already catching the scent of Chid, and approaching.
“Lord, hear this sinner,” Chid prayed aloud, also silently praying that the Lord was not too westered to hear his prayer, “I have done wrong, I know, Lord, and I confess. I have jined ends with my own sister, Lord, and got her with marbles and eastereggs, and married her. I have jined in adultery with other ladies, Lord, amongst them Josie Dingletoon, who hardly ary feller could resist, but she never tempted me, it was my own sinfulness. Now wilt Thou permit the beasts of the field and the critters of the air to consume me, instead of Thy divine Rapture? Lord, I pray that I be saved, to stay east and preach Thy glories to all roosterroachkind, or, if it be Thy will, to be raptured by Thy hand and Thy sacred shootin-arn. But if I am to be westered off by a beast of the field or a critter of the air, let it be swift, O Lord, swift as Thy rapturing, and take me to live on Thy right hand in the Heaven of Stay More Forever. In Joshua’s Blessed Name I pray, Amen.”
And behold, the Lord opened one eye.
Even though the Lord held His one eye opened for only a few jerks of a second and then closed it tightly again, Chid Tichborne took this as a sign that the Lord had heard him and intended to spare him, that the Lord forgave him for his transgressions. A chill shiver ran through Chid; no, he realized it was not his own chill shiver, but one running through the Lord Himself, the Lord’s whole body quivering. Chid saw a bird swooping downward, aimed right at him, but he feared no evil, for the Lord was with him, and the Lord twitched an elbow, which caused the bird to swerve and miss and rise back out of sight. Likewise the lizard in the grass retreated.
The Lord began to rise. He got His knees up under Himself and spread His palms upon the ground, and arched His back. Chid did not want to fall off into the grass, where lizards, snakes, birds, or Lord knows what-all might get him. He clung to the Lord’s jeans and sought to crawl into the Lord’s hip pocket, but the space was too tight. As the Lord rose to His knees, Chid climbed above His belt to the back of His shirt, and as the Lord continued rising to a standing position, Chid crawled up beneath the back of the Lord’s shirt collar. There, out of sight of any creature, even the Lord, he hid, and hung on, as the Lord staggered around the yard of Carlott for a while, kicking into pieces of car junk, then tottering toward the back porch of Holy House.
Although this height and his own boldness made his nerves tingle, Chid felt elevated above his former station in life and almost sanctified, almost possessed of godhead himself. Wouldn’t those infidel Smockroaches be astonished into piety if they could see him? But all roosterroaches had retired for the day into deep slumber, and none were abroad to witness the minister’s daring ride on the back of the Lord’s neck.
The Lord shuffled along through Holy House to His cookroom. He swung open the great door of the Fabulous Fridge, and a blast of cold air pierced Chid and made his mandibles chatter. The Lord just stared for a long time at the interior of the Fridge, as if trying to decide what to take, or perhaps only checking to see that nothing was missing (no roosterroach had ever succeeded in sneaking into the sealed interior). Then the Lord closed the Fridge’s door without removing anything. He bent low over the double-tub Porcelain Sink, a place of frequent wading parties for roosterroaches, and placed His head directly beneath the Fantastic Faucet and turned on the water, causing a great gush of it to splash all over His hair and even the back of His collar, where Chid crouched, only partially sheltered from the spray. For what seemed like a full minute, the Lord held His head beneath the rushing water, then raised His head and shook it vigorously, as if to dry it.
The Lord stumbled against the cookroom table, and in doing so jostled a pile of books stacked on
“Lord, hear this sinner,” Chid prayed aloud, also silently praying that the Lord was not too westered to hear his prayer, “I have done wrong, I know, Lord, and I confess. I have jined ends with my own sister, Lord, and got her with marbles and eastereggs, and married her. I have jined in adultery with other ladies, Lord, amongst them Josie Dingletoon, who hardly ary feller could resist, but she never tempted me, it was my own sinfulness. Now wilt Thou permit the beasts of the field and the critters of the air to consume me, instead of Thy divine Rapture? Lord, I pray that I be saved, to stay east and preach Thy glories to all roosterroachkind, or, if it be Thy will, to be raptured by Thy hand and Thy sacred shootin-arn. But if I am to be westered off by a beast of the field or a critter of the air, let it be swift, O Lord, swift as Thy rapturing, and take me to live on Thy right hand in the Heaven of Stay More Forever. In Joshua’s Blessed Name I pray, Amen.”
And behold, the Lord opened one eye.
Even though the Lord held His one eye opened for only a few jerks of a second and then closed it tightly again, Chid Tichborne took this as a sign that the Lord had heard him and intended to spare him, that the Lord forgave him for his transgressions. A chill shiver ran through Chid; no, he realized it was not his own chill shiver, but one running through the Lord Himself, the Lord’s whole body quivering. Chid saw a bird swooping downward, aimed right at him, but he feared no evil, for the Lord was with him, and the Lord twitched an elbow, which caused the bird to swerve and miss and rise back out of sight. Likewise the lizard in the grass retreated.
The Lord began to rise. He got His knees up under Himself and spread His palms upon the ground, and arched His back. Chid did not want to fall off into the grass, where lizards, snakes, birds, or Lord knows what-all might get him. He clung to the Lord’s jeans and sought to crawl into the Lord’s hip pocket, but the space was too tight. As the Lord rose to His knees, Chid climbed above His belt to the back of His shirt, and as the Lord continued rising to a standing position, Chid crawled up beneath the back of the Lord’s shirt collar. There, out of sight of any creature, even the Lord, he hid, and hung on, as the Lord staggered around the yard of Carlott for a while, kicking into pieces of car junk, then tottering toward the back porch of Holy House.
Although this height and his own boldness made his nerves tingle, Chid felt elevated above his former station in life and almost sanctified, almost possessed of godhead himself. Wouldn’t those infidel Smockroaches be astonished into piety if they could see him? But all roosterroaches had retired for the day into deep slumber, and none were abroad to witness the minister’s daring ride on the back of the Lord’s neck.
The Lord shuffled along through Holy House to His cookroom. He swung open the great door of the Fabulous Fridge, and a blast of cold air pierced Chid and made his mandibles chatter. The Lord just stared for a long time at the interior of the Fridge, as if trying to decide what to take, or perhaps only checking to see that nothing was missing (no roosterroach had ever succeeded in sneaking into the sealed interior). Then the Lord closed the Fridge’s door without removing anything. He bent low over the double-tub Porcelain Sink, a place of frequent wading parties for roosterroaches, and placed His head directly beneath the Fantastic Faucet and turned on the water, causing a great gush of it to splash all over His hair and even the back of His collar, where Chid crouched, only partially sheltered from the spray. For what seemed like a full minute, the Lord held His head beneath the rushing water, then raised His head and shook it vigorously, as if to dry it.
The Lord stumbled against the cookroom table, and in doing so jostled a pile of books stacked on
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