her. She didn't want money.
"I felt there had to be a catch in it somewhere. Finally, when she stopped talking, I said, 'What about your husband?' and Annabelle laughed and said that he wouldn't ask any questions. I told her I couldn't believe this; no man would accept another man's child. But Annabelle said that Leslie Collis would, to save his own face and his pride; he hated more than anything else in the world to be made to look foolish. He minded what his colleagues thought of him, what people said about him. He'd built up for himself this hard-headed image, and he would let nothing destroy it. And then she looked at the expression on my face and she laughed again, and she said, 'Don't worry, Daniel, he won't come gunning for you.'
"I said, 'But it's my baby,' and she threw her cigarette away and pushed her hair out of her face and said, 'Oh, don't bother about the baby. It'll have a good home,' and she made it sound as though she were talking about a dog."
He was still now, the restless pacing stopped. He stood in the middle of the room, looking down into his glass. There was still some whisky left in the bottom, and with a quick movement of hand and head, he tipped the last of it down his throat. I hoped that he would not pour himself another. He seemed to me, in this frame of mind, a man happy to drink himself into oblivion. But he went and put the empty glass back on top of the refrigerator and then, noticing that it was now dark, moved to the window and drew the heavy curtains, shutting away the dismal night outside.
He turned to face me. "You're not saying anything."
"I can't think of anything intelligent to say."
"You're shocked."
"That's a ludicrous word to use. I'm in no position to be shocked. I'm in no position to take up any sort of attitude. But for your sake, I'm sorry it happened."
"I haven't told you everything yet. Do you want to hear the rest?"
"If you want me to hear."
"I think I do. I ... I haven't talked like this for years. I'm not sure if I could stop now, even if I wanted to."
"Have you never told anyone before?"
"Yes. I told Chips. At first I thought I wouldn't. I couldn't. For one thing, I was too ashamed. Leslie Collis wasn't the only man who hated to look foolish. But I was never much good at hiding my feelings, and after a couple of days of idiocy, shambling around Chips's studio and dropping things, he lost patience with me and came out with it, and said what the hell was the matter with me, anyway. So I told him then. I told him everything, and he never interrupted; never said a word. Just sat there in his saggy old chair, smoking his pipe and listening. And when I'd finished, got it off my chest, the relief was so great that I couldn't think why I hadn't told him straight away."
"What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything for a bit. Just went on smoking and gazing into space. Mulling things over. I didn't know what he was thinking. I half-expected to be told to go and pack my bags and never darken the doors of Holly Cottage again.
"But finally he knocked the ash out of his pipe and put it in his pocket and said, 'Young man, you are being taken for a ride.' And then he told me about Annabelle. He said that she had always been amoral, openly promiscuous. That summer was no exception. As for the baby, there was another man, a farmer from over Falmouth way, married and with a family of his own. In Chips's opinion, there was every likelihood that he was the father of Annabelle's baby. And Annabelle must know this.
"When he came out with this, I was in more of a quandary than ever. Half of me was relieved. But, as well, I felt cheated. My pride was badly bruised. I knew I was deceiving Leslie Collis, but it gave my newly found manhood a kick in the teeth to be told that Annabelle had been two-timing me. That sounds despicable, doesn't it?"
"No. It's understandable. But if it was true, why did she say the baby was yours?"
"I asked Chips that very question. And he told me that
"I felt there had to be a catch in it somewhere. Finally, when she stopped talking, I said, 'What about your husband?' and Annabelle laughed and said that he wouldn't ask any questions. I told her I couldn't believe this; no man would accept another man's child. But Annabelle said that Leslie Collis would, to save his own face and his pride; he hated more than anything else in the world to be made to look foolish. He minded what his colleagues thought of him, what people said about him. He'd built up for himself this hard-headed image, and he would let nothing destroy it. And then she looked at the expression on my face and she laughed again, and she said, 'Don't worry, Daniel, he won't come gunning for you.'
"I said, 'But it's my baby,' and she threw her cigarette away and pushed her hair out of her face and said, 'Oh, don't bother about the baby. It'll have a good home,' and she made it sound as though she were talking about a dog."
He was still now, the restless pacing stopped. He stood in the middle of the room, looking down into his glass. There was still some whisky left in the bottom, and with a quick movement of hand and head, he tipped the last of it down his throat. I hoped that he would not pour himself another. He seemed to me, in this frame of mind, a man happy to drink himself into oblivion. But he went and put the empty glass back on top of the refrigerator and then, noticing that it was now dark, moved to the window and drew the heavy curtains, shutting away the dismal night outside.
He turned to face me. "You're not saying anything."
"I can't think of anything intelligent to say."
"You're shocked."
"That's a ludicrous word to use. I'm in no position to be shocked. I'm in no position to take up any sort of attitude. But for your sake, I'm sorry it happened."
"I haven't told you everything yet. Do you want to hear the rest?"
"If you want me to hear."
"I think I do. I ... I haven't talked like this for years. I'm not sure if I could stop now, even if I wanted to."
"Have you never told anyone before?"
"Yes. I told Chips. At first I thought I wouldn't. I couldn't. For one thing, I was too ashamed. Leslie Collis wasn't the only man who hated to look foolish. But I was never much good at hiding my feelings, and after a couple of days of idiocy, shambling around Chips's studio and dropping things, he lost patience with me and came out with it, and said what the hell was the matter with me, anyway. So I told him then. I told him everything, and he never interrupted; never said a word. Just sat there in his saggy old chair, smoking his pipe and listening. And when I'd finished, got it off my chest, the relief was so great that I couldn't think why I hadn't told him straight away."
"What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything for a bit. Just went on smoking and gazing into space. Mulling things over. I didn't know what he was thinking. I half-expected to be told to go and pack my bags and never darken the doors of Holly Cottage again.
"But finally he knocked the ash out of his pipe and put it in his pocket and said, 'Young man, you are being taken for a ride.' And then he told me about Annabelle. He said that she had always been amoral, openly promiscuous. That summer was no exception. As for the baby, there was another man, a farmer from over Falmouth way, married and with a family of his own. In Chips's opinion, there was every likelihood that he was the father of Annabelle's baby. And Annabelle must know this.
"When he came out with this, I was in more of a quandary than ever. Half of me was relieved. But, as well, I felt cheated. My pride was badly bruised. I knew I was deceiving Leslie Collis, but it gave my newly found manhood a kick in the teeth to be told that Annabelle had been two-timing me. That sounds despicable, doesn't it?"
"No. It's understandable. But if it was true, why did she say the baby was yours?"
"I asked Chips that very question. And he told me that
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