The Desire to Touch by N Taylor

machine and spot a space at the front next to an old lady. She looks like the kind old person you’d want to hold tight and take home but for now I’ll just sit next to her as Brendan may not appreciate the extra house guest. I sit next to her and smile politely, I pop my earphones in and set my iPhone to play songs at random. The last of the people get on the bus and we slowly pull away. Looking out of the window, I see Trey has pulled up further down the road and he’s emerging from the driver side - too little too late Mr. Thomas.
     
    Its 8pm and the TV is boring me, I have eaten all the crisps and chocolate in the cupboard and I have drunk a whole bottle of Coke – I am fit to burst.
    Nothing like sitting in your pyjamas feeling sor ry for yourself, I glance at the door and recall the unbelievable events of last night again. Oh why didn’t I just stick around and talk to him? My Devil rouses with a chocolate covered face and flaps her hand at me to shoo me away, Angel girl is sitting reading a diet book and not removing her eyes from it she mutters ‘ Would’ve done no good ’. Argh I could kick myself. Well if I hadn’t eaten the entire contents of our cupboards I could probably reach to kick myself but right now I will struggle to bend, let alone move!
    The TV sound fades into the background as I lay my head back and st are out at the New York Skyline. In the dark all the twinkling lights of apartment blocks and businesses are like looking out onto a sea of stars.
    Oh I have to admit I am one messed up puppy.
    My phone rings interrupting my self-loathing state, I grab my phone and its Lucas.
    “Hey.”
    “Hey Doll, I just wanted to check you got home ok and to apologise again for my low blows earlier.”
    “It’s ok, like I said don’t worry about it and yes I got home fine, about an hour and a bit ago.”
    “So what happened?”
    O h damn it, I’ll have to tell him about last night after today’s fiasco; it’s just he’s going to feel some compelling need to go all ‘Big Brother’ on me. Regardless of the end result, I go through last night and then today after he left as quickly as possible.
    “What the fuck Ellie? Why didn’t you tell me any of this earlier?”
    “Well shopping distracted me and I was going to tell you over food but Julian happened.”
    “Oh `Doll face you really should’ve told me, if I ever see that ass I’ll let rip at him.”
    “No Lucas he probably won’t even know my name in a week’s time. Anyway you had issues of your own going on earlier.”
    “PLEASE! Do not remind me, I’d rather not talk about it.”
    “Ok, ok I won’t push you.”
    “Listen doll we don’t all wear our scars on the outside.”
    “Enough said. So, any skirt you’ve earmarked for tonight’s after party?”
    Lucas laughs, “There’s always skirt,” he moves away from the phone to say something, “Listen babe, I got to go there’s some kind of issue with the mic and feedback. But listen - I want to see you tomorrow so we can chat, I know you and I don’t want you second-guessing yourself.”
    “Yes Dad.”
    “Ok lunchtime, I’ll meet you at work, bye love you!”
    “Ok bye love you,” I laugh and hang up.
    ‘Right, Eleanor Jones, time to do something with yourself.’ I drag myself off the sofa and walk into my bedroom with the plan of arranging my outfit for work in the morning. It’s not that I have to go far; Mr. Valentine was very keen on having the events management being run within the hotel, outsourcing was just an extra cost and he can pay me an eighth of what they charged. The job isn’t too hard, it’s actually really enjoyable and I love working with Mr. Valentines executive assistant Aubrey, she helps make the days more fun when she’s working from our office. Work is 9am – 5pm and I rarely take stress home with me but at the moment, for the past 6 months, we have been organising the hotel’s anniversary party. It’s going to be a big red carpet event,