the core. Breathing heavily, he pushed Zach back, avoiding his lips as Zach chased for the kiss.
"Don't stop—"
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"I have to stop myself. Otherwise I'm going to push you down on that bed and just take what I want."
Zach finally eased away, utter confusion on his
face. "Do it then. I'm saying yes."
"I know you are, but hell, Zach, I want to do this right, okay? I want to make it good for us, I want you to feel well, and I want us to be alone, not with my momma sitting downstairs. Does this make sense?"
"I do feel well," Zach protested quickly, clearly trying not to wince as Ben touched his bandaged back.
"Uh huh," was all he said about that, and Zach gazed at him with the start of a smile on his face. "I think this thing we have here could be very important to both of us." It was vitally important that Zach understand how much Ben had considered the next move, how many times he had caught himself as he reached for the younger man.
"I think so, too," God, Zach sounded so damned shy. It was impossible to stop himself, and he pulled him in for a close hug. Zach, for all his height, leaned into Ben, burying his face in the space between shoulder and ear. Ben felt a rush of need to make Zach understand. Ben intended on being there for him in all he had to do to get better.
"That panic attack was a sign that maybe there is shit in your head that needs sorting. Your back is still 122
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RJ Scott
healing, you still look so tired, and you are only eighteen."
"Okay," Zach answered sadly, his shoulders slumping, and Ben realized instantly the mistake he had made. Maybe he shouldn't have listed everything pertaining to Zach first.
"And as for me, I'm a cop. Not just that, but I'm a newbie cop, fresh out of training. You were a juvenile in my care, and I am not going to be seen to be taking advantage of the situation. I need to give you professional help first, find out what is happening in your home, and check on Rebecca." Zach blinked at him as he spoke, fear and worry in his eyes as he mentioned Rebecca. "Come to dinner now."
* * * *
The phone remained ominously silent for a good
three days, and Zach wondered if Matt had actually done as he had asked. They had been as close as brothers, had shared everything, but now it had been so long and Zach had never been able to contact the other boy. He counted on Ben coming through, or Mitchell, and getting information that way.
So when the shit hit the fan, it came from two
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directions. First, it was the phone. Matt demanded to talk to Zach, his voice thick with some unnamed emotion as he blurted out what he had seen.
"He hit her, right in front of me, because she remembered me and smiled at me! Fuck, Zach, what do I do?"
"I don't… I…" Shaking, Zach handed the phone directly to Ben, taking the stairs three at a time and grabbing the duffle that Donna had given him for his clothes. Ben's voice echoed up the stairs, talking calmly, then silence, then just two words. Just two. "She's dead?"
Zach reacted in shock, jumping back down the
stairs, skidding to a halt in the hall. Ben was nodding at something on the other end of the phone and looked over at Zach with a stubborn look of determination on his face.
Carefully he replaced the handset.
"Ben?" he asked quickly.
"I'm sorry," Ben said softly, and there was something in his eyes, a finality, a grief, and the cold glint of temper. Zach suddenly lost all the strength in his legs as he fell to his knees in the hall. What had happened? His sister was dead? He felt Ben try to lift him. Heard words, but they were just noise around him. He felt sick.
"Zach. Zach. Look at me." He felt Ben shake him.
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"'Rebecca?" He felt like his entire world was disintegrating around him.
"No. Zach. Look at me. Zach. She's fine. Zach.
Zach."
"Fine?" He lifted his eyes to Ben's, seeing the
"Don't stop—"
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RJ Scott
"I have to stop myself. Otherwise I'm going to push you down on that bed and just take what I want."
Zach finally eased away, utter confusion on his
face. "Do it then. I'm saying yes."
"I know you are, but hell, Zach, I want to do this right, okay? I want to make it good for us, I want you to feel well, and I want us to be alone, not with my momma sitting downstairs. Does this make sense?"
"I do feel well," Zach protested quickly, clearly trying not to wince as Ben touched his bandaged back.
"Uh huh," was all he said about that, and Zach gazed at him with the start of a smile on his face. "I think this thing we have here could be very important to both of us." It was vitally important that Zach understand how much Ben had considered the next move, how many times he had caught himself as he reached for the younger man.
"I think so, too," God, Zach sounded so damned shy. It was impossible to stop himself, and he pulled him in for a close hug. Zach, for all his height, leaned into Ben, burying his face in the space between shoulder and ear. Ben felt a rush of need to make Zach understand. Ben intended on being there for him in all he had to do to get better.
"That panic attack was a sign that maybe there is shit in your head that needs sorting. Your back is still 122
The Christmas Throwaway
RJ Scott
healing, you still look so tired, and you are only eighteen."
"Okay," Zach answered sadly, his shoulders slumping, and Ben realized instantly the mistake he had made. Maybe he shouldn't have listed everything pertaining to Zach first.
"And as for me, I'm a cop. Not just that, but I'm a newbie cop, fresh out of training. You were a juvenile in my care, and I am not going to be seen to be taking advantage of the situation. I need to give you professional help first, find out what is happening in your home, and check on Rebecca." Zach blinked at him as he spoke, fear and worry in his eyes as he mentioned Rebecca. "Come to dinner now."
* * * *
The phone remained ominously silent for a good
three days, and Zach wondered if Matt had actually done as he had asked. They had been as close as brothers, had shared everything, but now it had been so long and Zach had never been able to contact the other boy. He counted on Ben coming through, or Mitchell, and getting information that way.
So when the shit hit the fan, it came from two
123
The Christmas Throwaway
RJ Scott
directions. First, it was the phone. Matt demanded to talk to Zach, his voice thick with some unnamed emotion as he blurted out what he had seen.
"He hit her, right in front of me, because she remembered me and smiled at me! Fuck, Zach, what do I do?"
"I don't… I…" Shaking, Zach handed the phone directly to Ben, taking the stairs three at a time and grabbing the duffle that Donna had given him for his clothes. Ben's voice echoed up the stairs, talking calmly, then silence, then just two words. Just two. "She's dead?"
Zach reacted in shock, jumping back down the
stairs, skidding to a halt in the hall. Ben was nodding at something on the other end of the phone and looked over at Zach with a stubborn look of determination on his face.
Carefully he replaced the handset.
"Ben?" he asked quickly.
"I'm sorry," Ben said softly, and there was something in his eyes, a finality, a grief, and the cold glint of temper. Zach suddenly lost all the strength in his legs as he fell to his knees in the hall. What had happened? His sister was dead? He felt Ben try to lift him. Heard words, but they were just noise around him. He felt sick.
"Zach. Zach. Look at me." He felt Ben shake him.
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RJ Scott
"'Rebecca?" He felt like his entire world was disintegrating around him.
"No. Zach. Look at me. Zach. She's fine. Zach.
Zach."
"Fine?" He lifted his eyes to Ben's, seeing the
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