like the story Peree told me about the sighted man who wanders into the valley of the blind. It's our story, only in reverse. Everyone here might be able to see, except me, but they can't seem to understand anything outside the realm of their own experience. At least Calli is trying to understand.
"I love Bear as a friend," I say. "I always have. But how I feel about Peree is different. Of course I think he's wonderful—thoughtful, kind, strong . . . and sort of sulky sometimes—but there's more to it than the things I love about him." I struggle to put my feelings into words without sounding supercilious.
"Choosing him represents something bigger. Something I want more than only a partner. I'm choosing a new way of life with Peree. If I partnered with Bear, it would feel like accepting the way things were before I found Koolkuna: fearing the Scourge, tolerating the Exchange, hating the Lofties without question. I can't do that now, Calli."
"You wouldn't have to go back to the way things were. Things are changing. I've heard Father and Mother talking. Before the fires the Confluence was already discussing getting rid of the Exchange. The Three aren't going to let things go back to the way they were, not exactly. But partnering with a Lofty . . . ." She stops, as if she might be going too far.
"Tell me, Calli. I want to know how you feel."
"It's only that . . . you partnering with a Lofty . . . it's like saying that everything they've done to us over the years, the way they looked down on us—that it doesn't matter to you." She talks fast, stumbling over her words. "It's like Peree is more important to you than us. I mean, I'm not saying that's what I think, but that's kind of how it looks."
Her words sting. After everything I've tried to do to help my people, they don't think they're important to me? I try to stay calm.
"I can't help how it looks. I have to do what I think is right and be true to my feelings. I love Peree, and I'm going to partner with him. I want our people to believe that the Lofties aren't all heartless and cruel like we've always thought—and our people aren't always blameless. I mean, look at Adder. Human life didn’t mean a whole lot to him—at least the lives of those he saw as different from him.”
“Adder was crazy. The Council is different now. Fox, Pinion, and Bream will handle this crisis with the Lofties and find a way to work with them."
I'm not so sure about that, but her confidence in her father is understandable. "Fox is a good man. I know he wants what he thinks is best for us."
"That's what I want for you, too," she says. "I worry you're making a mistake."
I go to her then and wrap my arms around her. "Peree and I are supposed to be together. If I'm sure about anything, it's that."
"I hope you're right." She turns me around and quickly whips my damp, stringy hair into a loose knot. "At least he's not hard on the eyes. Except for all that blond hair and the feathers and everything."
"That doesn't mean anything to me. Sometimes I wish he wasn't good looking. He attracted a little too much female attention in Koolkuna."
"You aren't the jealous type, are you?" Calli teases, turning me around again.
"I didn't think I was until I met him. Now I'm not so sure." I pick up my basket and reach for her hand. "Sit with me at the meeting?"
"Of course. We've got to stick together. Plus I'm still playing hard to get with Cricket. I already spent the afternoon with him; I can't spend all evening with him, too."
"Poor guy. He has no clue what he's in for."
She swings our hands between us as we walk back toward the clearing. "I have to keep him on his toes."
I chuckle. "At least he'll be taller then, right?"
She sighs dramatically. "If only." A moment later she stops us. I feel her bend down next to me as she lets go of my hand. "Huh."
"What is it?"
"A feather."
That's not so strange. Animals may be scarce on the forest floor, but birds flourish in the trees. They're a mainstay
"I love Bear as a friend," I say. "I always have. But how I feel about Peree is different. Of course I think he's wonderful—thoughtful, kind, strong . . . and sort of sulky sometimes—but there's more to it than the things I love about him." I struggle to put my feelings into words without sounding supercilious.
"Choosing him represents something bigger. Something I want more than only a partner. I'm choosing a new way of life with Peree. If I partnered with Bear, it would feel like accepting the way things were before I found Koolkuna: fearing the Scourge, tolerating the Exchange, hating the Lofties without question. I can't do that now, Calli."
"You wouldn't have to go back to the way things were. Things are changing. I've heard Father and Mother talking. Before the fires the Confluence was already discussing getting rid of the Exchange. The Three aren't going to let things go back to the way they were, not exactly. But partnering with a Lofty . . . ." She stops, as if she might be going too far.
"Tell me, Calli. I want to know how you feel."
"It's only that . . . you partnering with a Lofty . . . it's like saying that everything they've done to us over the years, the way they looked down on us—that it doesn't matter to you." She talks fast, stumbling over her words. "It's like Peree is more important to you than us. I mean, I'm not saying that's what I think, but that's kind of how it looks."
Her words sting. After everything I've tried to do to help my people, they don't think they're important to me? I try to stay calm.
"I can't help how it looks. I have to do what I think is right and be true to my feelings. I love Peree, and I'm going to partner with him. I want our people to believe that the Lofties aren't all heartless and cruel like we've always thought—and our people aren't always blameless. I mean, look at Adder. Human life didn’t mean a whole lot to him—at least the lives of those he saw as different from him.”
“Adder was crazy. The Council is different now. Fox, Pinion, and Bream will handle this crisis with the Lofties and find a way to work with them."
I'm not so sure about that, but her confidence in her father is understandable. "Fox is a good man. I know he wants what he thinks is best for us."
"That's what I want for you, too," she says. "I worry you're making a mistake."
I go to her then and wrap my arms around her. "Peree and I are supposed to be together. If I'm sure about anything, it's that."
"I hope you're right." She turns me around and quickly whips my damp, stringy hair into a loose knot. "At least he's not hard on the eyes. Except for all that blond hair and the feathers and everything."
"That doesn't mean anything to me. Sometimes I wish he wasn't good looking. He attracted a little too much female attention in Koolkuna."
"You aren't the jealous type, are you?" Calli teases, turning me around again.
"I didn't think I was until I met him. Now I'm not so sure." I pick up my basket and reach for her hand. "Sit with me at the meeting?"
"Of course. We've got to stick together. Plus I'm still playing hard to get with Cricket. I already spent the afternoon with him; I can't spend all evening with him, too."
"Poor guy. He has no clue what he's in for."
She swings our hands between us as we walk back toward the clearing. "I have to keep him on his toes."
I chuckle. "At least he'll be taller then, right?"
She sighs dramatically. "If only." A moment later she stops us. I feel her bend down next to me as she lets go of my hand. "Huh."
"What is it?"
"A feather."
That's not so strange. Animals may be scarce on the forest floor, but birds flourish in the trees. They're a mainstay
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