The Complete Collection

The Complete Collection by Susan Shultz Page A

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Authors: Susan Shultz
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Chapter 15
     
    I hear the key in the door just as I'm filling
one of my last boxes at the old apartment.
    Ugh.
    I was really hoping to avoid a scene.
    “Hi,” Scott says, quietly.
    “Hi,” I say, not looking his way. “I’m
almost done.”
    “No rush. I’m glad I caught you… Lila,”
he says.
    “Yes?” I say, still continuing to pack
up my things.
    Scott picks up a picture of us from a
football game. It feels like centuries ago.
    “Stop for a minute and talk to me,” he
says.
    I turn and look at him. He recoils from
my coldness.
    “Haven’t you talked enough, Scott?”
    He looks down.
    “You’re right. I should have been more
supportive. I should have listened. I was self-absorbed. Maybe I felt like I
was losing you in some way. And it scared me,” Scott says.
    I sigh.
    “Maybe you were, Scott. And maybe that’s
why this is for the best. I really have sights for myself beyond this little town.
I want to do real writing. Real writing that makes a difference. And no one supports
me. Not you. Not Ray. No one. I need to find people who will,” I say.
    “Like Sam?” he says.
    I blush before I can look away.
    “Please, Scott. Sam has nothing to do
with this. He’s a source. That’s all.”
    “Don’t bullshit me, Lila. You’re not that
far gone that I don’t know you anymore.”
    “Okay, so we have a connection. We’re
both passionate about Ainsley’s story. We’re both feeling rather…alone…at the
moment,” I concede, again not meeting Scott’s eyes.
    “Oh, really?” Scott says.
    “Don’t get angry. That’s not why I’m
here. I’m not defending myself to you anymore,” I say.
    “Okay, okay—I’m not going to ask any
more questions. I just want you to be careful. You're in a vulnerable position
right now. You’re not…yourself,” Scott says.
    “What’s that supposed to mean?” I push my
glasses back up on my nose.
    “I don’t know, Lila. You haven’t been
yourself since you started obsessing over this story. I can’t explain it. You've
gone…somewhere else."
    I sit down, wearily.
    I know he's right.
    Or maybe—just maybe—this is
who I really am. Who I've been all along.
    “Talk to me, babe. Just talk,” he says.
    “Can you get me a beer?” I say.
    “Of course.”
    He grabs two beers and sits down next to
me.
    “There’s something I never told you,
Scott,” I say.
    “Okay—tell me now, then.”
    “This is really hard to talk about, so
just let me talk,” I say.
    “Okay."
    And so I tell Scott the story .
    He knew that my parents died when I was
young. He knew there was a fire. But that’s all he knew: whatever the
newspapers told him.
    Now, I tell him my own story:
    I tell him about the fire.
    I cry some.
    He listens.
    And then, I'm done.
    “Jesus, Lila,” Scott says.
    He puts his beer down.
    “Can I hug you?” he says.
    I put my beer down, and feel his arms
around me.
    We hug tightly. I feel myself getting
vulnerable again, and I pull away.
    “It’s okay to hug, Lila,” he says.
    “I know,” I say.
    “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” he says.
    “I don’t tell anyone. It’s buried so deeply
inside of me—I think these headlines and this tragedy and the media
circus

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