givin' him the sweet dreams. Ol' Vlad here wanted to try some of my Purple Haze. I only give the love grass to those who ask for it, man.”
“You piece of...” started Max. “Vlad?”
“Yeah dude, old Vlad and me are dudes! We're tight, ya know?”
This announcement totally derailed Max's anger. “Why do you call him Vlad?”
“Well, like, he told me, dude.”
“That is not possible. He can't talk, he doesn't have any lungs.”
“I let him use mine, dig? Here...” He reached over and grabbed Old Bone again. He addressed the head, “Vlad, say hi to my good bud Max!” He brought the head's trachea up to his mouth, ignored the ragged bits of flesh dangling from it, pointed the head's face towards Max, pushed his swinging jaw closed, took a deep breath, and blew.
As Josh blew, Old Bone's mouth and tongue started working. Out came something that sounded like a breathy whisper, “hehehe, hehehe, hehehe.”
Max whirled on Joe. “That's not just marijuana. What else did you give him?”
Josh smiled. “He looked awfully uptight, so I gave him a couple magic 'shrooms.”
“Get out. Get the fuck out of my house!”
“Whoa dude, I don't think this is your house man, I think it’s his.” He pointed up to the cloud of smoke on the ceiling. In spite of himself, Max looked up at the cloud of smoke roiling above him. It wasn't moving like a regular cloud. As he watched, a face formed from the smoke sporting wide eyes and an even wider grin. A phantom arm and hand of smoke gave Max a finger twiddling salute before the whole specter seemed to drift out of focus.
When Max saw that, he knew he had left all semblance of normality behind—dead on the road. The final nail in that coffin was pounding out behind him on the television, Hendrix's “Purple Haze.”
Suddenly, even Hendrix’s guitar couldn't keep Max in the house any longer. He turned woodenly and walked out the front door leaving it wide open behind him. He got in his car and drove away while echoes of “Purple Haze” drifted through his mind.
Merciful Aid
Max didn't actually know where he was going till he pulled into the hospital parking lot. He found a parking spot easily in the sparsely used lot. He pulled in, turned off the car, and just sat there with his mind blank. He looked out at the trees and houses his car faced without actually seeing them.
After about fifteen minutes of zombieing out, Max was startled by a rapping on his driver side window. He jumped in his seat, and looked out to see Alice's pretty face staring at him with concern. He fumbled with the window controls. When he finally got it down, he and gave her a weak, “Hi.”
“Max, what's going on? You looked like you were a million miles away. Are you okay? Did something else happen?”
Max shook his head helplessly. “I don't know what's happening any more Alice. My life has slipped into never-never land.”
Alice's look of concern deepened. “You poor dear, what's going on?”
He fell silent a moment. He didn't want Alice to think he was utterly insane. The picture of Josh blowing into the base of Old Bone's (he just couldn't think of him as Vlad) neck kept coming back unbidden into his mind. He took a deep, calming breath and then said, “What I would really like right now would be to take you to lunch. Are you available?”
Alice arched her eyes at Max. “Why Mr. Faust, I hardly know you. How can I be sure your intentions are honorable?”
Max smiled weakly. “How can you say that? You've bandaged me up more times than my mother. That hardly qualifies us as strangers.”
“Well sir, I never saw anything more than skin deep. If I dig a little deeper, I might find a wolf.” He laughed. “Please have lunch with me, Alice. I promise I won't bite and I don't have any desire to know where your grandmother lives.”
“Oh, I shouldn't, but okay.”
Max smiled his virgin-melting smile (a father's nightmare) and told her to hop in.
***
Max and Alice sat in a
“You piece of...” started Max. “Vlad?”
“Yeah dude, old Vlad and me are dudes! We're tight, ya know?”
This announcement totally derailed Max's anger. “Why do you call him Vlad?”
“Well, like, he told me, dude.”
“That is not possible. He can't talk, he doesn't have any lungs.”
“I let him use mine, dig? Here...” He reached over and grabbed Old Bone again. He addressed the head, “Vlad, say hi to my good bud Max!” He brought the head's trachea up to his mouth, ignored the ragged bits of flesh dangling from it, pointed the head's face towards Max, pushed his swinging jaw closed, took a deep breath, and blew.
As Josh blew, Old Bone's mouth and tongue started working. Out came something that sounded like a breathy whisper, “hehehe, hehehe, hehehe.”
Max whirled on Joe. “That's not just marijuana. What else did you give him?”
Josh smiled. “He looked awfully uptight, so I gave him a couple magic 'shrooms.”
“Get out. Get the fuck out of my house!”
“Whoa dude, I don't think this is your house man, I think it’s his.” He pointed up to the cloud of smoke on the ceiling. In spite of himself, Max looked up at the cloud of smoke roiling above him. It wasn't moving like a regular cloud. As he watched, a face formed from the smoke sporting wide eyes and an even wider grin. A phantom arm and hand of smoke gave Max a finger twiddling salute before the whole specter seemed to drift out of focus.
When Max saw that, he knew he had left all semblance of normality behind—dead on the road. The final nail in that coffin was pounding out behind him on the television, Hendrix's “Purple Haze.”
Suddenly, even Hendrix’s guitar couldn't keep Max in the house any longer. He turned woodenly and walked out the front door leaving it wide open behind him. He got in his car and drove away while echoes of “Purple Haze” drifted through his mind.
Merciful Aid
Max didn't actually know where he was going till he pulled into the hospital parking lot. He found a parking spot easily in the sparsely used lot. He pulled in, turned off the car, and just sat there with his mind blank. He looked out at the trees and houses his car faced without actually seeing them.
After about fifteen minutes of zombieing out, Max was startled by a rapping on his driver side window. He jumped in his seat, and looked out to see Alice's pretty face staring at him with concern. He fumbled with the window controls. When he finally got it down, he and gave her a weak, “Hi.”
“Max, what's going on? You looked like you were a million miles away. Are you okay? Did something else happen?”
Max shook his head helplessly. “I don't know what's happening any more Alice. My life has slipped into never-never land.”
Alice's look of concern deepened. “You poor dear, what's going on?”
He fell silent a moment. He didn't want Alice to think he was utterly insane. The picture of Josh blowing into the base of Old Bone's (he just couldn't think of him as Vlad) neck kept coming back unbidden into his mind. He took a deep, calming breath and then said, “What I would really like right now would be to take you to lunch. Are you available?”
Alice arched her eyes at Max. “Why Mr. Faust, I hardly know you. How can I be sure your intentions are honorable?”
Max smiled weakly. “How can you say that? You've bandaged me up more times than my mother. That hardly qualifies us as strangers.”
“Well sir, I never saw anything more than skin deep. If I dig a little deeper, I might find a wolf.” He laughed. “Please have lunch with me, Alice. I promise I won't bite and I don't have any desire to know where your grandmother lives.”
“Oh, I shouldn't, but okay.”
Max smiled his virgin-melting smile (a father's nightmare) and told her to hop in.
***
Max and Alice sat in a
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