“Ah, but they must drink it, my very handsome goat-man. Dousing them with tea is not enough.”
“Then we get squirt guns,” Sam said confidently. He pretended to shoot. “Pew! Pew! Pew! Right between their lips!”
“No good,” I said. “You’d have to be a perfect shot, and then they’d have to swallow the tea. Besides, you said there was a whole colony of these things. Even if you dissolved one or two satyrs, the others would figure out what was up. They’d just keep their mouths shut and slaughter us.”
Sam lowered his finger gun. “So…what do we do?”
I reached into my left front pocket and removed the gift I’d gotten from Mnemosyne. “Maybe this can help us?” I said.
“Do you know what it does?” asked Sam.
“Not a clue,” I said, then raised the library card and swiped it in the air like a credit card.
Nothing happened.
I sort of waved it around. “Alakazam.”
Zip.
“Is there anything written on it?” asked Sam.
I examined it again. “Nothing helpful.”
Sam shrugged. “Maybe we’re not supposed to use it yet.”
“Maybe not.” I shoved the card back into my pocket, then turned to Columbia.
“Goddess, what did you mean about the evil goat-men sullying your waters? Do they come here to drink?”
“To drink. To bathe. To scrub their nasty feet! Every night when the bats fly. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I stared at the water gushing from the fountain, splashing over the snouts of the bronze horses.
“Why here?” I asked. “Don’t they live under a bridge next to a river? Why not bathe and drink there?”
Sam shuddered. “You don’t want to drink from that river, Zane.”
“No, indeed,” Columbia agreed. “This water is pure and sanctified by my presence. Also, it’s fluorinated to prevent cavities.”
I snapped my fingers. “That’s the answer, then!”
“Fluorination?” asked Sam.
“No! We mix iced tea into the fountain water!”
Sam glanced nervously at the bronze horses. “I don’t know if the hippocampi will go for that. They already look pretty angry to me.”
“Oh, don’t worry about my horses,” Columbia said. “Your idea has merit! A few gallons of sweet tea should do it, if they are dumped in just before sunset.”
I bowed again to Columbia. “So we have your permission, O Goddess?”
“On one condition. If you ever get to New York City, promise to go to the Statue of Liberty and yell Columbia Rules! as loud as you can. She hates that.”
I was a little concerned about what Libertas might do to me, but I nodded. “Promise. Once the satyrs are destroyed, they’ll never sully your waters again. Then Sam and I can find the magic item we need from their lair.”
Sam rubbed his hands together. “Great. Now, where should we get that tea?”
I grinned. “I happen to know a place that offers free refills.”
“The Xenia Diner? You think B will help us?”
“Worth a shot!”
“I hope this works,” Sam whispered.
It was almost sunset. The area around the fountain had cleared out. I guess most of the UT students were back in their dorms. Armed with a pitcher provided by B and Phil, we began pouring sweet iced tea into the fountain. Sure enough, no matter how long we poured, the pitcher never went empty. We could easily have overflowed the fountain, but then the bronze hippocampi gave a snort, which was our warning signal.
I stirred the water with my hand, hoping the demon satyrs wouldn’t notice the ice cubes floating around the horses’ hooves. Then Sam and I hunkered down behind a bench to wait.
“Let’s go over the plan again,” I whispered. “One: demon satyrs drink from the fountain. Two: we make sure they all get vaporized. Three: we head to the bridge to find the magic item. Four…”
My voice trailed off. Sam bit his lip. Neither of us knew what would happen at step four. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any satyrs left back at demon satyr headquarters. Hopefully
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