselves! they taunted. But that’s what you wanted to do, Catherine, and intention is what matters. At feast be honest. Somehow you thought you could be a part of the convent without obeying the Rule. That’s the worst hypocrisy. Admit that the door to the cloister is now closed to you and start living a decent secular life, if that’s possible for
Edgar held her more tightly, his cheek against the curls that had once again tumbled loose onto her forehead.
“So they should,” he said. “So ours should. But I have no power to make it happen. I wish I did, min leoffœst .”
Catherine sighed and then smiled as she felt the roughness of his jaw against her face. She ran her fingers across the stubble on his chin.
“I’m glad you don’t,” she said. “You’d be insufferable if you were omnipotent.”
“Catherine.” He kissed her again, thoroughly enough that she began to wonder whether the ground were very uncomfortable and whether a bit more mud on her robes would be that obvious. With an effort, she broke away.
“Edgar, it’s Easter Vigil,” she reminded them both.
“Yes, yes.” He inhaled deeply to clear his head. “You are quite right, and the rain seems to have started again. We should return at once.”
They hurried back to the guesthouse, but not quickly enough. Prioress Astane stood at the door, arms crossed.
“Catherine,” she said. “I saw you leave the cloister. And now you return alone with this man! I cannot allow such flouting of the rules of proper behavior. You gave no thought to the reputation of your community. I’m ashamed of you.”
Edgar stepped in front of Catherine.
“She is not a member of your community any longer, Sister,” he said. “She is my betrothed and we have done nothing dishonorable.”
Astane nodded. “I’m glad to hear it. Nevertheless, Catherine, Sister Bertrada has instructed me that you will stay with Sister Melisande in the infirmary until you leave us. She has felt all along that you shouldn’t be allowed to remain in the dormitory with those who have dedicated their lives and chastity to Our Lord.”
Catherine’s heart sank, but she nodded acquiescence. Edgar started to protest.
“No, Sister Bertrada is right,” Catherine said. “I was only allowed to stay with the other sisters because of Mother Héloïse’s kindness and because there was nowhere else for me. It’s not an expulsion, Edgar. I’ve made my choice. I don’t mind.”
Edgar gave in. “I’ll go find Astrolabe. And tomorrow, you can stand next to me in the transept and not hide from the world in the choir anymore.”
He turned to go, then stopped and took a small leather bag from around his neck.
“I almost forgot,” he said. “I brought you a present. It’s not much but I thought you might like it because the old one that Garnulf made for you was lost. Take it now, as a talisman.”
He tossed the bag to her as Sister Astane opened the gate and led her in.
“We’re not really angry with you, you know,” she whispered to Catherine. “He seems a nice boy. Master Abelard speaks very highly of him. But you must think of our reputation.”
“I know, Sister. I am sorry,” Catherine told her.
Sister Melisande was at Compline when Catherine arrived at her small room above the infirmary. A pallet had been made up on the floor and Catherine took possession of it at once, knowing that the infirmarian would otherwise insist on giving up her own bed.
So, her voices began. You’ve finally crossed the Rubicon. About time, too. Aren’t you ashamed?
We didn’t do anything, yet! Catherine protested.
Only because you couldn’t find a dry place to throw yourselves! they taunted. But that’s what you wanted to do, Catherine, and intention is what matters. At feast be honest. Somehow you thought you could be a part of the convent without obeying the Rule. That’s the worst hypocrisy. Admit that the door to the cloister is now closed to you and start living a decent secular life, if that’s possible for
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