It was all about lace ruffles and perfume that wrapped around a guy’s senses and drove him to sing the Lord’s Prayer in his mind to keep his thoughts on holy things as he walked into church.
“You can catch me if I fall.” He stood back, motioning with his hand for her to walk through the doors of the church ahead of him, and she didn’t. Instead, she looked a little green, and he remembered panic attacks.
“Give me a minute.” She glanced around, and people were watching.
He stepped closer, close enough that it became just the two of them, and he knew that people would talk. But in a town like Dawson, that’s just what people did. He didn’t mind giving them something to talk about.
“Deep breath, darlin’.”
“Okay.” She closed her eyes, inhaling. He wanted to put his arms around her, but then she’d be the only thing holding him up and they’d both fall.
He hummed the Lord’s Prayer and took a careful step back, trying not to tangle his legs, the crutches and the people walking past them.
“Why do you keep humming?” She looked up, distracted, and he hadn’t realized he’d hummed out loud.
“I’ll explain it someday.” The church bell rang. “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Etta appeared in the vestibule. “I saved us a seat, but thought the two of you might have changed your minds about coming inside.”
“We’re here.” Jason wondered if Etta knew that her granddaughter had panic attacks. “No Andie, I see.”
Etta shook her head. “Of course not. She guilted Alyson into coming, but she backtracked as soon as we got close to being ready. She said she’s going to pick up another horse today.”
“Sounds like Andie.” He sat down on the end of the pew and stretched his leg out into the aisle.
“What happened?” Alyson asked as she reached for a hymnal.
“Bull bucked me off.”
“That was a month ago. And my name is Alyson.”
He laughed a little, because of her quirky smile and the way her brows arched when she was being funny, and then the hint of shyness, as if she had found out something new about herself.
“I know. I promise, I’m not going to forget you, not again. And I really do remember what happened. I didsome calf roping with a friend and when I jumped off a horse I was trying out, I twisted my knee. I already have some torn ligaments, so…”
“You’ll need surgery.”
“Probably so.” He put a finger to his lips and she nodded, but she kept looking at him, not at the front of the church.
Alyson glanced away from the cowboy sitting next to her. She swallowed emotions that surfaced, unfamiliar and consuming. She reminded herself of how it felt to be the person Dan left because she didn’t know how to enjoy life. That note had changed her life more than his leaving her had. That note had hurt, because it had been the truth. And it hadn’t been her fault that she’d become this person who lived by a schedule.
The pianist missed a note. Alyson looked up, catching the problem, shuddering a little, and not meaning to. The woman was doing a great job. There was something about the song, the way it lifted to the rafters of that little church. It wasn’t polished, it wasn’t perfect, but it was moving.
She listened as they moved from a song about the earth not being home, to a song she knew well. As the worship leader sang the words, “It is well, with my soul,” Alyson wondered, as she had never really wondered before, what that meant. Before it had been a beautiful song, a song the piano brought to life. And now, listening, she realized it was about life and having something stronger than oneself to rely on.
And she didn’t know if she could ever live through disasters and sing that all was well with her soul. Howdid a person do that? How did a person find peace within their soul?
How could she ever find it when fear bounced around inside her, stealing any peace she managed to find, and bitterness welled up within her when she
“You can catch me if I fall.” He stood back, motioning with his hand for her to walk through the doors of the church ahead of him, and she didn’t. Instead, she looked a little green, and he remembered panic attacks.
“Give me a minute.” She glanced around, and people were watching.
He stepped closer, close enough that it became just the two of them, and he knew that people would talk. But in a town like Dawson, that’s just what people did. He didn’t mind giving them something to talk about.
“Deep breath, darlin’.”
“Okay.” She closed her eyes, inhaling. He wanted to put his arms around her, but then she’d be the only thing holding him up and they’d both fall.
He hummed the Lord’s Prayer and took a careful step back, trying not to tangle his legs, the crutches and the people walking past them.
“Why do you keep humming?” She looked up, distracted, and he hadn’t realized he’d hummed out loud.
“I’ll explain it someday.” The church bell rang. “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Etta appeared in the vestibule. “I saved us a seat, but thought the two of you might have changed your minds about coming inside.”
“We’re here.” Jason wondered if Etta knew that her granddaughter had panic attacks. “No Andie, I see.”
Etta shook her head. “Of course not. She guilted Alyson into coming, but she backtracked as soon as we got close to being ready. She said she’s going to pick up another horse today.”
“Sounds like Andie.” He sat down on the end of the pew and stretched his leg out into the aisle.
“What happened?” Alyson asked as she reached for a hymnal.
“Bull bucked me off.”
“That was a month ago. And my name is Alyson.”
He laughed a little, because of her quirky smile and the way her brows arched when she was being funny, and then the hint of shyness, as if she had found out something new about herself.
“I know. I promise, I’m not going to forget you, not again. And I really do remember what happened. I didsome calf roping with a friend and when I jumped off a horse I was trying out, I twisted my knee. I already have some torn ligaments, so…”
“You’ll need surgery.”
“Probably so.” He put a finger to his lips and she nodded, but she kept looking at him, not at the front of the church.
Alyson glanced away from the cowboy sitting next to her. She swallowed emotions that surfaced, unfamiliar and consuming. She reminded herself of how it felt to be the person Dan left because she didn’t know how to enjoy life. That note had changed her life more than his leaving her had. That note had hurt, because it had been the truth. And it hadn’t been her fault that she’d become this person who lived by a schedule.
The pianist missed a note. Alyson looked up, catching the problem, shuddering a little, and not meaning to. The woman was doing a great job. There was something about the song, the way it lifted to the rafters of that little church. It wasn’t polished, it wasn’t perfect, but it was moving.
She listened as they moved from a song about the earth not being home, to a song she knew well. As the worship leader sang the words, “It is well, with my soul,” Alyson wondered, as she had never really wondered before, what that meant. Before it had been a beautiful song, a song the piano brought to life. And now, listening, she realized it was about life and having something stronger than oneself to rely on.
And she didn’t know if she could ever live through disasters and sing that all was well with her soul. Howdid a person do that? How did a person find peace within their soul?
How could she ever find it when fear bounced around inside her, stealing any peace she managed to find, and bitterness welled up within her when she
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