the other half feared her.”
I pulled my feet off the table and sat up. “Wait a minute. I thought you said she was the girl who had everything?”
“Yeah, but I never said she was nice.”
“Kayla was a mean girl?”
Alexa sat up straight and jutted her chin out. “She was crafty, manipulative. She could be very mean. Even cruel. But she was so smart and gorgeous that she got away with it.”
I hesitated a moment. “Was she mean to you?”
“I was a target,” Alexa admitted. “But so were many others. It’s not a big deal.”
I had the feeling, though, from the hard look in her eyes, that it was more than that.
The doorbell rang four times quickly and before I couldscramble to the door Faye let herself in, followed by a burly looking boy carrying a giant box filled with food and drinks.
“You only invited twenty people, right?” I said, following them into the kitchen.
Faye ripped open a package of chips. “Don’t worry about it.”
Easy for her to say.
People started pouring in after that, walking straight into the kitchen for a red plastic cup like kids to the Pied Piper. Kane brought a few guys from the team and Faye’s friends followed them around, giggling.
I lifted myself up onto a counter in the kitchen and sat there, swinging my legs and fingering my turquoise pendant (for good luck), while people came up and talked to me, one after the other. Their tongues got looser as the night went on, and my little corner of the kitchen turned into a confessional.
“One night, I actually prayed for Kayla’s death,” one girl tearfully admitted. “I felt so guilty after it really happened. My therapist had to convince me that I didn’t compel her to fall myself.”
The more the night went on, the more these strangers wanted to talk to me about Kayla. They told me stories, some good, some bad. They shared their opinions. It was like — now that she was gone — it was finally safe for them to be honest about her.
One of Kayla’s self-professed best friends (there were so many I lost count) started a dreamy-eyed monologue on Kayla and Donovan’s relationship. That was the last thing I wantedto hear about, but for some masochistic reason, I couldn’t tell her to stop.
“Kayla and Donovan seemed like polar opposites,” she said, swaying in place. “He was deep where she was shallow. She was all parties and the popular crowd while he was all art and gamers. She could’ve had anyone at school. But I never once wondered what she saw in him. I knew what it was.”
I leaned forward, nearly falling off the counter. “What?”
“He was different, kind, special.”
I wondered why she spoke of him in the past tense. Like he wasn’t still all those things.
“And those eyes. When their intensity was focused on you, you felt like the center of the universe.” She suddenly snapped out of it, embarrassment shining on her face. “But he totally killed her. We all know that.”
She wandered off and I wondered how much of her insistence on Donovan’s guilt was merely bitterness that he never wanted her like he wanted Kayla.
“So are you, like, dating Kane Woodward?” Keith, the burly boy who’d come in with Faye, asked.
“No, we’re just friends,” I answered loudly, hoping to dispel that myth in case Faye was within hearing distance.
“But you’re going out tomorrow night,” Keith said.
“Yeah, I guess.” I didn’t want to get into the nuances of it with him.
“Hey.” He leaned in closer. “Did you ever, like, see the ghost of Kayla here?”
I fought to prevent a reaction from showing on my face. The answer caught in my throat and I had to force out the word, “Nope.”
I had no desire to tell the truth to people I barely knew. They might call me crazy, say I was making it up for attention. I didn’t need a reputation at school after only two weeks.
I’d only even mentioned the possibility of a ghost to Alexa, and she wasn’t talking to anyone. In fact, she’d told
I pulled my feet off the table and sat up. “Wait a minute. I thought you said she was the girl who had everything?”
“Yeah, but I never said she was nice.”
“Kayla was a mean girl?”
Alexa sat up straight and jutted her chin out. “She was crafty, manipulative. She could be very mean. Even cruel. But she was so smart and gorgeous that she got away with it.”
I hesitated a moment. “Was she mean to you?”
“I was a target,” Alexa admitted. “But so were many others. It’s not a big deal.”
I had the feeling, though, from the hard look in her eyes, that it was more than that.
The doorbell rang four times quickly and before I couldscramble to the door Faye let herself in, followed by a burly looking boy carrying a giant box filled with food and drinks.
“You only invited twenty people, right?” I said, following them into the kitchen.
Faye ripped open a package of chips. “Don’t worry about it.”
Easy for her to say.
People started pouring in after that, walking straight into the kitchen for a red plastic cup like kids to the Pied Piper. Kane brought a few guys from the team and Faye’s friends followed them around, giggling.
I lifted myself up onto a counter in the kitchen and sat there, swinging my legs and fingering my turquoise pendant (for good luck), while people came up and talked to me, one after the other. Their tongues got looser as the night went on, and my little corner of the kitchen turned into a confessional.
“One night, I actually prayed for Kayla’s death,” one girl tearfully admitted. “I felt so guilty after it really happened. My therapist had to convince me that I didn’t compel her to fall myself.”
The more the night went on, the more these strangers wanted to talk to me about Kayla. They told me stories, some good, some bad. They shared their opinions. It was like — now that she was gone — it was finally safe for them to be honest about her.
One of Kayla’s self-professed best friends (there were so many I lost count) started a dreamy-eyed monologue on Kayla and Donovan’s relationship. That was the last thing I wantedto hear about, but for some masochistic reason, I couldn’t tell her to stop.
“Kayla and Donovan seemed like polar opposites,” she said, swaying in place. “He was deep where she was shallow. She was all parties and the popular crowd while he was all art and gamers. She could’ve had anyone at school. But I never once wondered what she saw in him. I knew what it was.”
I leaned forward, nearly falling off the counter. “What?”
“He was different, kind, special.”
I wondered why she spoke of him in the past tense. Like he wasn’t still all those things.
“And those eyes. When their intensity was focused on you, you felt like the center of the universe.” She suddenly snapped out of it, embarrassment shining on her face. “But he totally killed her. We all know that.”
She wandered off and I wondered how much of her insistence on Donovan’s guilt was merely bitterness that he never wanted her like he wanted Kayla.
“So are you, like, dating Kane Woodward?” Keith, the burly boy who’d come in with Faye, asked.
“No, we’re just friends,” I answered loudly, hoping to dispel that myth in case Faye was within hearing distance.
“But you’re going out tomorrow night,” Keith said.
“Yeah, I guess.” I didn’t want to get into the nuances of it with him.
“Hey.” He leaned in closer. “Did you ever, like, see the ghost of Kayla here?”
I fought to prevent a reaction from showing on my face. The answer caught in my throat and I had to force out the word, “Nope.”
I had no desire to tell the truth to people I barely knew. They might call me crazy, say I was making it up for attention. I didn’t need a reputation at school after only two weeks.
I’d only even mentioned the possibility of a ghost to Alexa, and she wasn’t talking to anyone. In fact, she’d told
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