enclosed walkway connecting the main building to the gymnasium. Heâs on his way to tell Coach Williams he doesnât thinkitâs working out too well for him managing the girlsâ basketball team. Heâs spent the whole morning concentrating, and the positive aspects of his life are worn thin. His parentsâ fight rings in his ears and he canât force the feelings out any longer. He just feels too awful to pretend he can be around athletes of any kind when he canât be one, too. Let the little shit off the hook. Let you off the hook, you mean . The voices are real. Heâs not some car you can take back to the dealer because it doesnât run rightâ¦doesnât run rightâ¦doesnât run right .
âOh, hi, Willie.â He looks up, startled, to see Jenny and Jeff Rhodes entering the walkway through the side door, from outside.
âHi,â he says quickly, realizing instantly somethingâs wrong. He looks into Jennyâs eyes, then Jeffâs. Jeff darts a look at him, then to the wall behind his head. âHiâ¦Jeff.â
âHey, Willie. How you doinâ?â Jeff says. He glances quickly at Jenny, then back to the wall. âLook,â he says, âI gotta get to class. Iâll see you guys later.â
Jennyâs recovered. âOkay, Jeff. Take it easy. Tell Debbie Iâll catch up with her in Algebra.â
Debbie is Jeffâs girlfriend.
Supposedly.
Jenny turns to Willie; touches his arm. âWhereâre you headed?â she asks.
âOutâ¦to seeâ¦Coach Williams.â
âHow come?â
âJust gottaâ¦talk to herâ¦forâ¦a minute.â
âWant some company?â
Willie shakes his head. âNo. Thatâsâ¦okay. Got someâ¦other stuffâ¦to do.â
Jenny smiles and pecks his cheek. âOkay. Iâll see you at lunch.â
Thoughts of his parentsâ fight wash out of his head like water draining out of a bathtub, replaced by the flash across Jeffâs and Jennyâs faces. In the months since the accident Willie has developed radar for hidden meaning; unspoken language. Itâs as real to him as anything he can touch or feel. But Jenny wouldnât do that. Sheâs a friend. She was a friend before all this; a good one. She said she wouldnât do that; sheâd hang in. Certainly there are times when his intuition is wrong. Cyril said there will be times when heâs particularly paranoid. On the other hand, no one ever tells him anything. Friends are so careful, thereâs no way he can trust them. Petey is the only one. Words tumble out of his mouth long before he might even think of censoring them. Everyone else is on guard. Willie feels himselfphysically pushing his stomach back down where it belongs. Whether heâs right or wrong about Rhodes and Jenny, thereâs no way to find out. And Rhodes is a class guy. Pretty good athlete. Great student. Funny. Good-looking. Willie feels the black cloud of his worst fear taking shape.
With a deep breath he continues out to resign his position as flunky for girlsâ roundball.
He skips lunch because he knows he canât play it straight with Jenny. If she has been seeing Rhodes, sheâll know he senses something and it will be awful. If she hasnât, sheâll dig out of Willie whatâs bothering him and heâll feel like a fool. He pulls on his coat and snow boots and wanders aimlessly for the lunch period through the neighborhood surrounding the school. If he could just stop the unraveling; finally get to the last of the awful pain seemingly caused by his mere presence. Hell, he knew Jenny was going to go. Heâs been saying it all along; but holding a little back, really; holding on to a small spot deep down that said maybe Jenny was superhuman. But he knows that âuh-ohâ look Rhodes gave her in the walkway.
He slips quietly into his desk minutes after the start of
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