They’fore, if the Son maketh you free, you be free indeed.’ All at once it come to me . . . no man is free when his heart ain’t free. All them massahs I have, and all the bad things they done to me . . . they may be free the way man see it, but not the way Jesus see it. ’Cause they ain’t free in here.” He pointed to his heart. “But if Jesus can make my heart free, can’t no man make a slave of me. Maybe they can on this earth, the way man judge a thing. But one day, God will set everythin’ right. ’Tween then and now, Jesus set my heart free from all the hate and fear and sadness inside. And . . . if the Son maketh you free, you be free indeed.”
His big, radiant smile returned.
Laura pondered again how this man who had lost everything dear to him in this world had come to possess such a profound faith in the world to come. It was so strong, it allowed him to soar, almost effortlessly, above all the hatred and fear and sadness. Things she still battled in her heart every day.
Lately, every minute of the day.
With all she had gained in this world and, even now, with all she had lost, her own faith seemed so shallow, so ineffective. She longed to know the freedom Micah enjoyed. Hearing his story did yield one immediate benefit: it allowed her to temporarily set her own losses aside. But she couldn’t help but wonder what John would do if he had just heard this same story. He would find a way to help Micah.
Somehow.
She had no idea what she could possibly do, but she also knew somehow she must try.
20
“Micah, Captain needs you. Downstairs in his cabin.” It was Maylor, the first mate.
“Yessuh, Missuh Maylor.” Micah stood. “Been such a pleasure chattin’ with you, Mrs. Foster.”
“It’s been my honor.” She glanced at Maylor, who seemed totally bewildered by her remark.
As Micah climbed down the wooden stairway, Maylor said, “Captain needs you to clean up. The men ate in his quarters tonight. Shouldn’t take you too long.”
Laura said, “Can I help?”
“Sorry, ma’am. Captain said he just wanted Micah on this.” He turned, and both men disappeared below.
Laura turned and looked back at the sunset, the brightest colors all drained away. But it was still something to see the sky mirrored so perfectly against the ocean. She realized that the serenity of this scene would be lost on Captain Meade and his men. For them, it meant just one thing: dead sails. She leaned over the railing and noticed the ship hardly moving at all. But at least her talk with Micah had dispelled any concerns of want and starvation.
“Don’t tell me you’re going over the rail now.”
Laura stood up straight and turned to see Melissa smiling at her. “Can’t say I haven’t thought about it a time or two,” she said.
“That was a nice thing you did for that woman today.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did,” said Melissa. “It’s one thing to talk about helping someone or feeling sympathy. You take action. You reached right into your gold pouch and helped everyone see what they could do for her. When it was over . . . well, it was the first time I’ve seen so many smiles on this ship.”
“Thank you,” Laura said. “Guess it must be nice not to have to hide your smiles so much.”
“It really is. Although I don’t see how this benevolent mood can last. Everyone’s back to staring out to sea, with nothing but time on their hands.”
“Well, if that happens, you keep your smile. You have no reason to feel guilty, just because you haven’t suffered a loss. Where do you suppose he is now, your Tom?”
Melissa’s face lit up. “He should be waiting for me in New York. Tomorrow is the day the Vandervere was supposed to arrive.”
Laura had completely forgotten.
“Looks like we could be a few days late. Well, I think I’m going to head toward the bow, see if I can catch some kind of breeze.” They exchanged smiles, and she walked away.
Laura stared out
His big, radiant smile returned.
Laura pondered again how this man who had lost everything dear to him in this world had come to possess such a profound faith in the world to come. It was so strong, it allowed him to soar, almost effortlessly, above all the hatred and fear and sadness. Things she still battled in her heart every day.
Lately, every minute of the day.
With all she had gained in this world and, even now, with all she had lost, her own faith seemed so shallow, so ineffective. She longed to know the freedom Micah enjoyed. Hearing his story did yield one immediate benefit: it allowed her to temporarily set her own losses aside. But she couldn’t help but wonder what John would do if he had just heard this same story. He would find a way to help Micah.
Somehow.
She had no idea what she could possibly do, but she also knew somehow she must try.
20
“Micah, Captain needs you. Downstairs in his cabin.” It was Maylor, the first mate.
“Yessuh, Missuh Maylor.” Micah stood. “Been such a pleasure chattin’ with you, Mrs. Foster.”
“It’s been my honor.” She glanced at Maylor, who seemed totally bewildered by her remark.
As Micah climbed down the wooden stairway, Maylor said, “Captain needs you to clean up. The men ate in his quarters tonight. Shouldn’t take you too long.”
Laura said, “Can I help?”
“Sorry, ma’am. Captain said he just wanted Micah on this.” He turned, and both men disappeared below.
Laura turned and looked back at the sunset, the brightest colors all drained away. But it was still something to see the sky mirrored so perfectly against the ocean. She realized that the serenity of this scene would be lost on Captain Meade and his men. For them, it meant just one thing: dead sails. She leaned over the railing and noticed the ship hardly moving at all. But at least her talk with Micah had dispelled any concerns of want and starvation.
“Don’t tell me you’re going over the rail now.”
Laura stood up straight and turned to see Melissa smiling at her. “Can’t say I haven’t thought about it a time or two,” she said.
“That was a nice thing you did for that woman today.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did,” said Melissa. “It’s one thing to talk about helping someone or feeling sympathy. You take action. You reached right into your gold pouch and helped everyone see what they could do for her. When it was over . . . well, it was the first time I’ve seen so many smiles on this ship.”
“Thank you,” Laura said. “Guess it must be nice not to have to hide your smiles so much.”
“It really is. Although I don’t see how this benevolent mood can last. Everyone’s back to staring out to sea, with nothing but time on their hands.”
“Well, if that happens, you keep your smile. You have no reason to feel guilty, just because you haven’t suffered a loss. Where do you suppose he is now, your Tom?”
Melissa’s face lit up. “He should be waiting for me in New York. Tomorrow is the day the Vandervere was supposed to arrive.”
Laura had completely forgotten.
“Looks like we could be a few days late. Well, I think I’m going to head toward the bow, see if I can catch some kind of breeze.” They exchanged smiles, and she walked away.
Laura stared out
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